


DaTr Date Night

by Minaim



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-25
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2020-10-27 20:13:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 49,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20766296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Minaim/pseuds/Minaim
Summary: Six years later on Earth both Zim and Tak have accepted their banishment and now live on Earth free to do as they please, but instead of conquering it they have chosen to live in peace. They have found solace in the friendship of Dib and Gaz. Tak now sees Dib as someone closer than a friend. But will these new feelings be Tak's undoing or awakening?





	1. Chapter 1 - At The Arcade

**Author's Note:**

> I previously released this story on my account over at FanFiction on September 2, 2019. This story is identical to the one on FF in every way. I merely forgot to release it on this platform as well. Expect any future works of mine (if any) to be released both here and on FF in the future whether related to Invader Zim or not. Please enjoy, and thank you for reading.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s school tomorrow but it’s date night for Dib and Tak. As a break from their usual night out Dib brought her to the local arcade, but there Tak finds something she can’t beat down or pause for later. Will she be able to overcome or this truly unbeatable?

Tak reviewed the state of her vessel meticulously through its computer console. She noted a stable life-support system and defense array at near maximum power, its sensor’s registered itself atop an atmosphere-less asteroid hurling through space with her opponent nowhere to be found. She concluded the disappearance was caused by a cloaking device attached to the enemy’s ship which she had noted lend itself quite nicely to their tactic of minor aggression followed by hasty retreat, repeating until victory was achieved. It had only succeed in dealing minor damage to her vessel both now and at an earlier encounter, but she knew her opponent would need more than a cheap trick to take down an Irken Invader, and also that her opponent (for all she could tell) could not supply anything else beyond that.

Still, she was just as cautious as she was assured of her own victory, as only a fool would let themselves be defeated by their own overconfidence. Contrary to the greatest annoyance on this dirt ball of a planet, which she’s been existing on now for more than six of its solar cycles: Zim. Whose very existence _breathed _overconfidence, and yet also possessed an infallible tenacity that refused to perish no matter how far to the brink of devastation it was brought. While she did think the later was an admirable trait, she never would have said this openly to him, as it would have only made him that much more insufferable. She was hesitant to call him an ally, more so a neighbor in banishment, and he could still inspire within her a feeling of deepest frustration and malcontent whenever he dared to proclaimed himself as anything besides incompetent.

"Zim is neither here now, nor the reason for coming out.”

She had to tell herself this to refocus on the enemy at hand. Thankfully just as she brought herself back to the battle the enemy provided her with a means to its end. While her enemy’s cloaking device mostly obscured it from her ship’s sensors it was not completely unidentifiable. In their previous encounter Tak noted that her sensor array, while unable to detect the enemy ship, could pick-up any projectile based artillery fired on the battlefield, and thanks to the now incoming fire she was able to pinpoint the general location of her enemy. Maneuvering her vessel past the incoming missiles she utilized her ship’s ability to release a focused EMP based attack at the location of fire, while it deals no damage it makes up for it in its useful ability to remove any buffs the target possess. In one swift motion Tak was both able to avoid the enemy fire and release the blast towards it source leaving two ships now visible on the battle field. Pleased with her accomplishment but rather annoyed at the lack of challenge Tak revealed her disgruntlement,

“Alright, hide and seek is done. Let’s get this over with quickly, my boyfriend and I had the rest of the evening planned.”

Saying this however seemed to anger her opponent, which while it was not her intention, helped in ending their confrontation. Her opponent charge forward blindly in an attack that was easily dodged and Tak followed it with one of her own, dealing major damage to his ship. The vessel she was piloting possessed relatively weak firepower and average defenses but exceled at maneuverability and close quarters combat. Her opponent’s ship lacked firepower, defenses, and had only average maneuverability at best. Its only strength was its cloaking device, which was now useless.

“You know when I said, ‘get this over with’ I didn’t think you would just throw yourself at me. I thought you said you wanted a rematch?”

A display showed up on her screen with a video feed of her enemy, and she was surprised that even with the filter it provided the human looked just as greasy and disgusting as normal. Perhaps even more so, if that was possible. Her opponent roared,

“This is our rematch!”

Goading her enemies was something Tak had trouble avoiding and hated to admit it, but she chastised herself saying that Zim was rubbing off on her and hated that even more. In the instance she thought this to herself her opponent had already charged at her again and was able to land a blow. Tak quickly brought herself to attention and used her opponent’s over extension against him as he spurred a flurry of attacks, and was able to land a powerful counter. The blow was not fatal but the stun it provided allowed Tak to finish him off in her own sequence of attacks or “COMBOS” as Gaz had corrected her before. Tak even tried to remember one of the strings Gaz showed her last time they played together.

“Down, down, up, up, right, left, right, left. Or was it reverse? Was there an ‘X’ somewhere? Or was it ‘B’?”

She continued thinking like this to herself while she was attacking and complained that humans should streamline their attack commands if they ever wanted a chance against a more efficient species. True to any video game however, simply mashing buttons brought her to victory without even focusing and her opponent’s ship was rubble in no time at all. The computer screen on her ship beamed “PLAYER 2 WINS!” and an electronic fanfare blasted into her ears which together with the strobe lights was almost making her nauseous. Thankfully her work was done, and she removed the virtual reality helmet she had been wearing during the fight and found herself in the familiar arcade Dib had managed to drag her into.

Her opponent: the greasy, sweaty, and annoying human, was banging his fists on the computer console and his helmet, managing to hurt himself doing so. He tore off his helmet and glared at Tak while shouting again,

“I want a rematch!”

“That was your rematch.” Tak responded. “And like the first one, it wasn’t much of a match.”

“I would have beaten you, if it weren’t for your bullshit!”

Tak pricked up her brows at that. “Really? Cause from where I’m looking the ship you choose could probably be called ‘bullshit’. I however would call it more of a crutch.”

“It’s not a crutch! It’s a perfectly fair and balanced mechanic! Your ship was the one that’s unfair, it completely counters anything I could throw at it.”

“Why didn’t you pick a ship that was better equipped at fighting it then? I choose the same ship twice.” She removed the gloves to the simulation and got out of her seat while saying this, as indifferent towards him as was physically possible.

“Because I don’t need bullshit like you to kick your ass!”

“Evidently you do, or else you would have won.” She ended their conversation honestly, but her opponent didn’t appreciate it and was now spewing Earth profanities at her as she went away, which she did not care to pay attention to. She wasn’t upset at the profanities, it just made him that much more annoying, but she did feel sorry for him. She knew his emotions would only distract him and never let him improve, and just thinking about that concept made her stomach turn over. The crowd that had surrounded them during their battled seemed to be disappointed and pitied her opponent, but knowing humans she doubted it was for the same reason as her.

“Come along Mimi, let’s find Dib. I’ve had enough of this place.” Her loyal SIR unit, disguised as a cat, followed her in suit after collecting tickets that came from her machine, the purpose of which, still eluded Tak. She then made her way through the crowded and began the search for her big-headed boyfriend.

She had agreed to come to this arcade at request of Dib in hopes of having a “normal” date night. “You know without fighting off intergalactic threats, or hunting paranormal creatures, or having to make sure Zim doesn’t blow up the universe with one of his inane schemes.” She could hear him speak in her memory, and she still didn’t understand what was so much better about a “normal” date. Those fights were at least exciting and even if the enemy was smelly or annoying she was allowed to hit them. The bigfeet stalking he took her on typically ended in the two of them just walking through the forest and talking about anything, which was perfect as far as she was concerned. And not having to worry about Zim depended on Zim, and the probability of him taking a night off to make sure he didn’t spoil their night was about as likely as either one of them ever being allowed within a parsec of Irk again. Their entire night had been a let down from the beginning. As soon as they had set foot into the arcade she was overcome by the smell of old popcorn and stale candy, with jarring sound effects coming from every corner she looked. The dim lights contrasted by the bright consoles reminded her of a miserable city-planet she saw long ago, and the patrons where just as charming as they were clean.

Dib had tried to win her over when he saw how disappointed she knew she looked, he tried to tell her that the real attraction to the place were the games, not the ambiance. Though she had trouble seeing how any of the games could pass for recreation. The first game he brought them to was called “Sky Ball” or some other such nonsense, the purpose of which entailed rolling balls up a ramp into goal posts. While that may have proven a challenge for humans an Irken smeet could probably play that game, and she had been able to beat Dib with a perfect score using fundamental physics. Not to say Dib did horrible, but not perfect. Another game they played involved a battle simulation and Tak was confused how such a thing was meant as recreation and not military training. Another one involved playing as a yellow circle gathering pixels while avoiding ghosts, or one of Dib’s other interests, that clearly followed a predefined path, and so were easily avoidable to the point where she could have beaten the game in her sleep. Every other game they played followed suit similarly, if Tak was playing she found it either too easy or uninteresting, and if they played together Dib didn’t provide an adequate challenge for her. She was very happy that losing didn’t seem to bother Dib too much, definitely not as much as the human she just beat. Eventually he was just as bored by the arcade as she was and the two of them left to the food court section of the arcade to sit down and eat. Dib ordered a plate of nachos for them to split which were adequate except for the cheese which tasted more like syrup than cheese, and she had gagged on it. She then tried to wash it down with a drink from there which she nearly threw back up from the taste and way it burned her throat. While she had spent some time on the planet and built up a resistance to its filth, it didn’t do too much to help. Dib freaked out more than she did and probably would have carried her all the way back to her base if she let him. Tak was able to compose herself though and told him she was fine, but having had enough of their food she told him she needed a moment to walk it off. It was during that time that she ran into the apparent “champion” of the ship battle simulator, which she of course found to be anything but.

Right now she was exhausted of the arcade and just wanted to find Dib and maybe enjoy the walk home together. She made her way back to the food court but was only able to find the empty table they sat at before she left. She was just about to call him and save herself the time looking for him when Mimi grabbed her attention and pointed to familiar trench coat at the far end of the food court. Dib was on a small platform connected to a console doing what she assumed (and dreaded) was some sort of Earth dance, but it seemed that he couldn’t decide if he wanted to be fluid or firm in his movements. His feet were moving up and down the platform in a sporadic manner, but his upper body for the most part wasn’t doing all too much except for when he occasionally brought up his arms for emphasis of a move. While normally she would have been annoyed at him making a fool of himself, after the fiasco their date night had been it was refreshingly humorous. Still, she wasn’t in the mood to stay there any longer than she had to and made her way over to him. As she got closer she could make out on the main screen was a series of arrows overlaid on graphics scrolling from the bottom of the screen to the top and on the platform were corresponding symbols. Blasting out of the consoles speakers was the most jarring music Earth had to offer. So her fears were right and it was a dancing simulator, if the humans could even call it dancing. She approached Dib just as the music was reaching its climax and didn’t try to hide the bewilderment in her voice.

“What on Irk are you doing?”

Dib was caught off guard and immediately spun around to her voice. “Tak! Are you feeling better now?” He was leaning over the guardrails on the platform, evidently a little tired out from his excursion. 

“I’m fine.” She answered tersely, “But I’m ready to leave. I’ve had enough of this arcade.” She was looking past Dib at the machine, unable to hide her sickening curiosity of it. “What_ is_ this ridiculous contraption?”

“This? It’s DDR. Do you want to play a round before we go?”

Tak double checked herself to make sure she heard him correctly. “Are you serious? I just told you I’m ready to leave, I’m not in the mood for ‘a round’ of another one of your dumb Earth games!”

“Yeah, but…This one’s different.” Dib pointed behind him as he spoke sheepishly to her.

“Different?”

“Yeah all the other games we’ve played have been pretty straight forward. Applying physics, shooting stuff, avoiding AI patterns-”

“-Basic combat strategies.”

“Which one did we play that was about that?”

“I was playing against someone else when I went for my walk. It’s not important.” She waved her hand away as she said this, brushing the subject aside. “How is this one different?”

“Well this game is really about testing timing and coordination, you have to keep your feet to the beat, and also you need the stamina to last till the end of the song. So really its more about your physical fitness than anything else. This is also probably the game I’m the best at here, it’s the only one I’ve ever been able to beat Gaz on.”

“You’ve beaten Gaz on this?” Tak’s interest was piqued, Gaz was incredibly skilled at video games and on the few ones she liked to play against her Gaz always provided an excellent challenge. Gaz hadn’t beaten her every time they played of course, Tak was constantly improving herself and knew it was only a matter of time before she could beat Gaz consistently.

“Yeah, really just because she doesn’t really like this game.”

Tak knew Dib had an ego, but she also noted he tried to diminish it when he was hanging out with her, which she thought was sweet and also good for him. She felt better about not telling him this, in case it would counteract the attempt he was making.

“Well I still don’t know if I want to play this.” Tak said standing with her arms crossed staring at the machine.

Dib grew a grin after she this, “You’re interested in it though.”

“I’m not.”

“Ah, see? There’s that Irken stubbornness I’ve come to admire.”

“I’m not being stubborn. I’m just not interested.” Tak said this even though she was interested in the game a little bit, if only because Dib said he was able to beat Gaz at it, and that is was different from everything else she tried tonight. Even while thinking this, she still wasn’t sure she was interested enough to try it.

“Come on, we’ll play one game and then I’ll walk you home.”

“One game?” Tak asked still folding her arms over her chest, but saying and doing not much else.

“One game. And then I’ll take you home or anywhere else you want to go for the night.”

Tak stood there weighing her options, and eventually it seemed to Dib that Tak’s curiosity got the better of her.

“_Fine_.” She dragged out, “One game, then take me home.”

Dib did a small fist-pump after hearing this and started setting up the machine.

“The game’s really simple Tak. I’m going to pick a song and on the screen arrows are going to scroll up. When they reach their outlines at the top you just press the matching buttons on the floor. You get extra points for staying in rhythm so if Irkens have any sense of that you’ll have to show me tonight.”

“We don’t have music on Irk Dib, any such distractions are viewed as detrimental to productivity. And so doesn’t go well for the Empire. Even so, I doubt this will be an issue for me.”

Dib made a small raspberry, “Wow. You Irkens really are a happy bunch? I’m honestly surprised Zim’s one of your species.”

“Dib. It’s bad enough for me that you interact with him when we’re all in the same room. Please don’t make this date even worse than it’s already been by bringing him up.”

Dib rolled his eyes at that but didn’t say anything further to the point. “Do you care which song I pick then?” He said this as he took off his trench coat and hanged it on the platform railing.

“They’re all equally hideous to me Dib, but pick something with a bit less ‘pop’ in it. I find those kinds of songs completely unbearable.”

“This one is probably more your style then.” Dib said as he choose the song on the menu, “Techno-Something” or some other nonsense Tak didn’t bother to read. Before they completed the setup Dib noticed Tak taking a long look over the screen then was usually normal for her.

“This should be easy Dib.”

“Don’t sound too sure of yourself Tak, you know I’m full of surprises.”

She grinned slyly at that but didn’t say anything. Dib asked her a final time if she was ready, and after she said she was the game started and a techno mashup blasted through the speakers. It wasn’t one of Dib’s favorite songs, and it didn’t help that the track had a difficult sequence in the beginning. He was putting in his all regardless, and was able to do decent at first but noticed a fall in his quality as the song drew on.

“What’s a matter sweet Dibble, getting tired already?” Tak cooed over to him.

Dib was so focused on his own screen that he hadn’t looked over to Tak at all, when he did he was stunned to see her screen performing a perfect score but her not moving at all. More so from the shock he hunched over and grasped for breath while asking how she was doing that. Then Dib was reminded that his girlfriend was an Irken Invader. She let out a laugh that would send him into a panic if he still thought of her as an enemy. While she was doing so he saw her pak legs fade in and out of visibility as they flawlessly performed the sequence on the screen.

“That’s cheating Tak.” Was all Dib could say.

“Cheating? I’m not cheating. I’m just using my own advantages to my benefit. It’s not my fault you’re a weak human.”

“Yeah but the purpose of the game is to use your own body. I could probably disassemble this whole thing and reprogram it to always give me a perfect game, but I wouldn’t be actually playing the game at that point. Same as you using your pak to play it for you.”

“Yeah, well too bad. Looks like neither of us are playing now, so there’s no point in arguing over technicalities. And I believe our agreement was you’d take me home after we were done. So let’s get going.”

Tak stepped off the platform as she said this and began walking away before Dib interrupted her.

“It’s okay Tak, I get that you need a crutch.” She didn’t say anything but she stopped in her tracks and visibly tighten. “I mean hell, if I had a robot backpack attached to me my whole life, and I depended on it to do all my physical work for me, I don’t think I’d feel too confident in my ability to play this game either. But hey like you said, we’re not playing anymore. But don’t worry we won’t be coming back here so you won’t have to worry about this catching up to you.”

Dib stepped off the platform as he said this and went next to Tak after he grabbed his trench coat off the guard rail. He could see her shaking slightly, he thought from anger, and was worried for a second that he may have touched a sore spot for her. His concern didn’t last after she spoke to him.

“Dib. Make no mistake. I am way stronger, faster, and more agile than you.”

“Right, which you totally just proved.”

“I don’t need to prove anything to you!” She said spinning around to him. The anger in her voice would have sent him into a panic years ago but since then he’s learned a thing or two about her.

“Oh what’s a matter? The little Irken’s afraid of losing to the human.” He teased her.

The two of them were both facing each other as they talked, and Tak after hearing this came close to him and forcefully pointed into Dib’s chest repeatedly for emphasis as she said,

“**_Never_** call me little. Ever. Again.”

“Alright, alright.” Dib laughed off. “The very tall, smart, and pretty Irken is afraid of losing to the small, dumb, ugly human.”

Dib leaned over her as he said this and even picked himself slightly off his tippy toes for a moment. Dib was a good bit taller than she was even with how tall she had become while staying on Earth. Tak hated the fact that Dib had grown to be so tall, and hated that she liked it so much.

“You don’t really mean your pak does all the work for you.” Dib tried to say this as smoothly as he possibly could.

Tak backed away from him for a moment and squinted while bringing her hand to her eyes. “Dib, I know exactly what you’re trying to do-”

“-and it’s working?!” Dib interrupted her sounding very hopeful.

She brought her hand over her head and brushed it through her hair. “You are the most annoying human on this planet, and the second most annoying thing overall.”

“Careful Tak, keep talking like that and you’ll end up making my ego bigger than yours.”

“Please. It’s only an ego if you can’t back it up.” Without another word she stretched herself and stood back up on the platform, the previous song having already ended while they were talking.

“Let’s just get this over with. I don’t care what song you pick. Let me just beat you so we can both go home.”

“If that’s the case then I’m going to pick my favorite song on here. I want to give you a real challenge.”

“If you manage to actually do that, that’ll be the biggest surprise this evening.”

Dib glared at that but didn’t say anything related to it. He set up the game and the two of them were preparing themselves.

“And no cheating this time.” Dib said.

“I don’t need to.” Tak hissed out.

There was silence between the two of them as the game counted down before beginning, and Tak could feel the tension between the two of them growing unbearable. Right before it did Dib said playfully,

“I love you Tak!”

Tak was caught off guard by his statement, if only because she didn’t know if he meant it sincerely, if he was just loosening the tension by being weird, or if he was trying to distract her. She was ready to say something in response, what she was going to say she wasn’t sure, but she was interrupted by the start of the round before she could say anything. A gushy pop song blasted through the speakers, it seemed Dib was throwing all the cards against her now, but she was more determined to win now than she had been before in a very long time. The first opening seconds of the song was easy as all the movements followed a predictable sequence, and Tak was able to land all the movements. She noticed she wasn’t earning a perfect score, as the system indicated she hit the correct buttons but not in “beat”, which she now assumed was a more precise timing.

“This is your song Dib? I’m falling asleep here, if that was your plan it’s working.”

“Don’t boast too soon Tak, it’s about to heat up.”

Not a second after Dib said this, the music faded from its current style to a rest. Tak thought it sounded like the low rumblings before an avalanche, and then the song blasted into a crescendo. Tak attempted to follow along but the previous sequence the song followed briefly in the beginning was gone, and the new one seemed almost random, and the music jarring to her. Her feet shuffled trying to hit the pattern, but she was losing all over the place, and felt clumsy on her feet like she had never used them before.

“Not so easy now, is it Tak?”

She could hear Dib goad next to her. She looked over to him for a second and found he was just as clumsy as she was, probably even worse. She didn’t say anything to this though, she just gritted her teeth and growled slightly while trying to focus. She would win this yet. She tried to recover and find the beat, but every time she got the pattern down it seemed the song would change it just to mitigate her progress. She found herself lifting her arms in emphasis of her movements subconsciously, like how she saw Dib do earlier. She was not going to give up, an Invader would never give up even in the face of total defeat. She eventually found a pattern to the madness, and while she wasn’t hitting every note the song threw at her she felt she was a far cry away from losing. The song had only been going on for a minute or less but she felt it had lasted ages and was already feeling drained. Imagine her joy when she looked over to Dib again and saw he looked more tired than her.

“Give it up Dib.” She started, panting for breath slightly in between moves. “I’ve studied your human physiology, your body can’t produce nearly the same amount of energy as an Irken. You may have been fine at the start of the song, but there’s no way you can beat me now. Without a squeedlyspooch it’s just not possible.”

“Yeah Tak?” Dib started panting just as hard as Tak, “Well it seems like your knowledge of humans is totally off. I’ll have you know we humans get what’s called an ‘adrenaline rush’. Which is this big burst of energy that makes us like fifteen times stronger. It happens all the time, and old ladies can use it to pick cars off of babies.”

“Really?” Tak asked clearly disbelieving.

“Yeah. And you know what? I think mines about to kick in!”

Dib picked up his pace for as long as he could after he said this to help the illusion. He wasn’t sure if Tak bought his bluff, but he could have sworn he saw her try to match his speed and swore under her breath. He couldn’t have chosen a better time to do what he did. The song had ended right when he felt like he would have collapsed if he went on any longer. The two of them weren’t mouthing off at each other after it ended, they had been too tired to do so, and where instead hunched over the guard rail facing the console panting heavily. Tak’s score shot up first: “C-”.

“Hah! Beat that Dib!”

While Tak had said this as boastfully as possible Dib could tell she was extremely disappointed with her score, and hoped it wouldn’t bother her too much later. Dib’s score showed up next, he wasn’t sure what he was hoping for before it came up, but it was on the screen before he could decide: “C+”.

“I… I won?”

Was all Dib could say, as he felt there were eyes burning into the back of his head. If any were though it wasn’t Tak’s. He looked next to him and saw she was still staring at the screen and watched her expression change from shock to complete anger. Dib wasn’t sure if he was more scared of or worried for her.

“Hey Tak, don’t worry about it. It’s only a game.”

He said trying to mitigate the situation but worried he only made things worse. She was breathing heavily, a look of anger still on her. She grabbed the metal guard rail and Dib thought for a moment she was going to crush it with her hands. She must have realized she couldn’t (or decided not to crush it) and instead brought her hands to the rubber padding at the middle of the railing and slowly tore that off, which Dib knew was no easy feat. Her breathing seemed to quite after she did this and Dib hoped she calmed herself down, but right after that Tak turned around and walked away from the console. Dib called out to her but she was ignoring him completely, and not wanting to lose sight of her he went after her without even grabbing his trench coat. He didn’t get more than a few steps before he tripped over something.

“Really Mimi?”

He called out looking around him, but Tak’s Sir unit was just collecting tickets from the machine. It gave Dib a quizzical and angry look as she did so behind her disguise, seeming to state she didn’t trip him but was happy he did. He got up and grabbed his trench coat before going after Tak, glaring at Mimi the whole time. He looked around and called for Tak again but she was nowhere in sight. He assumed she went to the exit and was headed there when he saw Mimi go off deeper into the arcade. Knowing Mimi was a bit more loyal (or at least more obedient) than Gir would be in a situation like this and that she had a sixth sense for Tak’s general whereabouts he followed her in tow. They ended up in the section of the arcade that had the older cabinets that weren’t as popular, and as far as Dib could tell it was just him and Mimi there. He heard a sound like something banging hard against the side of the metal cabinets and he and Mimi both went towards the sound. They found Tak, her head buried in a corner between a wall and an old cabinet, and she wasn’t saying or doing anything. Mimi went up to her and padded at her legs with her paws while mewing, but Tak did not respond in anyway.

“Tak?” He called out cautiously to her.

“That was horrible.” Was all she said.

Dib rubbed the back of his head as he said, “Really Tak it wasn’t that bad.”

“Yes. It was.” Tak stated this flatly, and Dib could sense the frustration in her voice. “It’s bad enough that I lost to you by two whole grades, but the fact that you weren’t in peak condition and I was means I would have lost worse if we were even.”

“I wasn’t tired Tak, that was me giving my all. And you did play really well for the first time. I mean, I’m nowhere near good at that game, I’ve seen people play it before that’ll destroy anything I got, and you really didn’t do as bad as you think.” Dib was nervous and stumbled out his words as he tried to cheer up Tak.

“Don’t fucking patronize me! You know how stupid I looked out there! That thing made me feel like I’ve never used my feet before!” Tak slammed the side of the cabinet again, and turned around to glare at Dib.

“Okay, okay Tak! It’s just a game. You don’t need to get angry.” He brought his hands to his face as he said this and felt a familiar sense of self-preservation taking over him. Tak girted her teeth and clenched her fist harder as she turned around to stare into the corner again.

“I am not angry about the game.”

“You’re-You’re not?” Dib said dumb founded.

“No. I’m not, I’m furious, but it’s not about the game. It’s about how much I’m letting this thing get to me.”

“I don’t understand.”

Tak seemed to curl inward of herself and became smaller before she spoke, “Irkens don’t get mad. Or if they do they don’t let it get in their way. The fact of the matter is that I failed, and when that happens one of two things follow for an Irken: you’re disposed of. Either demoted or removed. Or, you learn from it, and never let it happen again. I shouldn’t be so angry that I can’t focus on what I did wrong and how I fix myself. I should be calm, focused, and determined.”

Tak lowered her voice as she finished and tried to remain collected, brushing a hand through her hair, but Dib saw frustration return to her face before she even finished.

“I shouldn’t be thinking about how much I hate that game, and how stupid it is, and how I never want to play it again, but I just feel angry and I CAN’T STOP FUCKING FEELING THIS WAY!”

Tak punched the side of the cabinet again which made an incredibly loud noise and Dib saw it leave a dent that would definitely be noticed by someone later. Tak didn’t do or say anything else after this, and Dib didn’t know how to try to comfort her, or if he really knew what she was going through. Mimi stopped padding her legs after her final outburst, and went away into the arcade again, Dib wasn’t sure what she was up to “Maybe she’s giving us some time alone?” He thought to himself, and so tried to make the most of it.

“Tak.” He started awkwardly not knowing what to say. “I get it, you’re angry.”

“You think?” She responded harshly through her teeth. Which Dib thought was better than her just being quite, but he wasn’t entirely sure.

“Yeah but I think you’re angry for the wrong reasons. I get, you know, losing at a game sucks. It’s normal that you’re angry about it, but don’t be angry about being angry.”

“I’m not angry about being angry.” She said this with a bit less malice in her voice. “I’m angry that I can’t focus.”

“Right which I think is dumb. What does it matter that you’re not set on getting better at a game you said you’ll never play again?”

“Because an Irken would never be like that,” Tak turned away from her corner to look at Dib as she said this, “an Irken would rise to the challenge no matter what!”

“Well you’re a far cry from Irk now. Maybe you should stop living like you’re under the Empire still. Maybe you should live the way you actually want to now and not the way they would want you to. Here on Earth you can do that.”

Dib thought what he said was pretty inspirational, but Tak didn’t seem too convinced and shook her head slightly before continuing.

“Dib, do you remember when I went to walk-off that disgusting Earth food? I said I was playing another game with someone else. The human I was playing against got so angry when I beat him. **_So_** angry that all he could focus on was how angry he was, when I could see, and I knew he could see, how he could have done better if he just looked at what happened objectively and not emotionally. That’s me right now, I’m so focused on my anger that I can’t get better.”

“Well…then I’d say you’re better than he was, at least you’re self-aware.”

“What does it matter that I’m self-aware if I’m still like this, that I’m still def-. That I’m still angry?” Tak turned away from him again into the corner, the faintest look of sadness in her eyes that was almost invisible.

Dib didn’t need to be his dad to figure out what was bothering Tak the most (actually he doubted his dad could figure it out, he never really was much of a people person). Dib knew the “D-Word” was a really sore topic for Tak, one she rarely ever brought up, and if she did she would never want to go any further into it than the length of the conversation brought it. So he tried to cheer her up one last time.

“Well then just be angry. The game’s stupid anyway.” This was all he said to her, and for a moment there was a period of silence in which neither of them spoke or did anything else. Eventually Tak was the one who broke the silence.

“I _really _hate that game.” She said this with deep loathing in her voice, and turned from her corner to Dib again.

“You’re not the only one, I’m sure.”

“Can we go destroy it?” Tak said with joyous anticipation in her voice, and turned fully away from the corner to face Dib.

“That’ll probably get us kicked out of here permanently, so no.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“I mean the four of us will probably want to come back here again when we all want to hang out. And I know you’ll want to keep trying you’re hand at beating Gaz again.”

“I’ve already beaten her before.” Take said annoyed crossing her arms.

“Beating her some more is what I meant. Gaz would love to play against you on one of the games here.”

“I’m not playing against her on the dancing game.” Tak said almost growling, and Dib tried to back pedal to save himself.

“I never said you would. I said Gaz hates it too, remember?”

Tak still had her arms crossed while they were talking, and she looked more annoyed than upset or angry, so Dib thought she was better but not completely. Even while she looked annoyed she couldn’t manage to look at him in the eyes. Right as they were done talking Mimi came back mewing at Tak’s legs again, but Tak completely ignored her. Dib noticed she was holding a receipt paper in her mouth.

“What do you have here Mimi?” Dib said and reached down for her, and was pleased and surprised that Mimi gave it to him. He looked over it before showing it to Tak.

“It looks like Mimi’s been collecting all of our tickets for the night. I honestly forgot this arcade even had them, and we got over 25,000 to spend.”

Tak tore the ticket out of Dib’s hand and looked over the receipt herself.

“I have no basis for this currency. Is this a lot?”

“Probably enough for us to get anything we want at the prize counter.”

Tak tossed away the receipt towards Dib. He caught it as she started walking away.

“Is that supposed to interest me?”

“We could probably find a toaster or something for you to fiddle with and make a bomb out of if that interests you.”

“Dib, you know the device you call a ‘toaster’ doesn’t have near enough parts to turn it into a practical improvised explosive.”

“Well, you could probably find something else and turn it into something to prank Zim with next time we see him.”

Tak grew a huge grin at the mention of that. “Maybe I can find something to scar or frighten him.”

“So we’ll go to the prize counter and get something?”

Dib went up next to her and grabbed her hand. Tak then leaned into his shoulder and sighed before saying, 

“Do that, and then take me home.”

* * *

“Man… the ticket prices sure have gone up since I was a kid.” Dib said as he scanned the prize counter from top to bottom.

“Inflation is typically a natural course for an ungoverned economy, and this place hardly seems like the type to have any regulation.” Tak said condescendingly.

The two of them were standing next to one another, their hands still intertwined. Tak was leaning her head against Dib, but looked more exhausted than affectionate.

“Is there really a point to us being here still? I don’t see anything I like.” Tak said, once again not hiding her annoyance.

“I’m trying to find you a gift remember?"

“Gift? Last I checked Dib I earned us most of the tickets we have. Doesn’t that make you more of an Indian giver?”

“No, that’s when you give something away only to take it back later.”

“Whatever! My point is I don’t need anything from here.”

“Yeah, but you’ve been having a shitty night. I just wanted to get you something to make up for it.”

Tak sighed in resignation, “Just pick something quickly, and let’s get out of here.”

Dib was looking as hard as he could, but he wasn’t finding anything he thought Tak would enjoy. She liked to dabble in examining “primitive Earth technology” every once in a blue moon purely for fun, but all of them were in the upper millions. They did have a toaster funnily enough, but that was half a million, so also out of budget. The only items they could afford where the small to medium sized stuffed animals, and some other toys. Thankfully it was just the two of them at the prize counter and the employee running it was preoccupied on his phone, so he spoke to Tak freely about what she’d really use the potential gift for.

“What about that can of slug?” He said pointing to a cheap toy labeled _Biohazardous Waste_, “I’m sure it’ll burn Zim a little bit, or you could poison his lunch with it.”

Tak came to attention at his suggestion and was considering it for a moment but said, “Nah, I could probably synthesized something worse on my own.”

“Okay well how about that laser?” He said pointing to a plastic laser toy on the wall which boasted the ability to shoot real lasers.

“Really? I could make better firearms in my sleep. Even if I was just going to examine it for amusement I doubt I’d get any enjoyment from it.”

“Okay well how about that?” Dib said, this time pointing to a box for a cat leash with a picture of little girl towing a cat along. “It would help you keep an eye on Mimi.”

Mimi hissed and scratched at Dib’s leg at the suggestion, which prompt a small laugh from Tak, afterwards she said playfully,

“Oh, I don’t know Mimi, Dib’s got a point. You’ve been awfully rambunctious lately.”

Which earned a low growl from Mimi in response.

“So I’ll get that for you?” Dib said hopefully.

“If you want to sure, but honestly I’ll never use it.”

This was becoming a difficult decision for Dib. He didn’t want to get a gift for Tak, just for the sake of it. If he was going to get her something it would have to be something she’d actually want or at least used everyone once in a while. He’d might as well just get her a stuffed toy at that rate. When that idea flashed into his head, he thought that could work, so long as he got her something novel enough that she’d want to keep. He looked briefly at the lineup of stuffed toys on the shelf when he saw one he thought she’d enjoy.

“How about a stuffed toy?”

“Really Dib? I know it’s human tradition for the male to purchase a stuffed creature for his mate and it matches your theme of a ‘normal’ date, but that would be the absolute last thing I’d want from here.”

“Really cause I was thinking of getting you that one.” Dib said pointing to a stuffed toy in the shape of a flying saucer, complete with the traditional green alien sewed onto the glass dome. “Is does kind of match you.” He said teasingly.

“Honestly Dib that’s…” Tak sounded like she was going to berate him at first but after she saw the toy she grew a curious expression on her face. “…actually, I never noticed it before. But that ship design does look frighteningly similar to the style Žertians typically use, and the pilot doesn’t look too different from one of them.”

“Really?” Dib said with fascination before he took out a note book from his pocket and started writing down.

“What are you doing?”

“Getting the name down, so next time I see one of those on the radar I can call them by it.”

“I would be cautious before you do that, the Žertians are a pretty unpredictable species in how they act. They’ve taken to interstellar nomadism since the Empire conquered their home planet, and they’ve been known to abduct other species for all kinds of purposes.”

“Really? Well that would explain a few things if it’s not just a coincidence.”

“Hey are you two going to buy something or what?” The clerk said annoyed from behind the counter, still engrossed in his phone.

“We’re busy deciding.” Tak replied angrily.

“Well could you hurry it up?”

“We’re not preventing you from playing on your primitive little phone by being here.”

“Uh… are you sure about that?” The clerk raised his phone up to them so they could see it as he spoke but neither of them could see what he was doing on it.

Tak let out an annoyed grunt, but before she could say or do anything else Dib yelled to the clerk, “We won’t be much longer.” And then turned to Tak to say, “Do you want the spaceship?”

“No, but for the sake of getting us out of here I’ll choose one of the stuffed monsters.”

“You really want one?”

“Not really, but if I’m going to get anything here it better be something I could see myself actually wanting, even if it’s just to throw out later.”

Tak stepped away from Dib and went up to the clerk and said,

“Service drone-”

“I have a name you know?” The clerk replied.

“It’s not important.”

“It’s Karl.”

“Carl…” Tak said, bringing her hand to her eyes to squint in exasperation.

“Karl with a K.”

“The spelling of your name has no determinable affect to how I pronounce it. But, Carl with a K, I’m in need of an ugly stuffed toy to complete my date with my boyfriend. So show me the best stuffed monsters you have.”

“Uh, can’t you see them for yourself?”

“I don’t know what their significance is, so I need you to dictate them to me so I can select the superior one.”

“You’ve never been to zoo, or looked at these animals in a book before?”

“I probably have, but I couldn’t have been bothered to remember them.” Tak said crossing her arms with an air of indifference.

Dib walked up to the counter and said with only a small sense of concern in his voice, “That won’t be needed Tak, I can just tell you about them myself. What about that one there?” He pointed to a small stuffed black cat on the wall, which earned him another hiss from Mimi.

“Exactly, I have already have Mimi for that. Honestly Dib that one’s a worse suggestion than the spaceship.”

“Well how about that one? It’s a lion, they’re hunters on the top of the food chain where they live.”

“Better, but too similar to Mimi.”

“The gray one next to it with tusks and a long nose? They’re called elephants and they’ve been known for their intelligence.”

“How intelligent? Do you have a written language or use weapons?”

“I’ve heard they use sticks and shit as tools, and might have some sort of language they use.” Karl said without looking up from his phone.

“I thought you said you were too busy to educate me on the stuffing’s?”

“I can still commentate.”

“Forget him.” Dib said, “How about that one, a honey badger right?”

“Honey badgers are the best. They just don’t give a fuck.” Karl said.

“Their nihilism doesn’t impress me. Next.”

The three of them went on like this until they exhausted all the stuffed animals they could afford, and Dib was ready to give up when Tak pointed out a small one they missed.

“How about that one?” She said pointing to a small rodent like animal, it was so small but it costed 27,500 tickets.

“The uh…muskrat?” Dib said, bemused both at her interest in it and at its price.

“Hey man that one’s a mongoose, they’re like super tough and fight rattle snakes and shit.”

“They fight cobras.” Dib said, who had become more irritated with Karl than Tak had.

“And these cobras?” Tak started intrigued. “They’re some genus of snakes, correct?”

“Yeah, they’re big, venomous, and prey on humans and other animals all the time. But they’re mongooses prey and they kill them easily.”

Tak pondered on what Dib told her for a moment, after which she said, “That one will do.”

“We’ll take the it then.” Dib said not missing a beat.

After he said that Karl finally got off his phone and grumbled something about ‘choosing one he had to get a ladder for’ and went into the back room presumably for said ladder.

“So why the mongoose?” Dib asked her once he was out of sight.

“I actually find it very similar to an Invader: small and unassuming, but a powerhouse within!” Tak said bringing her hand up into a fist for emphasis, “Plus I do like its aesthetic if I’m being honest.”

Karl came back out, pulled the stuffed toy off the shelf, and ask them for the tickets for it. Dib provided the receipt to him and Karl was handing it to him when Tak came over and snatched it out of his hands.

“Uh? That still leaves you with 500, if you guys want anything else.” Karl said perplexed by Tak’s actions.

“I think we’re good but thanks.” Dib started but was interrupted before he finished by Mimi pawing at his legs. She then pointed to a small shelf on the counter with Gummy Bears candy.

“Gummy Bears?” Dib said in disbelief turning to Tak. He saw her intently fondling her new toy, and was distracted by his sudden question.

“Huh? Oh right. Mimi’s taken a liking to them. Get them for her if you don’t mind.” She said barely taking her attention from the toy.

Dib purchased them and presented the opened bag to her but Mimi let out a disgusted meow after he did.

“Oh right. She doesn’t care for the green ones.”

“Why doesn’t she like the green ones?”

“I don’t know why she likes anything. Just take out the green ones so I don’t have to hear her on the way back.”

Dib complied with the request sorting out the green ones in his hands, and was surprised to see Mimi eat directly out of his once the green ones were gone. He felt Mimi’s course tongue brush and tickle against his hands, and was surprised by how much detail Tak put into their disguises. Mimi purred with satisfaction upon finishing and even let Dib pet her. After they were done she went over to Tak, brushed against her legs, and purred again.

“Great. Are we done here?” Said Tak without looking up from her toy.

Dib said that they were, and after throwing the wrapper along with the green Gummy Bears into the garbage (and missing) the three of them left the arcade and began their walk back home. Their walk back was very uneventful, it mostly consisted of them talking about anything besides what happened that night. They talked about recent happenings at High Skool, Zim’s most recent hijinks which Dib had to bail him out of, that fact that Miss Bitters had died recently (which Dib still couldn’t get over), and that Gaz had entered into a video game tournament. They were almost to Tak’s home, but while they were talking Dib couldn’t help but feel like he was the one carrying the conversation. Tak had only supplied the odd comment here and there and was still very much fascinated by her stuffed toy she got. Dib was actually happy she was enjoying it so much, but he also thought is was uncharacteristic of her and was worried. So trying to ail his worry he said to her:

“You’re really into that mongoose I got you.”

“Huh? Yeah it’s strange actually.” She started saying, “Normally I’m very indifferent to any Earth toy, but this one specifically has captured my fascination. It’s like, I don’t know, like I have this gravitation towards this thing and I can’t help but fondle it.” Tak said while playing with it as she had done the entire walk home.

Dib guessed she was experiencing a new feeling and was relieved when he figured it out. “I think the word you’re looking for is ‘adorable’. As in you find the toy adorable.”

“What?” Tak said looking away from the toy, somewhat concerned.

“That feeling you’re describing for the toy. You can’t pull yourself away from it and all you want to do is ruffle it a bunch. That’s you finding it adorable.”

“Adorable…” She said the word to herself while looking at the toy and then her eyes beamed. “Yes! Yes that’s it that’s exactly it. I find this toy adorable. Oh my tallest it’s so adorable!” and then she giggled as she brought the toy to her face, playing with it the whole time.

If Dib wasn’t surprised already, he was now. He couldn’t remembered ever seeing her so giddy over anything the whole time he’d known her, but he wasn’t the only one to notice. Mimi went up to her and started mewing and rubbing up against her try to get her attention, but all Tak did was shoo her away. Disgruntled Mimi then went to Dib and started doing the exact same thing to him. He was very confused and asked what Mimi was up to, but before he could finish Mimi jumped right at him and into his arms. Dib brought his arms up instinctively and wound up carrying her, after which she began purring and caressing him profusely. He was thoroughly confused again, but pleasantly surprised as she rarely let anyone but Tak carry or pet her.

“Why are you so friendly all of a sudden, was it the Gummy Bears?” He said playfully to her, but all she did was purr louder to him in response. “Oh I get it. Somebody’s jealous, you poor kitty.” He said this and then brought Mimi down from his face and cradled her in his arms to pet her. While he was doing so Mimi was looking at Tak the whole time, who by now was glaring at Mimi with daggers. She stopped playing with her toy then and walked up to the two of them, Mimi was overjoyed at her coming over, but it was not for the reason she thought it was.

“Mimi here, hold this for me.” Tak said as she pushed the stuffed mongoose into her, and grabbing Dib by the collar of his coat pulled him in for a kiss. Tak always felt bold whenever she kissed him. She wasn’t sure if it was because he was a human, or if was because she was an Irken and Irkens weren’t supposed to kiss. At any rate she wasn’t focused on why she felt that way, and was preoccupied with exploring her dumb human’s mouth. While normally the planet’s filth irritated her she was thankful Dib’s bodily fluids never did, he body must naturally filter it out, she could still feel something when they exchanged saliva, but only a slight tingle. His teeth always interested her whenever she got the chance to examine them. They weren’t like hers, which where hard cartilage, but instead bone with slicers in the front and round mashers in the back. His tongue interested her the most, while hers was long, firm, and cord like, his was flat, soft, and so very warm. She felt like she could wrap her whole tongue around his. She imagined her tongue as a cobra and his tongue as a mongoose, and that thought sent shivers over her body. After a moment they separated from each other and caught their breathe, immediately after which Tak said,

“Who’s jealous?” To which Dib replied,

“I don’t know I can’t remember.”

Mimi replied with a low growl to both of them, and then Tak gave into her.

“Fine.” She drawled out, “Come here, and hold my mongoose for me Dib.”

Tak took Mimi in her arms while Dib held onto her toy. She cradle Mimi while petting and rubbing at her, and Mimi responded with satisfied purrs.

“Oh Mimi. And you say I’m going native. Just as well though, I don’t think the two of us will be leaving this planet anytime soon.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Dib responded slightly miffed.

“It won’t be, with the right company anyway.”

The three of them had reached the gates of Tak’s home as they talked.

“Guess this is goodbye for the night, I hope you had a good time.” Dib said.

“I didn’t really, but it was bearable.”

“Well I hope I’m bearable to you.”

“You are, most of the time.” She teased him as she went for another kiss.

She turned away from him after they finished, and she went into her estate as the gates opened for her. Dib stood by and watched her as she made her way into her home. When she was out of sight he began his walk home. He was going over the night as he did, he thought it went well for the most part, and wasn’t completely ready to rule out the arcade for another one of their date nights. A few days later though, it would be him, Tak, Zim, and Gaz at his house playing video games. So he hoped Tak wasn’t completely tuckered out of them, but that was for another day.


	2. Chapter 2 - Skool SNAFU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Second to last period before the weekend and Dib can’t wait for it to end. But before school lets out he gets a message from a certain someone. Can he answer the call or is this a problem that requires at least two people to solve?

“I cannot love her, nor will strive to do't.” Dib said, with as much enthusiasm as a sloth. He was all but drooling over his textbook, but it was from an attempt to remain conscious, as opposed to a profound interest.

“Thou wrong'st thyself, if thou shouldst strive to choose.” Replied his professor enthusiastically.

He was trying his hardest to breathe life into the reading while explaining what was happening every few sentences to a nearly comatose classroom. Unfortunately for the professor, besides a few members of the class, everyone was as interested in it as Dib was or worse. He was just barely paying attention so he knew when he had to read, as the professor had the brilliant idea of giving roles to the classroom to force them to pay attention. Today Dib was Bertram, Gretchen was Helena, Keef was Parolles, and the professor was the King. He only remembered this because he knew he had to speak if he heard one of them talk. English class was the only place Dib could be caught reading anything even remotely related to Shakespeare. It was also one of the few classes he questioned why the education system still deemed it necessary to teach in Skool, as he found it provided absolutely nothing to his “education”, if he would even call it that. The fact that it was his least favorite class didn’t help either, but thankfully it was also his second to last class for the day.

He was half paying attention while the professor and Gretchen exchanged lines between his. After he finished the professor explained to the class what was happening and thanked Dib for reading. This was his que that he didn’t have to read for a while, hopefully not for the rest of class, but it was dragging on like the horizon of the black hole Zim had thrown him into a month ago. The mere thought of which nearly sent him into a panic attack. Zim had completely brushed off his concern after he pulled him out of it, which Dib thought was so very typical of him. “You’ll be fine. You haven’t really space traveled unless you suffer from some mild time displacement.” Zim had said that to Dib after he saved him, and if he hadn’t been almost completely catatonic at the time he would have thrown Zim into the black hole himself. He did throw him into some space monster’s den later, but that was for the benefit of the mission they were on. The purpose of which was related to some disaster Zim had caused with an Eldritch abomination that Dib couldn’t even be bothered to remember completely. Even though he had made Earth his home Zim still had a knack for getting himself and the rest of the planet into a mess. Thankfully he was usually able to reverse the damage, and when he couldn’t Dib was there to help him. Not to say Dib didn’t mind, he was angry every time Zim put the Earth or themselves in danger, but saying Dib didn’t get a thrill every time they were in danger wouldn’t be close to the truth at all.

Since Zim had made himself his own force for good, and even well before that, Dib has admired him for his tenacity, creativity, and his own unique form of brilliancy. Now he could most definitely call Zim his closest friend, but if he tried to pinpoint when exactly they became friends, even when he was enemy of Earth, he couldn’t tell when that point in their relationship had happened. All he could say for certain is that they both thought of each other as friends, even if they got on each other’s nerves more often than not. It was for that reason that he got a pit in his stomach after he felt a vibration coming from his phone.

Only one of four people could be texting him right now, really only one. His dad would only be texting to remind him of a family gathering the same night, which he rarely ever did unless it was about a public event him and Gaz had to be at. More often Gaz would be the one to tell him about a family gathering and to keep his weird paranormal stuff out of it. He went over the family schedule in his head and couldn’t think of anything either one of them would message him about. His dad was out of the house for the weekend and Zim and Tak were coming over tonigh to play video games and watch movies, but he knew Gaz wouldn’t bother texting him about that. Tak never texted him when they were at Skool, even during break, so she was out of the question. That left the only possible person who could be texting him now to be Zim. The only time he ever heard a text from him was when something was wrong, apart from the occasional meme Gir sent him when he stole Zim’s phone. Considering that Gir was in Middle Skool now, and that Zim had been very strict about him not skipping class he doubted Gir was the culprit, especially since if he was his phone would be blowing up by now. His last class for today was chemistry with Zim as his partner. Meaning even before he started mixing chemicals Zim had figured out how to turn a baking-soda and vinegar volcano into a planet destroying bomb. He was just about ready to pull out his phone and text Zim that whatever mess he made today was his to deal with when he pulled it out and saw that it was Tak and not Zim who messaged him.

Her text read: _[Can you sneak out of class real quick?]_

Dib thought this was very unusual for her, she was too studious to be caught texting in class. If only for the sake of her disguise she would get A’s in all of her classes, even the dumb ones like English. He knew the only way she could do it was by cheating, not that he disparaged her for it, he just wished she would offer to do it for him too. The fact that she was messaging him now meant something was very wrong.

He texted back to her: _[Maybe… I’m kind of stuck reading here. What’s going on? You okay?]_

He stared at his phone while the icon for Tak ticked away indicating she was spending a lot of time working on or thinking about her response. Eventually after a few seconds she responded back.

Tak:_ [I’m fine, but I got a problem.]_

“That’s vague.” Dib thought to himself. He wasn’t sure why Tak was being so ambiguous. She had mentioned to him before that her own “phone” allowed her to message him without the worry of outsiders listening in on their conversation, so they didn’t need a code language to discuss anything alien related. He had even asked her to make one for him so he didn’t have to worry about the CIA or NSA busting down his door in the middle of night for being in contact with aliens. She told him it wasn’t necessary for his phone to be off the grid as her messages wouldn’t even register on the system if she sent any to him. “Plus, we both know I’ll be the only one sending anything important.” Tak had said to him at the time, which he didn’t think was true, but knew it would be impossible to convince her otherwise. So he continued using his regular human phone the CIA was using to spy on him like everyone else on the planet. He was at least comforted knowing that her “problem” couldn’t be anything too serious because of that fact, he thought her indirectness was very out of character for her, but he had a hunch at what the reason was.

He texted back to her:_ [What kind of problem?]_

Tak:_ [You know how I get an itch in a place I can’t scratch?]_

The phrase, “An itch I can’t scratch” was practically too telling for Dib, and he was almost certain he knew exactly what her problem was. Over the years Dib had learned about the many intricacies of Irken antennas, and their particular quirks with grooming. One such oddity was that after periods of intense or prolonged stress their antennas would get extremely sore and cramped, which he assumed was caused by their muscle spasms in their antennas during those times. The soreness would eventually dissipate but the length of time it took varied from instance to instance, and it was a frequent problem Tak ran into where the soreness would last for almost days at a time if she did nothing about it. He had offered to help Tak with it once before, but she was very hesitant to let him help her the first time. Eventually he learned what way to massage and not massage, and now Tak had become almost entirely dependent on him to help her. Just to be sure though (and because he loved to tease her whenever he could get away with it) he prodded her to be a little bit more specific.

Dib replied: _[Should I lather up for your massage or are you feeling particularly royal today and want my mini-backscratcher and felt brush for your antenna?]_

Tak: _[NO! It’s not that, but I can’t talk about it.]_

_[What do you mean you can’t talk about it?]_

There was another pause between her messages until she replied: _[Because. It’s a very /personal/ area Dib.]_

Dib replied: _[Personal area?]_

Tak: _[More like every area, like all over.]_

_[It’s not what I think it is? Is it?]_

_[Yeah, it probably is. So I need you NOW!]_

Dib felt his face blushing slightly before he responded back: _[And you’re okay with it? With us going there and you yourself doing that? Or am I misreading this and all you need is just a bit more handsy kiss?]_

Tak:_ [No just a kiss is not what I need! It’s a lot more than that, but I /really/ can’t talk about it.]_

Tak has had a very difficult time dealing with anything emotional, at least for the first few times around. Their first few hugs when they started dating had been a major uphill battle for her. Even though the two of them knew she loved having them, she was always so awkward when she tried to be the initiator, or she would become embarrassed when someone else caught the two of them hugging. Half of it was due to her inhibitions she got from living under the Irken Empire about self-expression. The other half was just her negativity about feeling emotions, this was also rooted in her life in the Empire but it went much deeper than that. In the few instances that Tak had allowed herself to open up to Dib she told him that even something as simple as a hug, which she knew made her feel **_so_** good, would inspire within her a feeling of great discomfort and disgust. She told him that the disgust wasn’t in the act of hugging itself as she did enjoy it, but in the fact that she wanted the hug, and that her own feelings and desires were disgusting to her.

At the time Dib equated it to some feeling of inner shame Tak held onto for whatever reason, but looking back on it Dib found a lot of similarities to her statement and what happened to her at the arcade the other night. Tak had this problem of “feeling bad about having feelings”. Whether it’s a coping mechanism she developed from her hardships throughout her life or merely a part about living as an Irken under the Empire Dib was unsure, and he didn’t know what he could do to help her aside from supporting her in any way he could when she felt that way. He didn’t like that just being there for her was all he could do, since largely he just had to hope that Tak would be able to overcome any negative feelings she had on her own, but thankfully he knew she could. Tak had gotten very comfortable with hugging after they had been dating for a while, and eventually Tak built up the courage for them to try kissing, of course before that she had to build up the courage to **_talk_** about kissing. She was a mess the first time she ever brought it up to him, Dib wasn’t even sure what she was talking about as she couldn’t even mention kissing by name at that point, just that she wanted “A higher degree of physical closeness out of our relationship” as she had put it. He told her that he’d be ready for her to try whenever she wanted too, when that did finally happen he was caught completely off guard.

Dib thought Tak was mad at him right before their first kiss, but she must have been trying to build up her nerves. Tak had mentioned having a similar problem to the one in her text message, that a feeling was coursing through all of her body. Dib had remembered Tak saying that it felt like she wanted to completely envelop him, or have Dib envelop her. He had even started to get a little handsy with her and lifted up the back end of her shirt, but Mimi interrupted them with a bite to his hand before he could have gone any further. He wasn’t as angry at Mimi as Tak was at the time, but later he thought it was probably best Mimi stopped them then, as it would have made things more awkward for them after the fact.

It still was very awkward. For a while they didn’t kiss or even hug after their first kiss, part of it was Dib’s own realization that things were different now with him and Tak, and a lot of it was just Tak being Tak. Eventually they found each other’s comfort zone, and now they kiss each other regularly in varying degrees of intensity. Tak had even become the primary initiator of their kisses most of time, which Dib attributed to Tak’s emotional and physical-contact starvation.

All of this, and the text messages they had been sending to each other, led Dib to believe Tak was now asking for a closer level of physical intimacy between them. While Dib was excited for this he was also very embarrassed and unsure of himself, and was beat red as he typed:

_[Can’t you wait until after Skool for this?]_

_Tak: [NO I CAN’T WAIT! I NEED YOU NOW DIB!]_

“Shit Tak. Calm down a bit jeez.” Dib bit his lips as he whispered to himself. He knew Tak was starved for physical touch but this seemed extravagant to him. He still had some level of excitement over this new prospect, but the urgency with which Tak was treating it was giving him anxiety. Tak could already be a handful for him at times, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready to see her be as needy as she seemed now. So subconsciously, or perhaps purposely, he tried to weasel out of seeing her for the time being.

Dib:_ [Like now now?]_

Tak: _[Like I need you right NOW to come help me with it NOW!]_

_[But I’m stuck in class?]_

_[Then get out of class and come help me! I’m in the supply closet by my class. Don’t keep me waiting!]_

Dib whispered another profanity to himself, but his school-boy arousal and alien fascination won out against his anxiety and trepidation. So in an odd combination of reluctance and eagerness he texted back to her:

_[Okay. I’ll be there as soon as I can.]_

Tak: _[Good. Knock on the door when you get here and I’ll unlock it for you.]_

With that their text messaging ended, and instead of getting up and immediately asking the professor to be excused Dib was hunched over his desk and looked down at his phone. “Are we really going to do it in the Skool broom closet? Should I grab something? Do I even need to?” Dib thought to himself as other more vivid thoughts raced through his mind that may have strayed a bit far from reality. He knew he did want to be on that level of intimacy with Tak eventually, he would be lying if he said he never once thought about it, but he was questioning if he was ready for it, and if Tak was ready for it. She definitely seemed sure of herself now but what would she be feeling next week, tomorrow, or even an hour from now? Would he find her locked up in her lab trying to create something to suppress everything all because she couldn’t handle how she felt? All of this was swirling around in his head, until something pulled him back to reality.

“Dib? Dib Membrane?” the professor all but yelled to Dib. He jumped up out of his seat at the sound of his name and dropped his phone out of his lap without noticing. He looked up to his professor who said, “Did you finally fall asleep on us?”

Dib was completely dumbfounded and embarrassed from both his situation with Tak and from being caught unawares in class, the entirety of which was now staring at him. He knew there was no way for any of them to know what he had been thinking, but he was caught like a deer in headlights from all of the class’s eyes being on him. Knowing not what else to say he opened his mouth and said, “Could I uh…be excused?” and almost immediately regret saying it as a few of his classmates chuckled in response.

The professor looked at him disappointed, “It’s a bit late for that now Dib, we’re waiting on you to read your lines. And didn’t you go to the bathroom at the beginning of class?”

“No that was for… something else. Now I have to use the bathroom.”

His professor sighed, “Finish reading this act, and then you may be excused. Don’t take too long this time.”

Either he was getting annoyed with him and just wanted Dib out of the class, or the class’s un-enthusiasm was beginning to rub off on him and he didn’t care. Dib thanked him and looked down on his book, hoping to get done with his lines as quickly as possible and see Tak. He looked down on his book but he didn’t see any lines for his character and flipped a few pages trying to find them. His professor saw him flipping through pages and said to Dib:

“We’re on line 1170 Dib. Lafeu has just left the stage leaving Parolles on when Bertram enters. Did you find your place?”

“Yes I did.” Said Dib.

“Good, you can start when you’re ready.”

Dib read his lines, with a bit more bounce than before, “Undone, and forfeited to cares forever!”

To which Keef replied with much ado, “What's the matter, sweet-heart?”

“Although before the solemn priest I have sworn, I will not bed her.”

* * *

Dib wandered through the halls of High Skool’s science department. Tak’s current class was anatomy at room S129, and there was only one supply closet a few doors down from it, which Dib assumed Tak was in. He felt lead in the pit of his stomach as he walked towards it. He was going over in his head whether he wanted to just go with whatever Tak wanted and sort out any mess that it makes later, or sit down and talk with Tak about their relationship and how she was feeling. He hadn’t even come close to making a decision when he made it to the supply closet, he tried the door but it was locked. He waited a moment for Tak to unlock it but she never came. He was about to start looking for another closet or text message Tak to ask her what room she was in when he remembered she had asked him to knock. Not knowing what else to do and still hesitant about meeting up with her, he leaned against the wall next to the door and knocked on it.

“Tak, you in there? It’s me.” He said trying to sound calm. He heard the door unlock and open a crack, he tried to see what was inside but the lights were off.

“Dib?” Tak’s voice said meekly.

“Yup. It’s me.” Dib said rubbing the back of his head, trying to force himself to be energetic. He went for the doorknob and began opening it, but before he could move it another centimeter the door slammed shut and Tak screamed out, “Wait!”

Dib jumped out of his skin at Tak’s action and screamed back to her, “What!?” He wasn’t as loud, but he was much more annoyed. After a second the door reopened a crack and Dib heard Tak say,

“The other night, when we were at the arcade? I was feeling bad so you got me a stuffed turtle to make up for it. What color was it?”

Dib didn’t hide his confusion as he spoke, “I didn’t get you a turtle. I got you a mongoose. And it was brown, I’m pretty sure. Why-?” Before he could finish speaking the door opened just enough to let him squeeze in as a gloved three fingered hand grabbed him by his shirt and pulled him inside. Tak threw him into the wall as she pulled him in with one hand and closed the door behind them. She heard him bang against a shelf and grunt in pain in the unlit room.

“I’m sorry.” Tak began in between quickened breathe, “I should have told you a password for you to use when you got here but I wasn’t thinking and panicked when you tried to open the door.” Her breathing subsided a bit as she continued but it was still laced with stress, “But that’s okay. You’re here now. So now you can help me fix this.”

“Yeah, and uh Tak, about that…” Dib started sheepishly while rubbing his side that hit into the shelf, “I know I said I’d help you and all, but don’t you think maybe we ought to think about this?” Tak then grabbed onto the front of Dib’s shirt, and wouldn’t let go.

“What do you mean think about? There’s nothing to think about! You said you’d help me! You have to help me! You can’t leave me like this!” Tak spoke quickly in a hoarse whisper, with a touch of desperation and betrayal in her voice.

“I mean yeah, and I am. It’s just…aren’t we kind of -you know- going through this kind of quickly?” Dib stammered out as he was trying to put his own conflicted feelings into words. He was thankful the lights weren’t on in the closet so Tak couldn’t see him blush.

“Quickly? Yes, that’s how I want it! Help me fix this mess now, then we’ll worry about how it happened later.” Tak’s voice was racing as she spoke, and she sounded like a convict bargaining on death row. Her face was close to Dib’s and he could feel her breathe on his face.

“But I don’t think quickly is what you need right now.” Dib pleaded with her.

“What makes you think you know what I need better than I do? I know what the problem is Dib! I just need another set of hands.” Tak’s concern in her voice transformed as she spoke, turning into frustration and anger. She began to shake him as she spoke, “If you won’t help me then-Then I’ll get somebody else who will! Gaz! She’ll help me! I’ll get Gaz!”

“Gaz!?” Dib said absolutely thunderstruck, “But isn’t she-aren’t you-aren’t we-”

“Friends?” Tak interrupted him while he rambled. She stopped shaking him, but held onto him tightly with their faces close to each other’s. She spoke with deep contempt in her voice, “I thought so too Dib. But friends help each other when they’re in need. And if you don’t want to do that, then I guess we’re not friends anymore!”

Tak said this with such ferocity and desperation in her voice that Dib didn’t know how to process it. His mind raced over everything Tak told him and then he said, “I-I mean I… Aww fuck it.” Dib decided whatever hesitation about being intimate with Tak he was feeling earlier he wasn’t feeling now. Since Tak was being so persistent, and very clearly stressed beyond belief, he thought it was best to appease her at least partially and then work out whatever problems she was going through when she calmed down a bit. He brought his mouth to hers and began kissing, but was surprised when she didn’t kiss back, and speechless when Tak pushed him off of her.

“What on Irk do you think you’re doing?!” Tak yelled back to him.

“What, you called me here for?” Dib said slowly, and confused.

“I didn’t call you here for **_that_**_! _I told you this wasn’t for a make-out secession!” Tak said infuriated, and from the tone of her voice Dib could tell she wasn’t here for what he thought she was.

Still confused he said, “It wasn’t-Then what did you call me here for?”

Tak fumbled around in the dark for the string connect to the lightbulb. After she pulled it Dib could make out all of the items in the cramped closet. It had shelves of cleaning supplies, a mop, a dirty sink, a broken mirror, and Tak without her disguise on and an angry look on her face.

She pointed to herself and said, “This is the reason I called you here for!”

Dib just stared at her without her disguise on in the supply closet for a second, still confused at what exactly was the problem. Then suddenly he grasped what was going on and almost yelled as he blurted out his realization,

“Your disguise isn’t working!”

“Yes! That’s what I was trying to tell you! What did you think I was talking about?” Tak raised her hands into fists as she spoke to him.

Dib wasn’t sure how to tell her, or if now was the best time to do so, or if he even wanted to admit what he thought she was talking about. He fumbled through his words as he tried to decide while he spoke, “I mean uh…the way you were saying it…it made it sound like…like…Why didn’t you just text me that your disguise wasn’t working?”

“Why do you think?” Tak shriek out, “My equipment doesn’t just stop working for no reason Dib. _Someone _or_ something _has sabotaged me. One second I’m sitting in class, minding my own business, the next my disguise is malfunctioning, and now it won’t even turn back on along with anything else.”

“Wait, but even if you think someone managed to compromise your disguise why not just text me that’s what happened? Didn’t you tell me before your phone’s off the grid?”

“Dib, if they can hack into my system remotely and deactivate it, they can definitely pick up any message I send through a modified earth phone!” She yelled back at him.

“Did anyone see you without your disguise on?” Dib said looking towards the door, his own set of paranoia setting in. He didn’t think the faculty had a policy for aliens on Skool property, but considering he once had to spend the night in quarantine at the Elementary Skool for a lice infection he wouldn’t put it past them.

“I don’t know.” Tak said nervously, “Someone definitely saw my disguise glitching out before I was able to excuse myself. I was going to the bathroom to try and fix it but it crashed on me as soon as I stepped out of class. I ducked in here to save myself and now I’m too scared to leave in case they catch me.”

“But what about your cloaking device, or Mimi?”

“Didn’t you hear me Dib? They got everything!” She yelled at him and then hunched over, sounding like she was on the verge of crying as she finished, “I can’t even use my communicator to get in touch with Mimi.”

“But then how did you text me?”

“My phone is not the same as my communicator Dib! But it doesn’t matter.” Tak stepped away from him as she spoke and turned towards the wall, “She’s as good as dead out there, we both are.”

“Tak relax, we can fix this.” Dib said approaching her. He tried to reassure her by placing a hand on her shoulder.

“No Dib you don’t get.” She swiped Dib’s hand off of her and said, completely hopeless, “Mimi’s disguise is broken too, and I haven’t heard from her since I messaged you, not even static.” Her voice changed as she went on, going from hopeless to a full panic, “That means she’s out there with her parts strewn out over this ugly planet, or she’s been captured by whoever’s after me, and then they’re going to break her apart and cannibalize her for scraps. Then they’re going to find me and cut me open on a dissecting table, and put my organs in glass jars for me to look at while I’m still awake, or they’ll torture me until I tell them everything I know, and then they’ll lobotomize me or my pack and barely keep me alive so I can just do what they tell me to- and then- and then…”

Tak ended her monologue with a string of profanities as she clutched both of her antennas in her hands. Her voice and breathing accelerated as she went on, to the point where she was hyperventilating. Seeing this Dib immediately grabbed Tak in a tight hug and tried to calm her down with words of reassurance and an attempted plea for her to try to slow down. He tried breathing slowly and told her to focus on his breathe but it seemed to do little for her as she wasn’t able to match his. She tried to match his pace but all that did was put her into a cough, and Dib wasn’t sure but it sounded like Tak was crying in his arms. He tried to assist in massaging her antennas, and shushed to her as she leaned into him. That ended up working and the two of them stayed that way for a moment. Tak leaning into Dib in a deep hug while he massage an antenna with his free hand. Finally, after how long neither of them where sure, Tak had managed calmed down.

“Okay.” Said Dib still hugging her, “I think now’s a good time for me to take a look at your system and see what I can do to help.”

“What makes you think that you can fix it when I can’t?” Tak said angrily as she brought her head up to look at him.

“What reason did you call me here for if you didn’t want me to help?” Dib asked, not angry just confused.

“I…” Tak started as the anger faded from her eyes. That was the reason she called him over, but her mind was a mess from everything and she was so very confused. She brought her head to his chest and look down from his face as she brought her left arm up to it. On it just below her wrist was what looked like a touch screen about the size of a fist.

Dib activated the interface and said optimistically, “Alright, so what’s causing the problem?” He was trying to sound positive to help Tak’s mood.

“Don’t know.” Tak said flatly, her voice muffled by Dib’s chest.

“I thought you said you knew how to fix this but needed help?” Dib said looking down at Tak surprised.

Without looking up and her voice still muffled she said, “I panicked when you said you weren’t going to help me and said that to try to get you to stay.”

Dib didn’t say anything else to Tak after her explanation. He wasn’t sure what he could do that Tak couldn’t to try and fix it but he figured having a second, and calmer, set of eyes inspect it couldn’t hurt. It wasn’t his first time handling Irken technology, or even his first time handling Tak’s, but it was his fist time handling anything recent of hers with as much free reign as he had now. He was perplexed by how closely the Irken operating system, and Irken technology in general, match Earth’s. The first time he realized it the fact went completely over his head as a twelve year old; though to his credit he was also just concerned with escaping Zim’s trap alive at the time. Tak’s system wasn’t completely offline, but all of her systems reported a fatal error and could not operate. He attempted to diagnose what was wrong with it and troubleshoot but to no avail. He folded his hands on attempting to fix the problem, but from what he could tell it at least didn’t look like a malicious attack which comforted him a little bit.

He didn’t say anything to Tak after he was done looking at her system, but Tak took her arm in her other while she inspected it and responded, “I don’t know what I was thinking when I called you here to help. Like I said, I panicked and called you over without thinking.” When she was done talking another look of hopelessness washed over her face.

“Hey we’re not done yet, there’s still more we can try.” Dib said trying to bolster her spirits.

“And what exactly do you plan on trying?” Tak said arguing for her own defeat.

“Well” Dib began, dreading the argument he knew his suggestion would start, “We could ask Zim for help.”

Dib was surprised that Tak didn’t immediately berate him for even **_thinking _**about asking Zim for help. Not too surprisingly, she crossed her arms and responded, “I think I’d rather go to the dissecting table then to him.”

Dib didn’t say anything to her statement but looked at her exasperated beyond belief. Tak didn’t respond to his grimace, but she softened her own as she looked at him. She knew herself that she would rather ask help from Zim than go to the dissecting table, but she could never admit that. Dib was about to open his mouth to say something when he was interrupted by the Skool Bell for the next class, which earned a slight wince from Tak.

“That’s the bell for the next class! I’ll text Zim and tell him to meet us here.” He reached for his pants pocket where he kept his phone but Tak grabbed his hands before he could.

“No, don’t call him! He’s probably the one who caused this.”

“What reason, what benefit, would Zim have in turning you in? If they find one Irken they’d be crazy to think there’s only one.” Dib thought this was a unprecedented level of paranoia against Zim for Tak, but he thought it must be the stress of the situation that was getting to her.

“I don’t know but I wouldn’t put it past him. He’s the only one here who has the means to break my system, and even if he didn’t, messaging him would draw too much attention to us. I already think it was a bad idea for me to text you on my phone if they got everything else.”

“But Tak when I looked at your stuff it didn’t look like it was from an attack, just a system failure.”

“But that’s exactly what someone who knows what they’re doing would make it look like! We can’t take any chances in using anything that can be traced.”

“If that’s the case then I’ll go get him myself.” Dib said confidently.

“No! You can’t leave me here!” Tak pleaded again before she softened her demeanor and squeezed his hands tightly, “Please don’t go.”

“But what else are we going to do?” Dib asked her, but she couldn’t meet his eyes. He turned her face to his and raised their hands together as he said, “I’m going to get Zim. Lock the door and keep the light off until I get back. The password will be ‘mongoose’, don’t open it for anyone unless they use it.” He let go of Tak’s hand and went for the door but Tak was still pleading with him not to leave. Dib said, “Text me if anything happens, I won’t keep you waiting.” He made sure to only open the door enough to let himself out and closed it shut behind him as he went to find Zim.

The other students had already made it to their classes so the halls were empty. Dib remembered he left his backpack in English class, but he hoped someone would turn it in to the office so he could get it back later, as he had more pressing matters. The walk to his Chemistry class wasn’t too far as it was still within the science department of Skool. He was sure Tak’s malfunction wasn’t caused by outside forces, but he still founded himself scanning the halls for anything suspicious in case Tak and Zim were both targets. He made it to his Chemistry class without incident and looked inside, the professor was writing the lab’s agenda for the day, and a few of the students took this time to either goof off or prepare in advanced. He scanned the room and found Zim at their usual station with his disguise working fine, so if it was an attack Zim was not a target as well. A few years back when Zim’s and Tak’s banishment was made official Tak insisted (really forced) Zim to dump his old wig and contact lens disguise in favor of her hard-light hologram. Barely anyone questioned when Zim came in to Skool one day wearing normal clothes, not green, and not missing ears, and the ones who did were satisfied with the explanation that Zim’s skin infection got better. His disguise gave him a pink sweat-shirt with red jeans and a backpack where his pak would be, he had a few prefabricated outfits he cycled through but he never went overboard with it. As opposed to Tak who seemed to have an entire virtual wardrobe of clothes she went through each day. Now he was wearing lab goggles and delicately attending to the inert chemicals they were working with today.

Dib approached him and said as casually as possible, “Hey Zim, got a sec?”

Upon hearing this Zim jumped up from shock and responded, “AAAh! Dib do you mind? I’m trying to secure these chemicals so they don’t melt our faces off!”

“It’s vinegar Zim. It’s not going to melt anything.” Dib had always been surprised the lengths Zim went to in the lab, whether at Skool or his real one. He always dotted his I’s and crossed his T’s when following lab procedure no matter how redundant it was. Unless he was in one of his creative moods, in which case he threw all caution to the wind. Dib guessed his time as a technician on Vort must have imprinted on him a real sense for the laboratory, and he thought Zim and his father would get along great in the lab if they were ever able too openly discuss it.

Zim removed his chemistry goggles from his face and said annoyed, “Well sure, it might not melt _your _face off Dib but after the incident with the raw sewage last week I’m not taking any chances.”

“Oh yeah.” Dib laughed, earning a glare from Zim, “I almost forgot about that. Did you ever get that mark off your arm where the sewage hit?”

“Eventually. After a week of nightly salt baths and chemical cleanings.” Zim Shuddered, “It still smells like filth. How do you and Gaz survive on this stink planet?”

Dib shrugged, “It’s just a part of life here. Plus having our own filter system courtesy of our dad means we only really deal with it outside the house, which is okay I guess.” Dib got close enough to Zim after saying this so he could whisper to him. “Do you think we could hold off on Chemistry until we fix something?”

“I didn’t break anything.” Zim said aloud, not bothering to whisper.

Dib cringed at Zim’s abrasiveness, and still whispering to him said, “I know you didn’t, Tak did.”

Zim asked relieved, “Oh. What did she break?”

“It’s her…” Dib started to say, but looked around the room and thought it’d be better to be discreet. He brought his forearm up and tapped on it with his other hand, mimicking a keyboard.

“Wrist?” Zim asked confused.

“Her disguised.” Dib whispered flatly, he could be there all class playing charades until Zim got it.

“Oh. Tell her to fix it then.” Zim said dismissively as he waved Dib away while taking a seat at the counter. Dib took a seat next to him and continued whispering,

“She can’t fix it, we need help.”

“So she wants my help?” Zim said skeptically, whispering now.

“Well…she says she doesn’t, but you know her. I at least want your help.”

Zim looked away from Dib with his head resting in the fold of his arms on the counter. He tapped his fingers, thinking about what he wanted to do but didn’t say anything. Finally Dib asked, “Your disguise hasn’t had any problems at all, has it?”

Zim replied annoyed, “I would have told you if that was the case. What’s even wrong with it that she can’t fix it?”

“We don’t know. But it’s not just her disguise, it’s her whole system. Tak thinks it’s an outside attack, but I thought it just looked like a system error.”

“It could be a disguised attack.” Zim said looking up from his arms intrigued.

“Tak said the same thing, but she also said you could’ve caused it.”

“She thinks I did it?” Zim whispered shrilly, still not lifting his head off the counter.

“No, but even I can’t think of anyone who’d know how to attack it, besides you.”

Zim growled and Dib replied hastily, “I know you didn’t do it. But what could have made it just stop working?”

“Weirder things have happened to us before.” Zim groaned out.

“Or we’ve been the weirder things. You’ll help us?”

Zim sighed, “Chemistry sucks anyway.”

The two of them excused themselves from class and made their way to the closet Tak was cooped up in. When they got to it Zim tried the handle and was annoyed when he found it locked and shook it violently. Dib calmed him down and apologized for not telling him the password. He knocked on the door and cleared his throat before he said, “Mongoose” and then they heard the door unlock. Dib opened it just enough to let himself inside, then Zim opened it almost completely as he let himself in. Tak berated him,

“What are you doing Zim? Do you want people to see me like this?”

Zim said, “What could they possibly see? I couldn’t see anything in here with the door open, let alone now.” Zim squinted in the dark but no one could see him do so. Tak replied with pulling the string connected to the light, illuminating the closet along with everyone in it.

Zim saw her without her disguise and said jokingly, “Wow Tak. You know I always thought you wouldn’t be caught dead without your disguise on in public.”

She replied hostile, “If you caused this, I swear to Irk I’ll-”

“I didn’t, okay.” Zim replied irritated, “Even Dib thinks so, and he’s the ones with all the crazy constipation theorems.”

“Conspiracy theories.” Dib said placing a hand over his face, exhausted by the two of them.

“Whatever.” Zim said “Let’s just finish this up so we can all go out tonight.”

Tak extended her left arm out to him, “Fix it.” She commanded curtly.

“A simple ‘please’ would be nice.”

“_Please _fix it.” Tak said, her tone unchanged.

“Like you mean it.” Zim said playfully.

“I’ll show you what I mean you little shit!” Tak said advancing toward him, but Dib stepped in preventing her.

“Tak-Zim. Come on. We’re supposed to be working together here.” Dib said to the two of them while he wondered if the CIA knowing about Tak would be worse than whatever they would do to each other if left alone.

“I am helping!” Zim said offended, “But is it too much to ask for a little ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ for all the bullshit Tak’s given me over the years?”

“It’s going to be a lot more than some Earth shit exploding all over you if I ever make it out of here alive!”

“That was you!” Zim said furious as he turned from Tak to Dib, “Did you know about this?”

“I-I mean I didn’t _know_.” Dib said trying to play innocent. He didn’t know what exactly caused the raw sewage incident last week but he did have his suspicions.

“In that case I want an apology too before I help.” Zim said.

“Right after you apologize for causing that blackout on Devastis!” said Tak.

“Not like I’ve never said that before but sure. Sorry I caused that blackout that made you miss your test.”

“Now apologize for ruining my life!”

“I did not ruin your life. Or if I did I’m not the only one, your life would have sucked without me or not.”

“I would not be stuck on this miserable dirt ball of a planet if it wasn’t for you!”

“Yeah but you’d be stuck somewhere. We both know why.”

“DON’T YOU DARE EVEN SUGGEST THAT YOU MISERABLE LITTLE-!” Tak was about to mention the unutterable, but was interrupted when Dib stepped between them again.

He said, “TAK-ZIM! Both of you shut up! You’ve both been through shit and a whole hell of a lot has happened to you in the past six years. You both came here to destroy Earth, then got banished here together, then I thought you two got better with each other after you gave up on conquering and just set on living. You’re both a far cry from Irk now and a few things have come and gone here. From you both getting taller for whatever reason, to the us all becoming friends, and to Skoodge coming and leaving.”

“And Mini-Moose.” Zim said, sadness in his voice.

“Yeah. Mini-Moose too.” Dib said a bit gentler than he had been speaking. He often forgot how much Mini-Moose meant to Zim, he was almost as close to him as Gir was. Dib continued, “The point is that if we’re all going to live here without killing each other or letting other people do that for us we got to start working together.” Everyone was silent for a moment as they reflected on what Dib said. Zim was the one who broke the silence he said,

“I still want Tak to ask me nicely to help.”

“You’re not getting anything-” Tak started to get angry again but Dib grabbed onto her and said between his teeth,

“Tak. Just let him have this.”

She shoved Dib’s hand off of her but seemed to resign to Zim’s request. After a brief pause she said, “_Please _Zim… Please help me fix my disguise so I can go home and not end up on the dissecting table.”

Zim nodded in affirmation and said gently, “Okay. Okay was that so hard?”

Tak only groaned and gave him her left arm to examine her device. Zim navigated through her interface and brought it to what resembled a BIOS. After looking it over briefly he said, “Geeze Tak. What did you do to this thing anyway?”

“Nothing. Like I told Dib: one minute I’m sitting in class perfectly normal, the next my disguise starts acting up, and now nothing on it works.”

“Where’s Mimi?” Zim asked, some concern in his voice.

“Radio silence.” Tak said emotionlessly.

Zim was still looking over her device quietly after she spoke, and after a moment he said, “If she doesn’t turn up by the end of the day I’ll send Gir out to find her.”

After a pause Tak genuinely said, “Thank you” and it last thing any of them said for a while. Zim continued looking through her system’s BIOS and after exhausting any solutions through it brought out his tools from his backpack which included a pair of magnifying goggles and some electrical probes. He opened up her device without request, and the three of them stayed in the closet in silence while he toiled away at it. Dib watched Zim work his alien tools on the device, he hadn’t removed his disguise the whole time they were in the closet and was surprised by the lengths Tak went for them. Irkens only had three fingers, but he wouldn’t have known that just by looking at Zim’s hands as he worked, as the extra two digits seemed to flow perfectly into whatever finer work he was doing and they never seemed to blend into one of his other fingers like he would have expected. After a fair amount of time Zim finished whatever work he did to Tak’s device, and after putting it back together tried to boot it up. The three of them saw Tak’s human disguise show up briefly and then fade away into distortion as it completely destabilized and collapsed. After seeing this Zim turned to Dib and pointed behind him to Tak with his thumb as he said,

“Shit’s fucking broken.”

“We know it’s broken.” Tak said, her annoyance returning, “How do we fix it?”

Zim shrugged and said, “Don’t know, it could be anything from hardware to a coding issue. I’d have to take the whole thing apart in my lab and analyze everything before I’d find out what the exact cause was.”

Tak brought her hand to her head as she groaned, “Augh, useless! Why did we even call you here? I already knew that.”

“Relax Tak, it’s not the end of the world.” Said Zim.

“Maybe for you it’s not, you’re not the one with an alien hunter on your ass!”

“I actually don’t think it’s that. Nothing about your system seems out of the ordinary, apart from not working anyway.”

“If it’s not someone messing with my system then what? What could possibly be causing my system to just fail suddenly?”

Zim shrugged again, “It could be sun spots.”

Tak gawked and struggled to find words before she said, “Irken technology does not fail because of sun spots on planet with a hair thin O-Zone layer.”

“That’s what the Empire wants you to think Tak, our stuffs good but it’s far from perfect. All it takes is one rouge gamma ray to pass through imperfect plating and change a zero to a one or vice versa and your whole system collapses. I’ve seen it a hundred times when I was a technician on Vort.”

“You’ve seen this before? This exact thing?” Tak said with a mixture of skepticism and optimism.

“Well…” Zim dragged on, “When I say a hundred times it’s really only once or twice. We ran into this problem where a computer we were using had a complete system failure for no discernible reason. I suggested it was rogue gamma rays but no one believed me at the time, and we never figured out what the problem was.”

Dib chimed into conversation, “That sounds more like Vortians purposely sabotaging the Empire’s work than sun spots Zim.”

Zim said, “No, the Empire was working together with the Vortians at the time as a collaborative. Tallest Spork was the one who brought us to war, and eventually enslaved them, which was a policy Red and Purple maintained.”

“That still doesn’t apply to me. My device is not made by obdurate Vortians.”

“Doesn’t matter.” Zim said in sing-song and then continued normally, “Like I said that was a problem even before they started making bad stuff for us. And your tech isn’t much better than the Empire’s.”

“I know it’s not, it’s vastly superior.” Tak said proudly.

“Sure, once you get past all your coding redundancies.” Zim said.

“Redundancy? You’re one to talk. How many times have you tried fitting a square peg into a round hole before you broke something?”

“Guys!” Dib groaned to the two of them.

Tak shook her head back and forth as she said frustrated, “Alright, alright fine. It’s sun spots. Great! What am I going to do then? It’s not like I can just leave School grounds as an alien!”

“Well that’s the real reason you called me here then isn’t it?” Zim said proudly as he reached into his backpack again, “You always know I’ll pull through for you.” He pulled out a pair of blue eyed contact lens and a long mangy black wig as he finished speaking and presented it to the two of them.

“No. No, no, no. No.” Tak started, “I am not wearing one of your greasy wigs and old pair of contacts.”

“Do you prefer losing your organs on the dissecting table or your pride?” Zim taunted.

“This has nothing to do with pride Zim. They’re not going to be fooled by this.” She said pointing to the items in Zim’s hands.

“I don’t know Tak.” Said Dib with regret while rubbing the side of his arm, “I…Think it might work.”

“Maybe for Zim it might. But my disguise was flawless when I first came here.”

“Tak, your skin color was an off shade of green and you had only three fingers when first you came here.” Dib said peeved.

“My knowledge of human anatomy was a bit incomplete at the time, but I’ve seen students at our school with twice that amount of digits on their hands. I could’ve been one with only three. _And _need I remind you that it fooled everyone on this planet.”

“Yeah and so did mine.” Zim said shaking his wig and contacts in front of Tak.

“I am not wearing that.” Tak said pushing it away.

“You got a better idea?” Zim said as he pushed it back.

Tak groaned and grabbed both of her antennas as she dragged her hands across them towards the back of her head. “Give me that!” She said as she snatched the disguise out of Zim’s hands. She went over to the mirror and put on the wig, trying hard to hide her antennas underneath it. She looked at the inside of the contact lens and gaged before she turned on the faucet to wash them. Before she put them under the water Zim let out a concerned moan, he tried the same thing a long time ago and it had very negative effects. “Right, not the lab, bad idea.” Tak said as she shut off the faucet. She tried scrubbing the inside of the lens with the back of her sleeve and spit on it to clean it better.

“Hey, I’ll want those back.” Zim said concerned.

“Then you can clean them when you get them back.” Tak said discomforted, “Why do you even have this stuff?”

“You know Tak I wouldn’t expect you to understand style.”

Tak scoffed at Zim’s remark as she continued getting the rest of the disguise on. She opened her lid with her opposite hand as she guided the lens over her eye. It took her a few attempts and her eye got puffy and teary until she was able to fit the first one in. She blinked a few times as she adjusted to the feeling of it, then she put in the second one which went a bit better than the first. After she finished she starred at herself in the mirror while adjusting her hair and then she said, “This isn’t going to work.”

“We already told you it will.” Zim said unconcerned.

“No it won’t, I’m green!” Tak said turning around to both of them. “I can hide that I don’t have ears under my hair but there’s no way they won’t notice anything.” She nervously adjusted her hair as she said this, trying to hide the tube connected to her head.

“I think you’ll be fine Tak.” Dib started to say, “I mean I tried to expose Zim for years but nobody noticed anything. And they didn’t even care when he walked into Skool one day without a skin infection.”

“But just look at me!” She said pointing to herself, “Everything about me screams alien!”

“What’s your great idea to get you out of here, huh? I’d love to hear it.” Zim said sick of Tak’s nervousness.

“Maybe…” She fumbled around with her hair and hands as she started, “Maybe we can wait until tonight for the school to close to sneak me out.”

“Oh! Should I get a laundry cart to smuggle you out of here too?” Zim said mockingly.

“That might work.” Tak said, she was so tense she didn’t even notice Zim’s sarcasm.

“With the Skool’s night watch? No thanks, I don’t want to get shot.” Zim said leaving, “You and Dib can mess around in the closet all night if you want but I’m going home. And I’m taking my wig back, you can keep the contacts.” He said while snatching the wig off Tak’s head, she grabbed onto it as he pulled it away and the two of them were in a grapple while they shouted at each other.

“No I’m keeping this!” Said Tak.

“What for? You said it’s not going to work.” Said Zim.

“It’s better than nothing!”

“Careful! You’re going to tear it!”

“Guys! Both of you stop!” Dib said watching them, not sure what to do.

“If you want it so badly then take it!” Zim said as he let go of the wig and pushed Tak away from him with his foot. While the two of them were in a grapple they spun around the closet and Tak ended up crashing into the door as she went back. She had managed to place the wig back on her head but the door wasn’t closed properly which caused her to open it as she landed out in the middle of the hallway. From inside the closet out of view Dib and Zim heard a shrill scream from someone other than Tak outside. They looked at each other for a second as they shared a look of shock and concern before they both ran to the entrance. Outside was Tak hunched in hiding and Zita standing over her catching her breath, papers and books were scattered on the floor around them. Zita had her hand over her chest and said in between breathes,

“Oh…Tak.”

Tak looked up to her unsure of what to say and how she recognized her, “Y-yeah…?” was all she said.

Still puffing for breath Zita said, “Sorry, you came out of now where.” She bent down reaching for her papers but stopped midway to examine her. “Hey Tak, did you do something with your hair?”

“Uh…” Tak said as she looked to the side and spied her antenna sticking out past her wig. She tucked it in hastily without saying anything else.

“Did you get hair extensions? And your hair’s black. Is this your natural hair color!?” She ended he statement thrilled.

“Uh, yeah.” Tak said, still barely making eye contact with Zita.

“It looks really good on you!” She finished picking up one of her papers and straightened up, looking to the closet where Tak came out of with Dib and Zim still in the doorway looking at them. “Uh…What where the three of you doing in the closet?” Zita said, some concern in her voice.

“None of your business.” Zim said rudely as he came out of the closet and carelessly picked up a pile of the papers on the ground. “Here, you dropped this.” He said pushing the pile into Zita’s hand.

“Alright, asshole.” Zita said, trying to catch the papers but most of them fell out of her hands again. Dib came out and helped pick up the papers.

“What are you even doing here? Class isn’t out yet.” Zim said dubiously to her while raising an eyebrow.

“Well it’s none of _your _business Zim!” She said to his face while taking the papers handed back to her by Dib. “But I have an appointment today so my professor let me out early.”

“Finally getting your brain examined so you can stop losing your house keys?” Zim said.

“More like you’re getting your head checked so you can stop being a freak.” Zita said back to him.

Zim pointed to her and said, “Watch it.”

“You watch it. I liked you better when you were green.”

“And I liked when you stopped talking, but we can’t get everything. You have your papers, go to your doctor’s appointment.” Zim said as he picked up the rest and pushed Zita along.

Zita pushed him back and started going, “Alright asshole I’m going. Bye Tak, see you Monday in English class! Be careful with the freaks over the weekend.” She said back to them while waving to Tak who was hardly looking up at her.

“Yeah you watch yourself. Bye, bye now.” Zim waved her away and looked to Dib and Tak. Before he could say anything else the Skool bell rang for the end of the day and all the students poured out the classrooms. Tak froze into place as the hall filled with students making their way. People brushed up against her and told her to watch where she was going and all she did was meekly standby and apologize quietly. They were doing the same to Zim who boldly told them to watch where they were going themselves, thankfully nothing happened and the sea of people brushed past them without incident. After the students left the hallway Tak’s anatomy professor came out of his classroom and addressed each of them by name. He said Dib’s, then Zim’s, and then stared for a moment as he addressed Tak, but he was staring in disappointment as opposed to some sense of suspicion. He then left the three of them in the hallway without saying anything further and when he was out of line of sight Tak raised her head, Dib could see total disbelief wash across her face.

She went a bit ahead of the group and raised he arms in exasperation as she said, “You have got to be fucking kidding me!”

“Told you it would work.” Zim said flatly as he pulled out his phone from his pocket and began texting on it.

“But I’m green. I have three fingers. I’m wearing an outfit I’ve never worn before!” Tak said as she turned around to look at them.

“You really think the last one should be a sign you’re an alien?” Dib said confused.

“Zita noticed that I had a different hair style, but not that my skin was green, or that my eyes are just giant contacts, or that they’re the wrong color!” Tak said still completely stunned.

“You know Tak, last time I checked humans don’t have purple eyes.” Zim said still not looking up from his phone.

“They’re not purple they’re violet! And they do too. Elizabeth Taylor had them and so did Helen Rivers from I Know What You Did Last Summer.” Tak said with her arms crossed.

Zim looked up from his phone and said to Tak, “You know when you put it that way it sounds like your disguise is just some edgy OC I’d see on the internet.”

“It is not! And what are you doing on your phone?”

“Texting Gir. Also in case you were wondering I was being an ass to Zita so she didn’t pay attention to you. Thought I’d tell you cause you know, she’s your friend or whatever.” Zim said as he finished typing. “Are we done here yet?”

Tak didn’t say anything but a look of concern came over her face again. Dib walked up to her and grabbed her hand and said, “Come on, we’ll be fine. Let’s go find Mimi.” This seemed to calm Tak, and at mention of Mimi she found a new purpose. So the three of them, with Tak holding tight onto Dib’s hand out of nervousness, made their way out of the High Skool. When they got outside they heard the soft sound of a cat mewing from the bushes along the side of the building.

Tak gasped, “Mimi!” She let go of Dib’s hand and ran to the bush were the sound came from and said softly, “Mimi, Where are you? Tak’s here.”

Dib and Zim ran around to where she was looking into the bushes and saw Mimi without her disguise on hiding in the bushes still acting like a cat. She mewed again to Tak who said, “Oh Mimi, you poor thing.” She then petted her as she mewed. “What happened? Did you see anyone?” Mimi mewed again, “You didn’t see anyone? Nothing at all?” She mewed again. “Well okay, just stay here until I can fix this. We’ll have to cancel tonight.”

“You don’t have to, Gir should be-” Zim started to say but was interrupted by a familiar voice.

“ZIIIHIIHIIIM!” Said Gir as he grabbed onto Zim, pulling him into a tight hug. He continued with tears in his eyes, “I’d thought-that I’d never see you again.”

Zim replied annoyed, “Gir you were in Skool, remember? It lasts the same amount of time everyday you’re there.” Since Zim and Tak had started getting taller Gir pestered Zim to upgrade his design so he could be taller too. After ages of persistence Zim finally gave into Gir’s request and updated both his design and disguise from his dog to his little brother. Zim was still a full head taller than him, which made Gir the shortest one in the group after Zim.

“I know.” Said Gir a bit more cheery, “But sometimes it feels a lot longer than that.”

“I know Gir.” Zim continued impatiently, “Did you get the disguise I told you too?”

“I did! Where’s Mimi?” Gir said as he rummaged through his green dog backpack and pulled out a small black cat disguise. Mimi mewed in excitement and Gir called out her name ecstatic as he ran over to her in the bushes. He pushed Tak aside and helped Mimi get her disguise who was more than happy to oblige.

“Where do you get these things?” Tak said bemused as she turned to Zim.

“It’s one of Gir’s old disguises, and he likes to keep things in his locker. And it looks pretty good on Mimi.”

Tak turned around and saw Mimi already in the disguise as she attempted to groom herself. Since the disguise was only a felt suit it did not have a tongue, so all she did was brush her arm against her mouth before rubbing it across her head.

“No. You are not wearing that, you look like a toy!” Tak said to Mimi.

“Then just have her pretend to be a toy. You’ll be able to take her home that way.” Dib suggested.

Tak then scooped up Mimi in her arms and said to her, “Don’t move a wire until we get back home and don’t say anything.” Mimi growled in response but Tak was satisfied with her answer. She then turned to Dib and asked him where Gaz was to which Dib responded that he didn’t. Almost on queue the three of them heard behind them,

“Alright, what’s this I hear about Tak’s disguise not working?” It was Gaz, and the three of them turned around to face her. Gaz saw Tak in her wig and Mimi in her felt suit and turned to Zim to say, “Oh. My God. You actually convinced her to wear one of your crappy disguises?”

“Hey it’s not crappy! It’s an ingenious disguise which just so happened to fool everyone on this planet. Except you and Dib.” Zim said defending himself.

“Yeah but everyone else on this planet’s an idiot.” Gaz said.

“Everyone? Even your father?” Zim said teasingly pointing to Gaz.

Without changing her blank expression she grabbed onto Zim’s hand and started squeezing, causing Zim to bend over in pain. He struggled for a moment before Gaz said, “You were saying?”

“Ah, I take it back. Your father’s a brilliant man. I love him!” Zim said in between groans of pain.

“Good answer.” Gaz said releasing him. Zim grabbed onto his other hand and massaged it.

Tak let out a giggle before saying, “Thanks Gaz.”

“For defending my dad?”

“No, but don’t get me wrong. Your father’s a credit to your entire species. But seeing Zim in pain always brightens my day.”

“Yeah, yeah, same to you.” Zim said, “If we’re all set I just want to get out of here before-” Again, Zim was interrupted.

“Oh hey Zim!” Said Keef with two backpacks slung over his shoulders.

“Oh, Keef. Great to see you.” Zim said regrettably, “But don’t you remember me telling you I needed some _personal space_ for a while? Like forever?”

“Oh yeah I remember Zim, sorry. But I’m here for Dib.” Keef said this as he took one of the backpacks off and handed it to Dib. “You forgot your backpack in English class and when you didn’t show up I thought I’d make sure you got it.”

“Aw thanks Keef.” Dib said a little hesitantly. He was thankful for him getting his backpack but Keef was always a strange one. He was especially weirded out by Keef’s red eyes, and wished Zim could give him his old ones back, but Zim told him that would be impossible.

“You’re welcome Dib. But Zim while we’re all here do you think we could hang out some time?”

“Ah yes we would, but I’m afraid we’re all rather busy.” Zim said while trying to push Keef away.

“I’m not! We could hang out!” Gir said excited.

Zim was about to chastise Gir for even suggesting to hang out with Keef but before he could say anything Keef said, “That would be great! I’d love to hang with you, uh…?”

“My names Gir!”

“Gir? Gir, that’s right. You’re Zim’s little brother. But I thought Gir was the name of your green dog?” Keef said looking up to Zim.

“We named him after Gir.” Zim said not even bothering to look at Keef.

“Which one? The dog or your brother?”

Gir wailed and grabbed onto Keef as he cried, “My doooooog! Oh why? I loved you doggo!”

Zim pulled Gir off of Keef as he said, “Gir! Great, you set him off! Now I have to take him home so he can calm down.” He looked to the rest of them and walked off with Gir crying on his shoulder as he said, “Sorry guys, I’ll see you all after the weekend. Come on Gir.”

Keef followed after them and said, “I’m sorry I made you brother sad Zim. I can make it up to both of you though! Gir, do you like Pokémon? We can play together on the bus ride home.”

“I love Pokémon!” Gir said as all sadness left his voice, he jumped onto Keef’s arm after he said this and Dib, Tak, and Gaz could see the two of them fight for Gir during their walk to the bus. The three of them watched them in silence until Gaz asked,

“He knows we’re all hanging out tonight? Or is that cancelled on account of Tak?” She said turning to the two of them.

Dib said, “No, I just think he doesn’t want Keef to know about it. But, how did you know about Tak’s disguise?”

“She texted me.” Gaz said.

“When was this?” Dib said to Tak, to which she responded.

“After you went to get Zim. I know I said it was too dangerous to use our phones but I panicked. Again.”

“Yeah well whatever. I told you everyone’s dumber than a sack of bricks.” Gaz said as she pulled out a GameStation hoodie from her backpack and tossed it to Tak. “Here’s my sweatshirt I promised.” Tak thanked her and put it on. She then placed Mimi inside of it much to her disapproving, and she poked her head out at the top so she could see.

“This should make my walk home a little less nerve wracking.”

“Right, so are you two going to walk home together cause I’m going to catch our bus before it leaves.” Gaz said. Tak never liked riding the Skool bus with the others, so she always walked home herself, even though she lived further into the city.

“That won’t be necessary. I should be fine on my own now.” Tak replied, much to Dib’s surprise.

Dib said, “Are you sure? I don’t mind walking you home and we can look over your system together.”

“Yup.” Tak said as she pulled the hood over her face and pulled the strings in each hand to close it tight. This pushed Mimi deeper into the hoodie, putting her out of sight. “I should be fine.” She said muffled behind it.

“Well okay.” Dib started, some concern still in his voice, “But if you need anything just text me.” He reached down for his phone but didn’t feel it in his pocket and then a realization came over him. “I left my phone in English class. Or Keef has it. Shit!” Dib said sharply through his breath.

“She can text me or Zim if she needs anything, alright? Are you coming Dib?” Gaz said annoyed.

“You go on ahead I’ll catch up.” Dib waved her away.

“Okay, bye Tak.” She waved to the two of them, a small bit of concern going over her face as she did, but it only lasted for a second. She walked away to the bus leaving Dib and Tak together.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Dib asked still concerned.

Tak pulled the hoodie down to free her mouth and said, “I should be fine, you go on ahead.”

“Okay, just text Gaz or Zim if you need anything, okay?”

“I heard Gaz fine Dib, you don’t need to repeat for her.” Tak then leaned into Dib and kissed him lightly on the lips, it lasted for a moment before Mimi let out an annoyed mew.

“Shush Mimi! You’re a toy. Toy’s don’t talk.” Tak said, but Mimi mewed back, “I don’t care if you think the disguise is good enough. Do as you’re told!”

“You’re going to be okay Tak?” Dib said again.

Tak started walking away and replied annoyed, “Yes, yes. I’ll be fine. We’ll see you tonight okay?”

Dib and Tak said goodbye and went their separate ways. Dib slung his backpack over his shoulder and went to his bus, and Tak began her long walk to her base. She looked around to make sure no one was watching her and then said to Mimi,

“Status report: my system’s still down but my pak and all its defensive capabilities are operational. Are your defenses operational as well?”

Mimi mewed and responded, “_Yes Ma’am. All defensive systems are operational._”

Tak responded, “Good. Let’s just hope we don’t need to use them.” With that, the two of them began their long walk to their base. Tak had been looking forward to their meetup tonight all week, she hoped she was still going to be able to attend it.


	3. Chapter 3 - Night At The Membranes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The weekend is finally here and Dib is anxious to get the night started. But Tak being late might just be the least of problems. Can tensions be managed or was this whole party a mistake?

“Dib, if you’re going to pace do it in your room.” Gaz said as she laid on the living room couch, her Game Station in hand. Dib was consumed with his thoughts and paced unaware Gaz had spoken to him. “Dib!” Gaz said to him forcefully as she lowered her Game Station from her face, it pulled him out of his trance and she continued, “Do you mind? You’re giving the whole house anxiety.”

“Oh. Yeah, sorry…” Dib said apologetically as he writhed his hands together and then said as he continued to pace, “It’s just… Don’t you think we should have heard something by now?”

Gaz returned her attention to her game and said, “You told her to text us if there’s a problem. As far as I’m concerned no news is good news.”

Dib went over to the back of the couch and looked down at Gaz as he said, “But not even a status message, or saying she got home safe?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be her boyfriend or something?” She said raising an eyebrow. “You know she never texts us.”

“She texts me…sometimes.” Dib glanced to the side as he finished. Usually it was him who texted first. Tak preferred meeting face to face if she wanted to talk but she wasn’t completely averse to texting or calling if she needed company.

“She messages us if there’s a problem.” Gaz said as she paused her game still very annoyed, “Or if she’s feeling lonely and wants to hang out. But she’ll never text us just for the sake of it.”

“But she was really worried at Skool and-”

Gaz interrupted him, “She seemed fine when I saw her. And she was fine walking home on her own. So something tells me she’s **fine**.” Gaz gritted her teeth and brought all her attention to her game as she finished.

“But what about Zim?”

“What about him?” Gaz said completely indifferent.

“He should have been here half an hour ago. Do you think it’s related?”

“Jesus Christ!” Gaz set her Game Station down on the couch and sat up to give Dib the evil eye as she said, “You’re seriously with Tak on the whole hunter thing?”

“Well…I mean it’s a possibility.” Dib said as he straightened up and looked away from her, he could never meet Gaz eye to eye when she gave him that look.

She laid back down onto the couch and brought up her Game Station as she said, “He had to shake off Keef, and Gir’s probably being more than a handful as usual. I haven’t heard from either of them, so **shut-up** and relax. We can worry about it tomorrow if we don’t hear from them.”

Dib didn’t say anything else related to the matter after Gaz finished and only rubbed the back of his head. He sat down on the armchair across from the sofa with his hands folded, and was still visibly anxious.

“Don’t you have your phone, or a book to read, or something?” Gaz said without looking up from her game.

“No. Keef has it.” Dib said tired as he leaned his head back on the chair.

“Right.” Gaz drawled out, but didn’t say anything else on the matter. The two of them were now silent in the living room. With nothing else to do Dib sat in the chair as his mind wondered. He was somewhat hopeful that Keef didn’t have his phone and that it was just sitting in the office at Skool. If he did, the worst he could try to do with it would be to unlock it and maybe get Zim’s phone number. He dreaded the conversation that would lead to between Zim and himself if that happened. It wouldn’t have been the first time Keef got ahold of his number, but it was a pain every time that happened. That meant Zim would have to rewire his phone to a new number and give it out to everyone so they could be in contact. Dib thought that more than likely would not be enough, as recently whenever Keef got Zim’s number he had been able to connect even after it was rewired. None of them were sure how he was able to do it. Tak thought he was able to connect directly to the sim card of Zim’s phone, but the term “sim card” was lost to Zim as he never tried to perfectly mimic Earth technology the same way Tak had. All of the phones Zim made for himself followed the basic principles of how a phone worked, which according to him was to send and receive messages from other phones. The exact way in which he accomplished this technologically Dib was unsure of, as he never got a chance to inspect a phone made by him. The few gadgets of his Dib had seen were indistinguishably Irken in terms of capabilities, but their outer façade passed as Earthly. Dib guessed that Zim’s phone number was treated similar to a forwarding protocol and that there was another physical address connected to his device like the MAC address of a computer. This would explain why Keef was able to connect to his phone after the number was changed, and why Zim had to make an entirely new phone to throw him off. Regardless of how Keef could stalk Zim, Dib only hoped he didn’t tag along with him to tonight’s meetup, or else it would be completely ruined.

His father was out for the weekend on an important business trip, not even his roaming monitor would be in the house. Dib and Gaz wanted to take advantage of his complete absence by having a game and movie night at their house, and then the two of them had planned to sleep over. Their father respected their privacy so he never had any cameras installed anywhere in the house except for his lab. This meant both Zim and Tak would be able to come over and completely be themselves and no one would have to guard against any kind of conversation. They could even turn off their disguises if they wanted to, but Dib thought this was rather unlikely. The only time Tak would remove her disguise was when she was in her home base, when she was in the underground portion of Zim’s, and when she was off the planet. Anywhere else and she always had her disguise on. Compared to Zim who was much more relaxed and would probably take off his disguise the moment he entered the house. This was assuming Tak didn’t show up tonight, as she was always very strict with him and usually “persuaded” him to keep his disguise on when she was with him. Dib and Zim did hang out without his disguise if it was just them and they could get away with it, or sometimes Zim would wear his old one, but Tak didn’t need to know about their outings. All of this only brushed through his mind as he came back to worrying about her. As he sat thinking, the doorbell rang at the front door and he jumped to attention.

“That’s probably them. Why don’t you get it?” Gaz said, but it was unneeded as he was already getting up before she spoke. He made his way to the front with apprehension and excitement, but before he could open it the door slammed opened. Gir squealed with glee as he paraded past him with junk food in arms into the living room. Dib brought his attention from him as he looked to the doorway where Zim was now walking through. He had on his hard-light disguise and was carrying a plastic bag slung over his shoulders. His outfit was slightly modified from when he was at Skool to be a bit more casual, and from what he could tell he was already wearing his pajamas underneath a pink sweatshirt.

“Hey Dib. We brought snacks and a few movies to choose from like you asked. Is Tak here?” Zim said as he let himself inside and closed the door behind him.

“No she hasn’t made it yet. Did you hear from her?” Dib asked hopefully.

“Nope.” Zim said without inflection. He was trying to hide the pleasure in his voice but gave up as he went on, “Maybe she won’t come at all I can take off this crappy disguise.” He laughed slightly to himself as he walked past Dib. He tossed the bag to him but Dib fumbled and dropped it which caused candy and a few DVD’s to fall onto the floor.

“Aw, come on Dib I was right next to you.” Zim groaned slightly as he went down to the floor to pick up the mess. Dib did the same and said,

“Sorry. Guess I’m just out of it tonight.” He ended his statement with a small forced laugh.

“Don’t be sorry it’s your house.” Zim said indifferently as he unwrapped a small candy while cleaning up. He threw the wrapper into the bag and said while chewing, “Tak’s still eating you, huh?”

“Yeah. I guess you could say that.” Dib said as they finished putting the candies and DVD’s back into the bag. When they finished they were still sitting on the floor and he asked Zim, “You really think it was just sun spots?”

Zim shrugged where he sat facing Dib and still spoke indifferently, “Honestly I have no idea. It could have been sunspots, or a programing loop that was always running in the background that just decided to kick in today. Or maybe it was an attack.” He got up to his feet with the bag slung over his shoulders again. He reached his hand down to Dib, and he could see a small trace of worry in his eyes, but Dib knew it was worry over him and not for Tak. After Dib made it to his feet Zim asked, “If you’re worried why don’t you text her?”

Dib felt a small wince at Zim’s question, he tried to choose his words carefully. He didn’t want to start a fiasco by saying Keef might have his phone, especially since he wasn’t sure if he actually did. “I can’t. I…lost it at Skool.” Dib was worried he was too vague after he spoke and couldn’t help himself from glancing away from Zim for a moment.

“You did? Aw that sucks man.” Zim said consolingly, not noticing any irregularity in the way he was talking. “Do you want me to make you a new one?”

Dib turned back to Zim slightly shocked from his offer, “You’ll make me one? And, and a cool one too? With alien gadgets and stuff like I always wanted?” Dib ended with excitement trickling into his voice.

“Uh….? Yeah. Like, it’s not a big deal. Why didn’t you ever ask me before if you wanted one?”

Dib’s excitement cooled for a moment at Zim’s question. “Yeah, why didn’t I ever ask you?” He thought to himself as he was in deep reflection, which was broken by Zim’s disguised hand snapping in front of his face.

“Uh, Dib? Hello? You in there Dib?” Zim said as he snapped in front of his face.

Dib waved his hands away from him and said in a slight daze, “What? Oh yeah sorry. I spaced out there for a second.” He brought his hand to the back of his neck and stretched before he continued, “I guess…I don’t know. I just never thought to ask you. When Tak showed me hers it was just something cool at the time. And when she didn’t offer to make me one I just figured that was it, and moved on.”

While he was talking Zim’s look of confusion faded away into mild frustration, and then ended in a smug grin. “Let me guess.” Zim started to say as his grin grew into a smile and he walked into the living room, “She told you that, ‘you don’t need one’ or that she couldn’t be bothered to make one for you.” He made his way to the couch Gaz was hogging and gestured her to move her legs to make room for him at the end. She groaned as she did but did not look up from her game. “Weren’t these her _exact _words?” He finished as he sat down and spread his arms over the back of the couch.

Dib went to the same chair he was in a moment ago and said, “Yeah. That’s pretty much what she said.”

“Yup, yup. Classic Tak!” Zim said sarcastically. He hunched over after he finished, and his expression returned to annoyance. “Why did you guys even invite her? You know she’s a party pooper.”

“She’s not a party pooper, she’s…” Dib started to say as he tried to find the right word to use.

“She’s high strung.” Gaz chimed in from her game, and Dib replied with agreement.

“High strung? That’s putting it lightly.” Zim said and leaned his head against his hand on the armrest. He was quiet before he glanced to Dib and said, “She still hates me you know.”

Dib was shocked, not so much at what Zim said as he was by his abrasiveness.

“She’s annoyed by you.” Gaz said once again chiming in. “I am annoyed by both of you.” She said as she glanced to both Zim and Dib.

“Yeah you too Gaz, thanks.” Zim dismissed her with a wave of his hand playfully.

“She definitely doesn’t hate you Zim.” Dib started to say.

“No she _definitely_ does.” He snapped back to Dib. “She goes out of her way to avoid me unless it’s for a prank (and those usually cause me bodily harm), and whenever the four of us are together she’ll either pretend I’m not here or put me down any chance she gets.”

“Aw come on, it’s not that bad.” Dib tried to reassure him but he felt himself getting red in the face as he spoke, “She was really grateful to you for helping her earlier.”

“No. She really wasn’t, and she only took my help because you pushed her to.”

“Yeah but you guys had a moment though right? You know, when you were talking about Mimi?” Dib was growing tense and shot finger guns at Zim as he spoke.

“What moment?” Gaz paused her game and looked to the two of them.

Zim sighed and said, “I can’t really even remember, but earlier when I was looking at her disguise she said she didn’t know where Mimi was or something. So I said I’d help her and send Gir out to go look for her, and then she thanked me for it. You know? Like a normal decent person.”

“You haven’t always been what I’d call a ‘decent person’, and I probably wouldn’t call you one now.” Gaz said.

“Hey, I think I’ve been more than decent!” Zim said as he brought his hand to his chest in pride, “Especially more decent that Tak has, considering how long she’s been friendly to you two. And how long has that been exactly?” He looked to Gaz and Dib with outstretched arms as he ended.

Dib scratched his head as he thought. “More than two years now, I think? There was a good bit of time between you and her becoming friends with us.”

“Yeah, and then how long have the three of us been friends?” Zim said.

Dib took off his glasses and wiped them as he continued, “I think about two years after you came, you and me officially became friends. Unless you want to the count the time after you realized you were banished and were just messing around here.”

“I wouldn’t. So four years?” Zim said.

“I’d say three and a half at most.” Gaz chimed in again from her game and continued, “I didn’t believe you were friends until after the first six months. I think even a year later I was still expecting you or Dib to make this big show of it just being a lie to get close to each other or something.”

“Oh I know, that sounds like something I would do.” Zim chuckled to himself lightly, some pride in his voice. “So yeah. I’ve been your friend for three, almost four Earth years. Then Tak has been your friend and my ‘friend’, and I’m using that term loosely.” Zim gestured his hands into air quotes as he said the word, “For only two years now. So um, yeah.” Zim crossed his arms over his chest as he ended

“So…what are you saying?” Dib asked Zim somewhat confused, but he had an idea as to what he was suggesting.

“Nothing! Nothing.” Zim curled up on the couch and didn’t say anything further for a moment and seemed to be thinking about what to say next, “It’s just… why do you- why does she still hate me after two years?”

“Aren’t you the reason she had to spend fifty years on planet Shit or something?” Gaz said from her game.

“It’s planet Dirt, and no. Kind of. Yeah.” Zim tossed his hands back and forth as he spoke, “But it wasn’t really fifty years (probably). Tak knows this, and I’ve explained it to Dib, and I’m pretty sure I’ve even explained it to you. Time doesn’t really work when you’re out in space. It’ll feel like you’ve spent fifty or a hundred years somewhere but really it’s only a few months at most. Like Foodcourtia!” Zim tapped his head as he remembered the planet he spent the first few years of his original banishment. “They get this weird period of gravitational pull that prevents anyone from leaving the planet for a few months, but it will feel like fifty years on the planet even though your body won’t age like fifty years actually passed.”

“I don’t know if I really believe or even get that Zim.” Dib said as he scratch his head, “I mean I’ve brought this up with my dad and he said something like that shouldn’t even be remotely possible.”

“Yeah, but how far into space has your dad ever gone?”

“He’s gone through a lot of our solar system.”

“That’s small potatoes for me, and even for you now.”

“But I’ve never experienced any ‘time displacement’ like what you’re talking about.”

“What about that black hole you fell into a month ago? You told me it felt like you were in there for a week but it was only a few minutes.”

“That’s from the event horizon.”

“Well it doesn’t matter.” Zim concluded their argument with an aggressive tone, “It’s a real thing and it’s been a big problem for the empire. It’s made their communications with different planets really inconsistent, and with so many Irkens all across the universe all at different times no one’s sure how much time has really passed.”

“Oh yeah, I keep forgetting to ask you.” Gaz paused her game and looked to Zim as she spoke, “How old are you really?”

“Oh? Couldn’t tell you.” Zim waved his hand brushing aside the topic, “I’ve experienced what feels like over 100 years, but how old I really am and how long I’ll live I don’t know. Why do you ask?”

“No reason.” Gaz said plainly, “Just curious on your life cycle.”

“Irkens don’t really know what our normal life cycle is, since we never hang out on one planet for long. So who knows? I could die next week or live on this planet forever…” Zim was silent for a moment as he ended his explanation and felt a small stare from both Gaz and Dib during it. After his pause he spoke violently, “Anyway, anyway, Tak! Why did we invite her?” He folded his hands together and pointed outwards when he finished.

“Dib’s girlfriend.” Gaz said simply.

“And your friend.” Dib said to Gaz, “And she’s yours too.” He said turning to Zim, “She just…has a lot to get over.”

“Well she’s had plenty of time to.” Zim’s tone indicated he didn’t want to explore the matter further. He rearranged himself on the couch and laid his legs over the armrest. He leaned back onto Gaz’s legs, who let out a small groan but only moved her legs slightly closer to herself. “So what are we doing?”

“I guess we can watch a show or play a game until Tak gets here. And maybe we can get something to eat.” Dib sniffed the air, and smelled the hot grease of bacon, and warming pancake batter. “Who’s making pancakes? And where’s Gir!?” Dib stood up and ended in a slight panic as he realized Gir wasn’t in the living room with them.

“He’s in the kitchen.” Gaz said calmly, still barely looking up from her game.

“Why is he in the kitchen cooking?” Dib looked to her confused.

“I like breakfast for dinner and he’s a good cook.”

“Better make sure you tell him to make something you can actually eat. I’ve made that mistake before and he put motor oil in my cereal, and worse too.” Zim said and shuddered.

Gaz looked to Dib and said, “Can you go check since you’re already up? And tell him I want blueberry pancakes.”

Dib sighed annoyed and said, “Yeah, I guess I’ll go do that.” He then went off into the kitchen.

After Dib left Zim sat back up, and patted his hands on his legs before he looked to Gaz and said, “So…Want to finish our Sonic marathon?”

She looked up to him from her game and after putting it down said, “Whatever you say Tails.” She then got up and started setting up the game and controllers.

“Hey I’m not being Tails again! You got to be Sonic last time.” Zim whined.

“Yeah, and you’re going to be Tails again. It’ll be easier, that way we don’t have worry about you dying and slowing us down.” She finished setting up the game and tossed the second controller to Zim as she went back to the couch.

Zim flinched slightly but caught the controller in his lap. After Gaz sat back down he crossed his arms and said, “Hump! I bet Dib never has to deal with this when he’s with Tak.” Gaz snorted in response to which Zim replied, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. Don’t worry about it.” Gaz chuckled to herself slightly as she started the game.

As she sat back down on the couch Zim got in her face and said, “You say that but you really mean ‘it _is_ something’, right?” Gaz didn’t say anything and tried to ignore him. Zim was always nosey about anything he wasn’t in on, so she was regretting her comment that sparked his interest. Even with her ignoring him, Zim was undeterred and said persuasively to her, “Come on. You can tell me.” She had enough of his begging so she turned and gave Zim the evil eye. Unfortunately he was unfazed, and all he did was pull his fingers across his lips and ‘zipped’ them shut. Gaz was fed up with him and was about to give in before she groaned aloud. “Come on. What’s going on with them? Is Dib whipped?” He asked innocently after she finished.

“No.” Gaz finally responded to him with a firm response, bur after a brief moment of thinking she drew out the words, “Kind of…”

“I knew it!” Zim says ecstatically, “What happened?” All of his attention was drawn away from the game and he was sitting on his knees on the couch facing her.

The way Zim acted over any little secret he could be in on was always funny to Gaz. She thought he acted like a kid that couldn’t bear to be out of the loop. She laughed slightly to herself as she said, “Oh my God…You’re like a Karen for gossip.”

“Wait, who is this Karen? And what does she have to do with this?” Zim asked confused.

“Nothing. Dumb Earth slang, look it up on your own time.”

“Right. Anyway you were saying?” Zim said eagerly, not allowing the two of them to be distracted from the topic.

Gaz groaned aloud again. She had been trying to play the game the whole time Zim spoke to her and was now setting it aside to speak to him. “You know how they went to the arcade the other night?”

“No. But continue.”

“Well I guess Tak lost to Dib on DDR and she had a fit over it or something.”

“Really? Just over losing to him?” Zim said confused, but after he thought about it briefly he thought that it was unsurprising.

“Well yeah, but I guess she went off on this whole thing about the empire and not accepting failure and she was really upset over it.” Gaz finished her brief explanation and then picked up her controller to continue playing in hopes that Zim would be satisfied.

She was surprised to find that he was. He said sympathetically to her and to himself, “Oh. That sounds about right.” After that he picked up his controller and continued playing with her.

The two of them were silent as they played and Gaz was the one to break the silence as she said, “She should probably talk to someone, besides you know, me and Dib.”

“Like how you’re seeing someone?”

“Yeah. I was thinking that.” Gaz said quietly to herself.

“Did you mention this to Dib?”

“No. And don’t you dare.” Gaz responded quickly with agitation.

“Hey my lips are sealed. Nobody knows anything you tell me. Not even Gir.” He reassured her.

“Yeah well, just forget about what I said for now.”

“Sure thing.” Zim said and the two of them continued playing. They weren’t silent as they played but the conversations they had only pertained to the game, which suited her just fine. The closest people in Gaz’s life were her father, and Dib; and more recently Tak, Zim and Gir had entered into her life, but she rarely shared her feelings with any of them. She knew this was out of a copping mechanism she developed when she was younger. Her father was somewhat absent from her and Dib’s life growing up, and they each had their own ways of dealing with it. Dib had his obsession with Zim and the supernatural and Gaz had her video games and reclusiveness. She thought that both Dib and herself had mellowed out over the years, which was a very good thing. She was still reserved with others and Dib was still very much into the supernatural, how ecstatic he must be to have an alien girlfriend, she thought to herself. Zim was Dib’s best friend, and his only friend besides Tak, but recently Gaz had found herself able to confide in him things she didn’t or couldn’t talk to her father or Dib about. About a year ago she started seeing a counselor. After having very little success with them as a child and going through about a dozen until she found one she liked. While she had been seeing them for a year nobody but Zim knew about this. When she thought on her reasons for confiding in Zim what she couldn’t to others she realized it was because Zim was an alien. As one he had very limited or no preconceived ideas about anything she could tell him about. Everything was foreign to him, so he was the perfect person to hear a unbiased opinion from, apart from his still very much present ego. Still she was happy to call him her friend, and as she thought about the past few years she spent with both him, Tak, and Dib she found herself to be very happy, even if she didn’t always show it on the outside.

* * *

Dib saw a thin haze as he entered the kitchen, and heard bacon and pancakes sizzling on the stove. Gir’s disguise gave him the appearance of a fourteen year old boy, and he stood at the counter next to the stove stirring a bowl as he hummed to himself. He turned his head 180 degrees around and said, “Hey Dib! You here to help?”

Even though Dib knew Gir was a robot, he couldn’t help but feel disturbed by him turning his head around completely as he said, “Uh no, I’m just checking in. Gaz wants blueberry pancakes, and she wanted me to make sure you were making something the rest of us can eat.”

Gir turned his head around into the same direction completing a 360, and whined to himself, “Aw, but I already started.”

Dib went up to the counter where Gir was working. He had four pancakes on the grill that were uncooked side up, and a pan of bacon in the back. Dib also saw a few questionable ingredients out, one of the worst was rat poison, but he remembered hearing somewhere that it wasn’t lethal to humans. Even so, he thought it was best to dispose of the batch. “That’s alright Gir. You can have those pancakes for yourself. What did you put in the batter?” He said pointing to bowl he was stirring.

“Nothing. Just the mix.”

“Just the mix?” Dib said dubiously.

“Well the mix, orange juice, turmeric, garlic powder. Uh, whatever this stuff is.” Gir picked up the container of rat poison as he finished and shook it into the bowl. Dib grabbed his arm and took the rat poison away from him as he said,

“Maybe we should just start over.” He took the bowl away from him and dumped it into the sink. “What did you put on the bacon?”

“Nothing.” Said Gir innocently.

“Nothing?” Dib asked and Gir replied with affirmation. Dib continued, “Just bacon? No rat poison? Soap? Bleach? Sewage?”

Gir replied no to all of them as he listed and ended with, “Just bacon!” as he brought up his arms in exclamation.

Dib was satisfied enough to trust him, but probably not to try it later himself. He finished dumping the bowl and left it in the sink to wash later. “That should be fine then. But I think I’ll stay and help you finish.” Gir hugged him and squealed with glee, Dib pushed him off and said, “Just follow the directions, okay? And we should probably rinse off the grill once yours are done.”

“They should be good now.” Gir said and immediately scoped up the four unfinished pancakes with the spatula and placed them into his mouth which unhinged like a hatch. He chewed obnoxiously as he told Dib he didn’t know what he was missing and finished them in only a few seconds.

Dib considered Gir one of his friends along with Zim and Tak, even despite his oddities. In truth he liked Gir because of his oddities, but he also found him overbearing and even disturbing at times. He reeled slightly as Gir finished eating and said, “I think I’m good.” He went over to the stove and activated the self-cleaning functionality for the now open grill. One of the many benefits of having the smartest man on Earth for a father was that all the contraptions in the house were state of the art. They were upgraded or replaced repeatedly throughout the year as his father used his own home as a testing ground for his inventions. Sometimes this meant having to deal with a faulty device until his father found the time to iron out the issues. Thankfully the stove had no such problems, but their dishwasher was currently out of commission so they would have to hand wash everything else. “That should be good in a few minutes. We can start making the batter in the meantime.” He reached over to get the bowl in the sink but was stopped by Gir as he grabbed his arm and said excitedly, “I want to clean it!”

“Okay, just make sure you only use the dish soap.” Dib said a bit concerned.

“Okay dad.” Gir replied annoyed and went to the sink to begin cleaning.

Dib brought his hand to his face and squinted, “Please don’t call me dad.”

“Can I still call your dad that?” Gir said somewhat concerned.

“Yeah sure, whatever.” Dib said disregarding what he said. He saw Gir rummage through the cabinet underneath the sink where they kept the soap and sponges when his father’s inventions had a malfunction. Gir had been to the house plenty of times before, and Dib thought he probably knew the layout of the place better than he did. “Gaz wanted blueberries. Do you know if we have any?” He asked Gir.

“Fridge, second shelf down from the top, back right. They should be Membrane brand.” Gir replied without hesitation as he cleaned the bowl. Dib went to the fridge and followed his instructions, and sure enough there was an unopened bag of Membrane brand blueberries there. His father had an entire line of packaged food products ranging from meat to produce. All grown in the lab to be identical to the real thing and free from any moral inconveniences or pollution. Dib had tried almost all of them before at least once. His father claimed they were both chemically and biologically identical apart from any impurities that shouldn’t be there, but Dib could still tell the difference between the lab grown and the real thing. His father told him it was purely a psychological fallacy his mind was creating, and Dib wondered if his father still thought of him as his insane son. He set aside that thought for a moment and asked Gir if they had any pancake mix left. Gir replied that it was inside the box, so he went back over to the counter and found it, along with Gir at the sink. He didn’t seem to be cleaning the bowl and instead filled the sink halfway with water, and soap bubbles overflowed from it which he played with. He gently called Gir’s name and he replied with a confused, “What?”

Dib paused for a moment before he said, “Never mind. Just clean yourself off and come help me.” Gir shook and wiped himself clean and then the two of them began preparing the next batch. Dib produced a new bowl from the cabinet and gathered the ingredients for Gir to mix while he supervised and manned the grill. As they worked Gir asked,

“Have you heard anything from Kitty?”

“What?” Dib asked surprised.

“You know Kitty. Meow, meow.” Gir imitated a cat’s claws with his hands as he mewed.

“Oh, Mimi. No I haven’t. Have you heard anything from them?” Gir replied that he hadn’t and then the two continued in silence before Dib started, “Hey Gir, I know you and Mimi get along good, but what do you think of Tak?”

“Angry lady? She’s okay. She doesn’t like my master for some reason though.”

“You still call Zim your master?” Dib was surprised, he couldn’t remember the last time Gir called Zim ‘master’ and he thought either he stopped doing it or Zim told him to stop.

“Only when he’s sad sometimes.” Gir said absentmindedly, he was intently focused on stirring the batter.

“Oh.” Was all Dib replied for a moment. He looked behind him to the doorway leading to the living room where Zim and Gaz were. He pondered over what Gir said and began putting together the pieces from Zim’s words earlier. “Is he said right now?” He tried to ask quieter in case someone would overhear.

“Kind of…He doesn’t really want to be here with angry lady.”

Dib moaned quietly to himself and said, “He said he was fine with it when I asked him last week. Are they going to be at each other’s throat the whole night?” Gir shrugged as a response and Dib asked himself what he was going to do.

“Maybe you don’t need to do anything.” Gir said, and Dib was confused by what he meant but he continued, “I mean I really like Kitty and she really likes angry lady, so she can’t be that bad, and I think you like her too.”

“Tak? Yeah, she’s cool I guess.” Dib said in pretend indifference as he smirked to himself.

“Well Kitty said she really likes you and Gaz, and my master likes you too. So maybe they can like each other if they want to try.”

At Gir’s simplistic but rather optimistic statement Dib’s mood improved immensely, “Hey yeah, you’re right Gir! If they can like me and Gaz they must have something in common, so why can’t they like each other if they try to?”

“Yeah! And if angry lady and Zim try to kill each other just be friends with the one left.”

“Uh, yeah. Let’s just hope it doesn’t come to that. And maybe don’t call Tak ‘angry lady’ if you can.”

“Can I call her the names Zim uses?” Gir asked eagerly.

Dib was about to say yes but thought about it for a second and then recanted, “No! Just call her Tak, or if you need to give her a nickname just something that isn’t bad.” While the two of them talked the doorbell rang and interrupted Dib from his sentence. “That must be them, I’ll be back in a minute!” He left abruptly and heard Gir say behind him to tell Mimi he said hello. He made his way from the kitchen to the front through the living room and saw Gaz and Zim sitting on the couch playing Sonic together on the television.

Zim turned around for a moment to yell to him on his way by and said, “Hey Dib! If it’s the pizza guy I’ll pay you back later. I forgot my Earth money at home.”

Dib stopped in his tracks to the door at Zim’s statement and said annoyed to him, “Why did you order pizza if we’re making food?”

Zim’s only response was a shrug, then Gaz said, “What’d you order?”

Zim said candidly, “Bloaty’s. What else?”

“If you don’t have money I’ll pay for it.” Gaz said back to Dib. Then the two of them returned to their game.

Dib groaned out loud and went over to the door with decreased excitement. The last thing he wanted was to answer the door for the weird, greasy, pizza delivery guy Bloaty’s always sent them. On his way to the door the bell rang again and with that Dib was convinced that it was the pizza guy at the door. “Yeah, yeah. I’m coming.” He said irritated and dreaded the conversation he would have with him. Dib imagined he would struggle to make change for the money he gave him and worse, as they always seemed just barely above brain-dead. He opened door and almost said, “What do you want?” but was stopped by a familiar sight.

Tak was standing under the dim light of the front porch in her human disguise as she looked to the side off into the distance. She was caring a backpack and had on Gaz’s burgundy Game Station hoodie from earlier today, and the hood was pulled back showing her face. Her hair was in the style of a longer somewhat messy bob, and it was black instead of her usual dark purple. Her hands where placed in her front jean’s pockets, which were skinny and black. At her feet where her usual style of boots she wore and Mimi, who rubbed against her legs as she mewed hello to Dib. Tak turned away from whatever she was looking at towards Dib. She had a look of indifference and disinterest on her and only said the word, “Hey.” As a small grin grew across her face.

Dib replied similar with only the word, “Hey.” Then he stepped out the front door and went to hug her, and she followed his embrace. The two of them stayed there under the front porch light in the twilight of the sky that was drenched in orange with light pollution of the nearby city. The only sound between any of them was the soft and barely noticeably sound of Mimi purring as she rubbed against their legs. After a moment they stopped hugging and Dib brought her inside and closed the door behind them as he said, “I like your hair.”

Tak stepped into the house and startled slightly at his comment, then she turned to look at herself in a mirror on the wall. “Yeah I tried to match Zim’s wig, since Zita saw me.” She touched and readjusted her hair as she looked into the mirror. “I don’t know how long I’ll keep it. Probably not too long, I miss the purple.”

Dib joined her in the mirror and said, “Yeah, me too. Not that black doesn’t look good on you.” Dib added quickly, “The purple is just…” He rotated his hand in a circular motion as he tried to find the word he was looking for, “I don’t know. More you. I guess.” He turned from the mirror to face her and said, “Did you ever figure out what was wrong with your disguise?”

Tak responded, “No, I brought it home and did a full analysis and ran every troubleshoot I could think off. Part of the reason why it took me so long. Well, that and I was working on this.” She swung her backpack around from her and took out something. She extended her arm out with it to Dib, and in her open hand he saw what looked like a new phone. Dib took it from her and it activated on its own in his hand. When it turned on he saw Tak’s modified Irken insignia light up on the screen. “To replace your old one. I know you didn’t really lose it yet, and it’s probably just sitting at the office in School-” Tak fidgeted with her hair and spoke quickly as she gave her explanation. Then she calmed herself down and continued coolly, “But, considering what happened today I thought it was best that you and I had a better way to communicate in case something like this happened again…that and I know you wanted one.” She added in a tone that feigned to be unsentimental.

“Tak! This is really…” Dib started unsure what words to use to express his thanks. She rarely used her own insignia, as she was afraid someone would recognize it as Irken. So he took it as a sign it was unique in its abilities. He continued, “Just… thanks. It’s really cool.”

“You’re welcome. And you’re right if you think it’s more than just a phone that’s off the grid. It can do a whole lot more than anything on Earth, but I’ll leave what it can do up to you to figure out. Since I know you like that sort of thing.” She looked into her backpack and rummaged for something before she looked back up to Dib and said, “Did I get here first or did Zim-?”

Zim called to them from the living room and interrupted her as she spoke, “You okay back there Dib? Is the pizza guy still here?”

“-No. Of course he didn’t.” Tak said aggravated, lowly to herself.

Dib yelled back to the living room, “No it’s just Tak, she made it.”

“Oh. Okay.” Zim said from the living room and the two of them could sense some disappointment in his voice. They then heard Gir as he entered the living room and excitedly said, “Who wants breakfast!?”

“And he brought Gir?!” Tak almost yelled out loud in her shock, which surprised Dib. Mimi either didn’t notice or didn’t care, as she mewed in excitement and ran over to meet Gir in the living room. Tak called out shrilly to her to not interact with him to no avail. They heard Gir exclaim, “Kitty!” Then she groaned to herself as she went off into the side room opposite of the living room. Dib followed her and saw her lean against a window looking outward with an expression of disgruntlement. She said, “I thought you said you only invited Zim.”

“We did.” Dib started to say to her, “But him and Gir are kind of a package deal. You know, like you and Mimi?”

Tak brought her hand up to cover her eyes in exhaustion and said, “Tell me they’re at least wearing their disguises?”

“They are. But I don’t think they really need to. You’re all safe here, you could probably take off your disguise for the night if you want too.”

“I’ll keep it on.” Tak said flatly, “No offense, but considering your father’s the smartest member of your species I’d rather not have him see me without my disguise on. Even with his supposed respect for your privacy I can’t believe he doesn’t have any monitoring of his home.”

“He does. But only in and around the lab. The rest of the house is safe.”

“I’m sure it is.” She stopped leaning on the window, straited up, and exhaled deeply. “Even so. Considering the fiasco that was this afternoon I’d rather just keep it on.” She turned to Dib and said, “And please tell me you'll make sure they keep their disguises on too.”

“Yeah. Like I said, they already have their disguises on. And I don’t think they have a problem with them either.”

“Good.” Tak relaxed a bit and brought her hand to her face to brush her hair away. “The idiot’s finally smartening up.”

Dib exhaled in frustration as he brought his own hand up to his hair. He said, “Why do you treat him like this? He’s not an idiot you know.” Tak responded with a deadpan expression as she lowered her hand from her face to stare at Dib. “Okay he has plenty of lapses in judgement, I’ll give you that. But he’s hardly what I consider an idiot.”

“Sure. He’s brilliant.” Tak deadpan demeanor seeped into her tone as she spoke, and she looked away from him to the window as she crossed her arms over her chest.

As things were turning out Dib was worried that Gir’s worst case scenario was coming close to happening. He choose his words carefully before he spoke again, “He was a big help today at Skool.” Tak was unphased. “And he even offered to help you find Mimi when we didn’t know where she was.” Tak readjusted herself as she looked out the window. Finally she said,

“He can occasionally think of someone other than himself, but one good gesture hardly makes up for everything.”

“What does he have to make up for?” He reached out and touched her shoulder, but she shook him off and refused him as she stepped closer to the window.

“He’s a selfish, conceited, and annoying little brat.” She started to say, still looking away from him. “That, and combined with everything he’s done to ruin my life I think I’ve been exceptionally kind to him.”

“What, by insulting him and sometimes hurting him every chance you get?” Dib said angry and let his emotions show unguarded. Tak didn’t say anything to his question but he saw her posture visibly tighten and could make out a girted expression on her face in the faint reflection of the window. Dib brought his hand to his face as he looked away and tried to cool himself down. He didn’t want to start a fight with her and ruin the party. He also realized he hasn’t always been the best influence for her. Considering he’s ignored or even encouraged Tak’s pranks he knows he’s partially to blame for her actions. He began again calmer and said, “He’s not the same self-centered, annoying little green alien that came to this planet six years ago. He’s still pretty selfish and full of himself, but he’s getting better.” Tak was unmoved by what he said but he still continued, “And he is sorry. He’s told you multiple times now. The most recent was **_today_** actually.” Dib regretted his tone right after he finished. It wasn’t angry, but it certainly felt like he was accusing her. Tak’s posture seemed to loosen at his remark and she turned around to face him with an annoyed, mocking look on her face, and had one arm cradling the elbow of the other as she said,

“You know, one thing I could never get over about Earth is that you guys seem to think just saying ‘sorry’ is enough to make up for something. But I don’t think it could even be remotely close to makeup for what happened to me.” She ended her statement in anger.

“I don’t think saying ‘sorry’ is enough either, and I don’t think that’s all he’s done.” Dib began to say frustrated now, “He’s tried to make things better and he’s helped us out multiple times, _again_, he most recently helped _you_! Just…” Dib brought up his hands to his face to wipe it and tried to cool himself off before he continued, “Look, I know the four of us do hang out sometimes but when we do the two of you just kind of imagine the other doesn’t exist or worse. He’s doing a lot just by being here tonight, but he’s doing it because he likes me and Gaz, but so do you. Do you think maybe you could admit you two have something in common? Or at least tolerate him the same way he is you for us tonight?” Dib tried to end it there with Gir’s insight from earlier, and hoped it would put things into perspective for her. Instead, after he finished he was surprised to see an angry look wash over Tak as she brought up her hands and squeezed them in anger.

“You-**_Idiot_**! Don’t you think I realize this, and it’s the whole reason I agreed to this in the first place?”

“What?” Was all Dib could say in his confusion.

She went right up to his face and said still very angry, “I already know he likes you guys! I’m expecting him to behave because of it, if he didn’t I’d be furious with him!”

“Oh.” Was all Dib could say and he thought to himself, “Yeah idiot.” With that sudden outburst Tak seemed to cool off, or at least she tried to. She turned away from Dib and pulled at the back of her hair as she squinted in annoyance and pain. “Are your antennas hurting again?” He asked her concerned, she opened her eyes and stopped pulling at her hair and looked very self-conscious.

“They’re fine. Just sore.” She fixed her hair as she said this but would not look to Dib as she finished.

“Want to go upstairs and I’ll massage them for you?” He approached and reached out to her shoulder as he said this. She didn’t notice Dib, and was considering his offer but as she saw him she jumped back and said tensely while touching her hair,

“I said I’m fine. Can you stop doing this?”

“Doing what?” Dib said confused.

“This.” Tak gestured to all of him, “What you always do. You always try to be the ‘voice of reason’ or the mediator, but you’re not very good at it.”

“I don’t…” Dib was about to go on but as he thought about how he’s acted, particularly over the past few days, he realized he has definitely tried to be the mediator. “…Okay yes I do.” Tak didn’t say anything else but crossed her arms over her chest irritated, he continued “But I don’t really think that’s a bad thing, somebody has to.”

Tak unfolded her arms and brought them up at a loss for words. “No, you don’t, you don’t have to. Tonight would have been just fine if you hadn’t brought this up. Zim and I would have tolerated each other enough to be on the opposite ends of the room without making eye contact and then we would have all just gone to bed after tonight.”

“Yeah but-” Dib was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell as he started talking. Both him and Tak looked to the door the latter of which said,

“Who else did you invite?” She hissed as her eyes darted back to him.

“No one. That’s probably the pizza they order.”

Tak tensed up at Dib’s explanation and he could see her physically fight not to pull her hair, “Why did they order pizza? Are they trying to drive me insane?”

“Relax the pizza guy’s not going to notice anything.” Dib said trying to reassure her.

“I know that.” Tak said less stressed, “But it’s always the same weird one that likes to hang out as long as possible and is probably half brain dead.”

“Yeah, so we’ll just pay and shoo him off.” Dib went up to the door and opened it to the pizza guy.

He was tall but had horrible posture as he hunched over holding the pizzas in one arm. He had long greasy black hair and acne all over his face. His uniform was bright pink with a fat pig eating a pizza sewed onto his right chest and on his left side was an upside down name tag that read “CJ”. He let himself into the house past Dib and said, “I got a large cheese pizza, and a large half pepperoni, quarter anchovies, and quarter no cheese for a Mr.…Uh, I can I can never get this guy’s name right.” He said the last part to himself annoyed and read the name on the receipt phonetically, “In-va-der Zim?”

Tak jumped slightly at the pizza guy’s words but before she could say anything Dib went to him and said, “That’s us! He’s busy right now but we can pay you.”

The pizza guy looked up from the receipt, “Oh hey Dab.” He said with a smile, “How you doing man?”

“It’s Dib, and I’m fine uh…” Dib started to say dubiously.

“CJ. Did you forget my name man?” He said annoyed and crossed his free arm.

“No.” Dib lied, “Your name tag is upside down.”

CJ looked down to his name tag and saw that it was, “Oh, yeah it is.” He then tried to fix it and nearly dropped the pizzas doing so. Tak then came over and took them away from him. “Thanks,” He said uncaringly. She carried them off to a table in the side room as he continued, “It’s twenty six, sixty seven for the guy’s pizza. And is that really his name?” He asked regarding the name Zim used to order.

“Nope.” Said Tak flatly, “He’s just a child who likes to play pretend.”

“Oh…Really? What’s he pretending?”

Tak nearly slammed the pizzas on the table and said, “Dib, give the deliver drone his money so he can go.”

Dib reached for his pocket quickly but realized he didn’t have his wallet on him. He said he would be back as soon as he got some money.

“Don’t bother.” Tak said as she went over to her backpack on the ground and reached into it. She produced a wad of bills and presented a one hundred note to CJ and said, “This should cover it. You can go now.”

CJ looked at it and said slowly, “Uh…you’ll have to wait for me to get the change for this.”

“That’s not required, you may keep the rest.”

“Really?” CJ asked excitedly, “You like me that much?”

“No. Let me be perfectly clear.” Tak started to say slowly and deliberately, “I’m paying you one hundred dollars to fuck off. You should take it and leave before I remove you myself.” She then produced another one hundred note and gave it to him.

CJ accepted it but pondered over what she said with a quizzical look on his face and then said skeptically, “I don’t know how I should feel about this.”

“Decide later. Goodbye!” Tak said quickly as she turned him around and pushed him out of the doorway and slammed it shut behind him. She leaned on the door after it closed and let out a relieved sigh.

“Well that went better than expected.” Dib said, “I’d pay you back but I know you pretty much print money.”

“Your welcome.” Tak said as she brushed a hand through her hair while still leaning on the door. “Why did they order pizza? Didn’t Zim’s SIR unit say he made food or something?”

“Miscommunication. Gaz told Gir she wanted breakfast for dinner, and I guess Zim ordered pizza on the way here or something.”

“That sounds about right.” Tak said annoyed. She got off the door and went to her backpack and began rummaging through it.

Dib watched her and then went over to the side table where she left the pizzas to bring them to the rest of the party. As he did so he said, “And uh…Tak?”

“Please don’t start again.” She said flatly as she went through her backpack.

Dib grabbed the pizzas off the table and said, “I’m not, it’s just…Is everyone going to have a good time tonight?”

Tak stopped going through her backpack and turned around to look at him as she said, “I don’t know. I can’t speak for everyone but I actually wanted to be here. I find most of the party amicable so I just figured I’d have a good time if I just focused on them.” She stood up and crossed her arms over her chest, “I assume you think the party’s already off to a bad start.” There wasn’t any unrest in the way she spoke or even in her posture, she was simply stating what she observed.

“No, at least I don’t think so.” He said this more to himself than to her, “Look, I’m sorry we had a fight, maybe putting you and Zim in the same house for the night wasn’t the best idea.” He could see Tak tense up as he continued, “I’m not saying one of you should leave but…I don’t know, maybe I was just dumb to think we could all get along for the night.”

Tak took a deep breath, and relaxed slightly as she said, “Look: the night hasn’t even started and Zim and I haven’t even seen or spoken to each other. He is…_something_.” She looked off to the living room where everyone else was as she said that word. “But I wouldn’t have agreed to come tonight if I couldn’t handle him.” There was a small pause before she reluctantly finished, “And you might be right when you say he isn’t the same annoying little alien from six years ago.”

“Dammit Gaz! Just grab onto me and let me fly your fat ass!” The two of them heard Zim yell out from the living room. After hearing it Tak said annoyed,

“Or maybe not.”

“You’re not the same either. You’ve both changed a lot. For the better I think.” He went next to her with the pizzas in hand and nudged her side with his playfully, “I know you have a lot to get over, but try to get along with him tonight, at least a little bit more than usual. Okay?”

Tak breathed deeply again and then said, “Whenever I have to be around him you know I tolerate him. That’s the best you can hope for out of me.” She bent down to her backpack and took something out of it. “But maybe tonight I can tolerate him a bit more than usual. Maybe anyway.” Out of her backpack she took the wig and contacts Zim gave to her earlier today and showed it to Dib who gave a smile as he said cheerfully,

“That will probably be a good way to start.” He thought to himself for a moment before he asked, “You didn’t do anything to them, did you?”

“Apart from clean them, no.” Tak said as she crossed her arms slightly insulted, “I’m trying to behave myself tonight, at least as long as he does anyway.”

“Well, I guess that’s as good as I can hope for.” Dib said with mock cheer and then made his way into the living room with Tak beside him. When he stepped into the living room he could see Gaz and Zim on the couch playing their game and two partially eaten plates of pancakes on the coffee table. He also spied Gir playing with Mimi on the ground with what he assumed was some mess of string. He lifted the boxes above himself and said to the room, “Tak’s here, and so is the pizza!”

“We heard you guys in the other room.” Gaz said dryly from the couch, she looked away from the game for a moment to the two of them and said, “Hey Tak.”

“Hello Gaz.” She said simply, “I have the sweater you lent me earlier.” She then began to remove it from her person revealing a dark purple tee shirt she had on underneath. “Where do you want me to put it?”

“Just leave it anywhere, I’ll put it back in my room later.”

Tak then laid it down carefully over the armchair by the couch. “I also have your ridiculous disguise from earlier today.” Tak said playfully before she threw the disguise at Zim. It hit him in the side of the head, and even though it did not hurt him, when Zim was hit he let out a resounding, “Ow!” as he rubbed the side of his head that was hit and looked to the two of them. “Oh don’t be such a smeet.” She said as she collapsed onto the armchair slouching. “And you can thank me later for disinfecting them.”

Zim placed down his controller to inspect his wigs and contacts, he felt something was off with the texture of the wig and brought it to his nose to smell it, after which he gaged and said, “Aww, Tak! What did you do to this?”

“Nothing.” Tak said innocently, “I just put them through a cleaning solution to try and get some of the grime off. You should thank me for taking the time to clean it.” She ended her statement with satisfaction in her voice.

Zim was unimpressed and brought the wig an arm’s length away and covered his nose in the pit of his elbow as he said, “Well whatever you put it in, it’s making me nauseous! If you were expecting me to put them on tonight you’re out of luck.”

“I wasn’t!” Tak began saying annoyed, “And if you know what’s good for you you’ll keep your real disguise on.”

“Hey….” Dib interrupted entreatingly, “I’m bringing the pizzas into the kitchen and helping myself to them if anyone wants to join me.”

“I’ll have some pizza. Gir, cover for me.” Zim said as he stood up from the couch and went over to Gir.

Gir was still on the floor with Mimi, who was on her back as he dangled a piece of string above her to swipe at, “But Kitty!” He implored looking to Zim.

“He doesn’t have to play for you. You’re Tails.” Gaz said.

“But what if you need to fly over something?” Zim asked.

“I won’t. The whole game’s meant to be played without that.”

Zim was satisfied enough with Gaz’s explanation or at least eager to join Dib in the kitchen. As he went away he called out, “Well just don’t do anything exciting without me, I don’t want to miss anything!”

“No promises.” Gaz said playfully in her dull tone which earned a small gruff from Zim who none the less went off with Dib into the kitchen without another word.

With Zim and Dib in the kitchen, Gaz and Tak were left with each other in the living room. Gaz was focused on her game and Tak didn’t feel any need to distract her from it, so she fixed herself slightly up in the chair and watched Mimi. Gir was kneeling on the ground above her and dangling a mess of string for her to swat at as she laid on her back. Both of them had happy faces as they were completely focused on their game, and neither one of them noticed Tak as she glared daggers at the two of them. She had given Mimi explicit instructions not to interact with Gir both in the past and now just a moment ago, so she was very annoyed that Mimi decided to disobey her orders. She used her communicator and said to Mimi, “_What do you think you’re doing?_” Her tone was icy and did not portray any other type of emotion besides her annoyance which she could not hide in her thoughts.

Tak was satisfied and surprised that Mimi payed attention to her and slowed in her swatting as she adjusted her head slightly to turn to face her. Mimi communicated to Tak, “_I’m fulfilling my disguise Ma’am._”

Mimi gave her response with disinterest, and her tone angered Tak slightly. She then said to her somewhat venomous and still icy, “_Really…? Because it looks like you’re playing with the enemy._”

Mimi stopped her swatting completely at Tak’s statement and brought her front legs down to her belly and said to her, “_If he’s the enemy Ma’am, then why are we here with him and his superior?_”

Tak didn’t say anything to her question but couldn’t help herself from glancing from her to Gaz for a brief moment as she continued to glare daggers at her. Mimi noticed her eye movement and looked to Gaz and then back to Tak as an exasperated expression washed across her face. It was still there even as Gir noticed she stopped playing, and playfully pushed the mass of string into her head as he entreated saying, “Kitty?” gleefully unaware of the conversation she was having with her superior. She was still glaring at Tak as she complied with Gir and resumed her swatting.

Tak broke the silence as they glared at each other and said, “_I gave you a direct order not to interact with him._” Some feelings of disloyalty were present in her tone as she spoke to Mimi.

She responded plainly, “_I’m not in danger. And we’re not bothering you Ma’am. If anything, I’m keeping him from bothering you by occupying his time._”

Tak relented with a condition and said still annoyed with her, “_Just behave yourself._”

Mimi was satisfied with that response but before she resumed her playing with Gir she said back to her, “_I’ll only follow your lead Ma’am._” The way she said it equated to, ‘I will if you do’ which Tak didn’t like, but she had enough talking with her.

As far as she could tell all Gir was doing with Mimi was playing with her, so she didn’t feel too strong of a need to separate them. She brought her attention away from them and focused on the television screen as Gaz marched her blue character across the screen and got lost in her thoughts. She still felt very negatively about Gir, not only because he was a creation of Zim’s and she found him irritating, but because his interactions with Mimi had been very hazardous in the past. Since the first incident six years ago when Gir was able to remote access and control Mimi, Tak felt she had never fully reverted back to her old self. Tak had been able to correct the problem and reinstate her autonomy and old programming but she felt something in Mimi was off, not to say she was exactly the same then as she is now. She operated smoothly and never disobeyed or performed detrimentally to their mission, but over time she found Mimi’s personality had developed increasingly into something she had unanticipated. The phrase, ‘gone native’ went through Tak’s mind, and were Mimi’s own words when she described the state Tak was in. She said it back to her as a joke the other night, but when she thought back on it she found the description fits Mimi perfectly. The original parts she used to create her where unique in that her “brain” was designed to observe, learn, and in a sense grow over time. Due to this any and all information she took in, whether it was combative, technical, or even cultural, was assimilated and compiled into her inner processor. The entire design purpose behind a SIR unit like Mimi was to create a robot that could, ‘go native’ so as to assist an Invader in blending in on an enemy planet. Hence the reason why Mimi perfectly mimicked the habits of a domestic house cat, and preferred them over acting as a robot. Tak thought perhaps that was the reason she found her parts discarded on Dirt. All modern SIR units used by Invaders today could collect and analyzed data, but they couldn’t understand it the same way she or Mimi could, so their programming remained static throughout their existence. More than likely Tak thought this was a conscious choice by their designers to avoid any complications a constantly changing AI could bring. Tak almost felt the same way, she appreciated having Mimi as a companion for as long as she has, but she also found that sometimes she could be a bit of a nuisance. If only because of her uncalled for opinions she continued to provide without being asked to. Oddly, she briefly thought there was some similarity between Gir and Mimi. If only because it seemed to her that Gir seemed to change over the years similar to her. She thought perhaps Zim and herself had been rummaging through the same bunch of garbage when they made their SIR units, but she couldn’t even bare that similarity so instead she chalked it up to poor design choices and dumb luck of Zim on creating Gir.

In the middle of her thought she came back to reality at the sound of Gir squealing over something Mimi was doing. She turned quickly to face the two of them and saw Gir grab Mimi into a hug. She was about to say something but noticed Mimi didn’t look displeased, if anything she looked quite happy. She decided not to intervene since as far as she could see there was no danger to her, but she made a mental note to herself to analyze her when they returned home tomorrow night.

“How was your walk home earlier?” Gaz said to Tak suddenly, jumping her out of any other trail of thought she was in.

“Oh, thankfully nothing happened.” She started to say coolly, “But I’m also infuriated that nothing did.” She ended her statement gritting her teeth.

Gaz let out a small chuckle and said, “Didn’t I tell you everyone’s dumber than a sack of bricks?”

“You did, but this is just uncanny.” Tak said exasperated, “If I brought you or Dib anywhere in the Empire in an Irken costume twice as good as what I wore home, the two of us would be shot dead in seconds.”

“I doubt that.” Gaz said unimpressed.

“It’s a lot different in the Empire.” Tak retorted quickly, “Your planet doesn’t even believe in other planetary life, but we constantly have to be alert in case of infiltration.”

“Uh…maybe.” Gaz said still unconvinced. She hadn’t turned her head away from the game the whole time she spoke to Tak, and she was now focusing intently on beating a boss. Tak watched her as she played. The game didn’t interest her as much as the fighting games she’d gone against her in, if only because it seemed to lack depth compared to them, but she still found the motions of the main character mesmerizing. Tak thought the overall design of the game was lacking as she had difficulty decerning what some objects were supposed to be. She assumed the background of the level was meant to be water or a forcefield of some kind and the boss was some fat man riding a orb shaped hover craft. She watched Gaz hop the blue creature into the boss for a total of eight times all while avoiding shots from it. After she finished the level Gaz said, “So nothing happened at all?”

Tak brought one of her hands to her face again and rolled her eyes as she groaned, “Actually the most infuriating and insane thing of the day happened on my way back. Some weird-o, for some unbelievable reason, decided to cat-call me on my walk home.”

“That doesn’t sound crazy.” Gaz said disappointed, “That’s just whatever.”

“But I was green!” Tak said in disbelief of what she was telling her, “What-What on Irk kind of thing was he thinking?”

“Everyone’s dumb, but guys are dumber.” Gaz said to her plainly, “What did you do to him?” She asked, some excitement in her voice.

Tak blew air and sighed, “Nothing. Normally I would have but with everything happening I just wanted to get home in one piece without any attention.”

“That’s far.” Gaz said understanding. “You still got plenty of test subjects back home anyway.”

“More than I know what to do with.” Tak said and chuckled softly to herself. She then remembered who was in the room with her and turned to see Mimi and Gir still playing. She said a bit quitter to Gaz, “Do you think he heard us?”

Gaz responded unconcerned, “I don’t think they’re paying attention to us, and he won’t say anything.”

“Of course.” Tak said with some concern in her voice and looked over to Mimi and Gir. She had forgotten they were in the room with them as she chatted with Gaz, but they seemed to be distracted with whatever game they were playing. For a moment she wondered if her mind wiping technology would work on Gir, and whether she would be able to do so to him discreetly. She’s been experimenting on humans since she arrived on the planet, even after she became friends with Dib and Gaz. Her first experiment was with the owner of the Deelishus Weenie corporation as her surrogate father, but following ‘developments’ as Tak put it, she began other more involved experiments of human biology. Once Dib found out about her experiments, as well as her most recent project, he had her release all of the livings ones and the ones who could be repaired. She did release all her test subjects, with the exception of her father which she was able to convince Dib was necessary for her survival on the planet. But she still had further experiments to run, so not too long after releasing them she began collecting again. To her credit she only collected criminals and other undesirables afterwards and employed a catch and release policy for some of them in hopes that Dib would accept her interests. But she never told him she was still experimenting on humans. She figured what he didn’t know couldn’t hurt him, and what she was doing was done in hopes of better understanding herself, so Tak thought he would have to understand her if he wanted to be a good boyfriend.

“Oh, and speaking of freak experiments.” Gaz started to say absentmindedly in between her game, “Did you fix your phone? You know, since Keef probably has Dib’s?”

“Already taken care of.” Tak said assuredly, “And I gave Dib a new phone as a precaution.”

“You bought him one on your way here?” Gaz asked confused.

“No. I made him one.” She said proudly. Tak was well aware of her technological accomplishments, and wanted to be sure Gaz knew her work when she saw it.

“Cool, could you make me one?” Gaz said absentmindedly.

Tak didn’t respond immediately, as the request itself caught her off guard slightly. She remembered that she initially rejected Dib’s request to make him a phone when she first joined their friend group. That seemed ages ago to her, and she assumed it did to them as well. Even so, she had a small fear that Dib would find some grievances with her if she agreed to make one for Gaz so easily. She decided that it would be unfair to make one for Dib and not Gaz, so somewhat reluctantly she replied with, “I - Sure.”

“Sweet.” Gaz said pleased, leaving Tak to dwell on her thoughts. She was jostled from them by the sound of Zim and Dib laughing in the kitchen as she looked off into that direction. “Sounds like the idiots are having fun.” Gaz said to herself.

Tak didn’t say anything at first and only fixed herself in her chair to watch the television and sighed lightly before saying, “Yeah.”

Gaz looked to her from the corner of her eye and said, “Do you want to play?”

Tak came to attention at her question and said, “I’ve never played this game before, so it probably won’t be very exciting to watch.”

“Didn’t you wipe the floor at the arcade the other day on games you never played?” Gaz said opening an eye wide to her.

“Dib told you about that?” Tak asked somewhat surprised that Gaz knew about the particulars of her date.

Gaz replied simply, “Yeah.”

Tak was about to ask, ‘how much did he tell you?’ But thought better not to ask and said with a small amount of annoyance she couldn’t hide, “Well all those games were dumb.”

“Well this isn’t dumb, so play with me.”

“This game doesn’t look too interesting to me, and I don’t really want to play as the little orange thing following you around.” Tak said with her arms crossed.

“Play as Sonic then, and I’ll be Tails.”

She was about to say that she didn’t want to play as the blue thing either when she heard a call from Zim in the kitchen. “Gir your stuff is ready!” He yelled to the living room, and then repeated his name after he didn’t hear a response. Gir replied that he was busy. Tak let out an annoyed pout and was about to get up and yell back but Gaz stopped her and said,

“Don’t worry about it. They’re dumb but they can handle it. You playing or what?” Tak was running out of excuses, it was clear to her that Gaz wanted to play the game with her but she still wasn’t sold on it. She had been mesmerized by the way Gaz moved her character quickly across the screen, even in the slower pace of the water level she was finishing up. She watched her beat the boss in style after which the title “Hydro City Zone Act 2” lit up on the screen. Gaz paused the game and handed her controller towards her and said, “Well? Are you at least going to try it?”

Somewhat begrudgingly, Tak gave in and said, “Just to humor you. Sure I’ll try it, don’t expect me to like it.” She moved on to the couch next to Gaz and setup with their respective controllers. She un-paused the game and said, “So what’s the purpose of this game?”

“You gotta go fast.” Gaz said as a small smirk grew across her face.

“I can see that.” Tak said unimpressed. After the game was un-paused she saw the characters consumed in a vortex as they went behind geometry and appeared on a lower level. “Any other goal? I see this game has rudimentary combat with the bosses you fought. Does it get anything like that fighting game?”

“Tekken? No, you just hop on enemies until they die like Super Mario.” Gaz said as she demonstrated with her own character in the game.

“Which one is that? Not the one with the yellow disk eating ghosts or something?”

“Pacman? No, it’s the one with the Italian guy and giant mushrooms.”

“Ugh!” Tak let out a disgruntled moan as she continued, “What is with all these Earth games and their ridiculous settings?”

“Less talk more speed.” Gaz said as she nudged Tak back to the game.

Tak obeyed and began her process of analysis of the game as she played. She noted it had fairly limited physics based upon the speed and momentum of her character, that most enemies could damage her simply by touch, and that to prevent death she had to carry at least one golden ring. “Very simple in concept.” Tak thought to herself, “Not as graceful as Gaz yet, but in no time at all I should be able to master this little game.” With that thought in mind she brought all of her focus onto the game and began her conquest of it, as she knew any true Invader would achieve.

* * *

Dib and Zim made their way into the kitchen. There was still a faint haze of smoke from Gir’s cooking that permeated the air. None of the dishes had been cleaned but there was still a tower of suds in the sink from when Gir was playing in it. The stove looked dirtier than Dib would have expected from bacon and pancakes, with grease and batter all over it in places where it shouldn’t be, but he assumed that was normal for Gir. Along with that it seemed he had helped himself to the rest of the kitchen. Cabinets where open with pots and pans everywhere; milk, eggs, and cookie mix were open out on the table, there was something cooking in the oven (he hoped cookies), and the fridge was left open.

As they entered and saw the state it was in Zim said apologetically, “Uh…Sorry about Gir wreaking your kitchen. I usually let him do whatever he wants at ours but I should probably tell him to be more considerate at your house. You have a cleaning robot right?” He ended looking to Dib.

“No, not really.” Dib started to say as he made an open spot on the table for the pizzas. “Since the whole Foodio-self-destruct thing dad’s kind of been turned off from domestic robots.”

“Oh yeah, ‘Destructio’” Zim said reminiscing to himself, “Your dad hasn’t made any robots since then?”

“You almost had it blow up our whole family Zim.” Dib said in a huffy as he went to the fridge door to close it, “That, and he still can’t get over the poached eggs it used to make.”

Zim sat down at the table and said callously, “Well sorry. It was only a few years ago.” He opened the box of cheese pizza and said, “I hope they didn’t ruin my order. I swear every time I think about how they could mess it up they end up doing that exact thing. They must have mind reading technology or something.” He then took out a slice and began eating, while doing so he said, “I’ll be sure to have Gir clean up everything before we leave.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Dib said as he sat down to join Zim. He took a slice of the cheese as well and said, “The stove should be able to clean itself. It’s just the dishes that need cleaning really.”

“Well I’ll have him clean it anyway. It’s good to keep him busy.” Zim placed his wig and contacts on the table between him and Dib while they were eating and said, “What do you think? Some skin burning chemicals or some stuff to make me itchy?”

“I don’t think Tak would sabotage your disguise while we’re all in the same house.” Dib said picking up both the lenses and wig. He worried Tak did do something to them, but he didn’t think they would notice immediately if Zim wore them, but he also didn’t share this with him. He felt the texture of the wig and even brought it to his face to smell it.

“So no sewage this time?” Zim asked slightly peeved.

“I told you, I didn’t know about it.” Dib asserted.

“But you assumed?”

“Yeah, I did.” He said flatly and went back to inspecting the disguise. The wig was ratty when he gave it to Tak and it still was, but any grime that it had before was gone. The only problem was that it smelled like she dipped it in a very harsh chemical solution. Besides that it looked fine. The contacts where noticeably cleaner now than they were when Zim gave them to her, but they seemed to have a slight gloss to them which he chalked up to them being cleaner than usual. He rubbed the wig over his hand, and while he did feel a slight irritation he chalked it up to the strength of the chemicals Tak used and not out of some malicious intent of hers. At any rate Tak didn’t expect Zim to wear it tonight so he would be fine without wearing it until later. “Your disguise is fine by the way. It smells like she put it through bleach or something but you should be fine. Maybe just rinse it before you decide to wear it out again.”

Dib slid the wig and contacts across the table to Zim who inspected it once more and said, “Maybe something ten times harsher than bleach. It smells like my skin would burn off if I wore it too long.”

“Well don’t. She’s not expecting you to, so just take it home and clean it yourself.”

Dib’s reasoning satisfied Zim enough, so he took the disguise in a pout. Dib saw him take the wig and contacts in hand and place it around his back where it disappeared into his invisible pak, the only flaw in his otherwise perfect disguise. “How’s the pizza?” He asked lightly after he put his disguise away.

“It’s okay. Bloaty’s is too greasy for me but it’s still pizza.”

As he said this Zim opened the other box of pizza and inspected it briefly as he said, “How much do I owe you for it?”

“You don’t. Tak paid for it.”

Zim slouched back in his chair and continued eating as he said, “So she doesn’t expect me to pay her back. Right?”

“I don’t see why we’d ever have to pay either of you back. Don’t you guys both print money?”

“Kind of.” Zim said as he finished his slice of pizza without the crust and picked another out of the box. “I don’t know what Tak does but I sometimes make Earth money. The Earth authorities sometimes get pissy if I make enough to be noticed, but if I need a lot I just sell some off my stuff on the internet.”

“You sell alien technology on the internet?” Dib said in a slight shock, and then wondered why he was surprised.

“I mean unless you want to buy some. I never post it as alien tech. Just stuff like ‘foreign blender’ or ‘butt scratcher’ or something. That usually sells.”

“I bet they do.” Dib said slightly miffed. He was reminded of the countless times he posted proof of aliens on the web, only for it to go unnoticed or ignored. “If Tak finds out about it you’re dead though.”

“I think we’re both dead once she finds out about what we do on Guy’s Night.” Zim said as the cheese to his pizza fell off, which he caught with his tongue and slurped up.

Dib brought his hand to the bridge of his nose and said embarrassed, “Please stop calling it ‘Guy’s Night.’”

Zim smiled wryly and said smugly, “Why not? Would you prefer it if I wore my _feminine_ disguise more often?” He said as he fluttered his eyelashes.

“No.” Dib almost choked on his pizza as he laughed lightly. “Your wigs are great, but your makeup skills could use some work.”

Zim wasn’t satisfied enough with Dib’s reaction, so he said “I could dress up like Tak again if you want.”

“Hell no!” He said entirely at end with Zim as he let out a loud laugh. He brought his hand to his face, “Why did I bring you there?”

“Because it was hilarious! Wasn’t it hilarious” Zim said laughing to himself.

“Yeah it was.” Dib said unable to keep himself from chuckling, “But I’m pretty sure there were Swollen Eye Balls at the convention. And they’re…smarter, you know?”

“Not really. And besides” Zim started to say flamboyantly, “All my disguises are _flawless_.”

“Yeah well never dress up like Tak again. After today I’m worried someone there would have actually thought it was her and not someone dressed in a shitty costume.”

“That’s okay I’m still trying to perfect my Gaz disguise. I just can’t manage to capture the glare. Hhmp.” Zim closed his eyes and mimicked Gaz’s scowl as he ended.

Dib laughed at his impersonation of Gaz and said, “I don’t know who I’d rather have angry at us. Tak or Gaz?”

“Gaz probably.” Zim said almost instantly, “She doesn’t have death beams like Tak does.”

“That doesn’t stop her.” Dib said proudly. Years ago he would have been hesitant to admit the capabilities Gaz held, which at many times seemed to surpass his own abilities. Recently he’s come to terms with that fact, and appreciated her more as a result, though he still wished he could convince her to take an interest in his hobbies.

“Yeah, it doesn’t.” Zim said almost to himself as he also reminisced on Gaz’s past accomplishments. “Guess that’s why we all became friends in the first place. You guys really are exceptional humans.”

“I don’t really think so. Or at least that’s not all of it. You and Tak are pretty exceptional Irkens. Least out of all the Irkens I’ve ever meet.”

“Yeah…” Zim trailed off as his gaze left Dib and then ended somewhat arrogantly, “I am pretty amazing compared to most.” Dib was about to say something in response to Zim and his typical egotistical response, not to say he was upset by it. Over the years of their friendship he’s found his bombastic personality to be a charming quality of his, but he always liked to take him down a peg when he could. Before he could say anything, he was interrupted by the sound of the oven’s timer going off. After which, Zim yelled out to the living room, “Gir your stuff is ready!” He yelled out Gir’s name a second time after he failed to hear a response.

“I’m busy!” Gir yelled back to the kitchen in sing-song.

Zim was about to yell back at him, but Dib interrupted him as he yelled and said the two of them could take care of it themselves. They made their way to the oven and Dib opened the door while Zim crouched next to him, and inside was a full tray of cookies. It was also splattered with what they assumed to be batter all along the inside, and it smelled like it was starting to burn. “They look done enough.” Dib said, “And we should probably turn off the oven before whatever’s on it burns any worse. We just need some oven mitts.”

“Don’t worry, I got it.” Zim said as he gently pushed Dib out of the way. He backed up a bit and saw two of Zim’s pak legs extrude from his back, breaking his disguise again, and reach into the oven to pull out the tray and place it on top of the oven. “There we go.” Zim said happily as he retracted his pak legs and brushed off his hands, “I’ll have Gir clean everything else some time tonight or tomorrow before we leave.”

“Sure, but the oven should be able to clean itself.” Dib said as he went to activate the oven’s self-cleaning function and was surprised when it failed to work. He opened the oven and tried to activate it again before he called out annoyed, “Gir, what did you break?”

“Nothing!” Gir called out cheerily from the living room.

“Gir, get in here now!” Zim yelled to him, stating it as a command. The two of them heard a shuffle from the living room as Gir skipped into the kitchen and said hello to them.

“Did you do anything to the oven?” Dib asked concerned.

“Besides use it, no.” Gir said uncaringly

“Well whatever you did broke it.” Zim said disappointed with his arms folded to him.

Gir was surprised by Zim’s claim and walked over to the oven and said, “It was working fine a minute ago.” He turned the oven to its max setting and stuck his hand inside of it to feel the heat. He brought out his hand as it glowed with heat and said satisfied, “Yeah it’s still working.”

“No, not the heating part. The cleaning part.” Dib said worried as he shut off the oven and closed the door.

“Oh.” Gir said blankly as he stared for a moment at Dib, “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Zim asked skeptically and Gir replied with affirmation. After which he continued, “I find it hard to believe that it just stopped working suddenly all on its own. Especially since you were the last one to use it.”

“Uh…” Gir trailed off as he rubbed the side of his arm and looked away at the ceiling. Dib was unsure of the exact reason for his reaction, he thought it was possible Gir was just afraid of the bad situation the oven being broken put him in. He wanted to subdue Zim from him so he said,

“It’s probably not him. Our stuff breaks all the time, even our dishwasher broke last week and we’re still trying to get it fixed.”

“Well whatever, I still want you to clean up this mess you made.”

“But the party’s just started.” Gir pleaded as he grabbed onto Zim who was unphased by his begging, “I’m still playing with Kitty. Please!” Gir wailed as he clung onto Zim, who was unphased as he crossed his arms disappointed with him.

“Let him go play with Kitty. Mimi – I mean Mimi.” Dib said as he corrected himself, “So long as he cleans up before you guys leave I’m okay with it.”

Zim let out an annoyed grunt before he relented and said, “I want you to clean this up tonight while we’re sleeping. We need a clean kitchen tomorrow for us at breakfast. That’s an order.”

“Yes Sir!” Gir said as his voice and demeanor morphed into duty mode, but as quickly as it came it faded away and they saw him hop away back to the living room, joyful and relieved to go back to his games.

Neither of them spoke for a moment as they watched him skip into the living room. A moment after he was out of sight Zim went back to the table and said disgruntled, “You were too easy on him.”

“You’re one to talk.” Dib jabbed at him as he went back to the table with him, “When have you ever not given into his begging?”

“I’ve been trying not to.” Zim defended quickly as grabbed another slice from the box, “You at least have to be hard on him when does something wrong. I don’t really like seeing him that way but it’s the only way he learns.”

“You sound like a parent when you talk about it like that.” Dib said absent mindedly as he helped himself to more pizza.

His comment gave Zim a moment of pause between his chewing before he replied, “I wouldn’t call our relationship a ‘parental’ one.” He said with a full mouth and then finished before he continued, “I’ve paid attention to human parents and their kids, apart from you guys and your dad. I don’t coddle Gir as much as they would, I think anyway. If I had to compare us to a human relationship for me and him I’d say friends but closer, maybe brothers?” Zim ended in a question. It was clear to Dib that’s he’s thought about this before, but he was still very unsure what they were exactly to each other. “We’re definitely not just coworkers, even if that’s what we were supposed to be.”

“But you’re still his superior? I mean military style, which I guess is how Irken society works.”

“Yeah that’s close enough.” Zim said absent mindedly, “I mean I still have him do stuff for me, but a lot of the time we just hang out if it’s just us two. So we’re kind of closer to equals but not quite.”

“That’s why you gave him the human disguise and bigger body?”

“Not really. You know he wouldn’t stop bothering me about making him taller after it started happening to me. The ‘brother’ disguise just seemed like the easiest way to take him out. That, or I’d make him into a Great-Dane, which I was thinking about for a while.”

Dib chuckled at Zim’s reveal, “Could you imagine it? He’d be walking on two legs all the time, bright green, and probably just as talkative if not more. Oh, Tak would have gone crazy when she upgraded your disguises.”

“She still goes crazy. I don’t get why, especially after today.”

“Eh, I wouldn’t worry too much about. Gir definitely likes his disguise, and you don’t hate yours. Do you?”

Zim was quiet for a moment as he brought up his arms to turn over and examine them. Taking note of his disguised skin, its texture, and his five fingers which sometimes made him forget he only had three. “It’s okay.” He finally said after his inspection. “You know we’ve been dealing with it since she joined our friend group, and I still like to wear my old one out every now and again. But being able to walk into Skool or down the street with Gir and not get weird looks everywhere I go…It’s pretty good. Not going to lie.”

They were both quiet for a moment after he finished, and Dib was nodding in quiet satisfaction. “Yeah, you two could get along if you really wanted to.”

Zim let out a huff of air as he looked off to the ceiling, “Don’t expect a miracle.” He said annoyed, “But if you want me to give her a peace offering tell her the pizza without cheese is for her. It’s supposed to be anyway. Since she has a problem with Earth cheese for some reason.”

“She likes cheese, she’s just kind of picky.” Dib said. He’s had some success with introducing her to Earth cuisine, but he wasn’t sure if her body had a sensitive reaction to some of the food here or if it was more of a mental thing. She’s been trying more Earth food lately, but it still had to be heavily processed, and even if it was it could still cause her problems like the nacho cheese the other night at the arcade. “But that’s really cool you did that for her. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it.” Zim didn’t say anything but looked to him with an exhausted and skeptical expression. “She will.” Dib assured him, “She might not say it aloud or maybe even admit it to herself but she does. She likes when people think of her. We all do.”

“Yeah well…” Zim started but paused before he continued, “Don’t expect us interacting much tonight, if at all. At least if we don’t want a problem.”

“That’s fine. Tak wants the same thing.” Dib said but was worried for a moment that what he said may have insulted Zim a bit. He showed no signs of being upset so he continued, “Want to head back to the living room and see what everyone else is doing.”

“Sure. I don’t think you guys want to watch me and Gaz play Sonic, but I could go for a movie.”

The two of them made their way to the living room. Mimi was still playing with Gir, who was now cuddling and petting her where they sat. Then they were surprised to see Tak and Gaz sitting on the couch playing a video game together, and as they entered they were greeted by a frustrated grunt from Tak. After her grunt she turned to Gaz and said annoyed, “I thought you said the goal of this game is to obtain speed?”

“It is.” She said back smirking to her.

“Then why on Irk would they punish me for it?” Tak said brushing a hand through her hair as she gestured to the television. Dib went up to the back end of the couch and leaned on it while the two of them were talking. He asked them what happened, then Tak replied, “I just finished killing the boss, and I was running down this hill until I fell into this pit with jump pads and each side, so I used the momentum I got from them and jumped out. And immediately after doing that I run straight into this giant swinging ball with spikes! And I couldn’t react to it, or the controller couldn’t read my inputs in time, so I just ended up eating it!” She brushed her hand through her hair again still upset at what happened and said, “What is the point of this design?”

“It’s to keep you own your toes.” Gaz said teasingly to her. The game was paused now and she reclined back on the couch stretching.

“But even from an objective standpoint, there was no way I could have reacted to it in time unless I knew it was going to happen. The only point this is trying to say is preparatory memorization of an area before exploring is key.” She stated coldly and crossed her arms after she finished.

“There isn’t supposed to be a point. It’s a _game_.” Gaz replied to her. She had no further response and was silent for a moment until Zim chimed in,

“If it makes you feel better Sonic One has a worse trap. You just run down this hallway into a wall of spikes. I think I moaned about it for half hour when it happened. And I think it was on level with a similar name. Marble zone right?” Tak stared at the television the whole time with her arms crossed as he spoke. His last comment was to Gaz, but before she could have given a response Tak replied,

“It doesn’t matter.” She said as she raised her arms up, “It’s all stupid anyway.”

“Well if you’re all set, I think we can do something else.” Gaz as she started to grab up the controllers.

Tak snatched her own controller out of her lap away from Gaz and said tensely, “No. I’m not done.”

“What happened to us playing Sonic?” Zim said somewhat peeved raising an eyebrow to Gaz.

“You were taking too long in the kitchen. But honestly right now I could just go for watching a movie or something.”

“So we’re just done playing then?” Tak asked somewhat confused.

“I’m down for anything.” Dib said not reading Tak’s confusion as he left the back end of the couch and went over to the armchair. “What movies did you guys bring?”

“Nothing too crazy.” Zim started to say as he went to collect the plastic bag he brought the movies in, “_Scary Movie_,_ Spirited Away_,_ Aliens_,_ Star Wars_. What are you guys feeling?”

“I haven’t seen _Spirited Away _in a while, I could go for that.” Gaz said.

“What’s that movie about?” Tak asked interested. She hadn’t seen too much Earth media besides what Gaz and Dib showed her. She found most of what they showed her to be unappealing, with her and Gaz’s taste having a bit more overlap than Dib’s. She knew part of the point of showing up tonight was to watch more Earth media, but besides _Star Wars_ (a movie she found both boring and unrealistic) she was unfamiliar with the other titles.

“It’s good. You’ll like it.” Was all Dib said to her, which didn’t win her over but she felt better about her chances of liking it knowing that both Gaz and Dib liked it.

“That works for me. So are we watching it?” Zim asked, which caused Dib and Gaz to look to Tak, and at feeling the slight pressure from them she gave in. She sighed and said,

“Yeah, let’s watch it.”

“Nice.” Said Zim as he jumped onto the couch next to Gaz, opposite from Tak. This caused Gaz to be pushed to the side into her, which took up more of the couch. Tak was slightly annoyed by the decrease in room and noted Dib had the entire armchair all to himself, which she thought was really her chair as she claimed it when she arrived here first. She considered moving from the couching and sitting on top of Dib on the armchair, but she found she wasn’t brave or bold enough to act on her feelings in that way.

The party went smoothly for the rest of the night after they agreed to watch the movie. Tak found it _interesting_ to say the least, it was her first time seeing it. At first she found the story and the main character annoying, unbelievable, and too fantastical for her taste, but by the end of the movie she wished it could have been longer. Zim provided his commentary throughout it, as per usual with any piece of media he took part in. Tak made her best effort to ignore him at first, but by the end of the movie when she was engrossed in it as she hugged a pillow and was actively shushing him. The rest of the night continued in similar fashion, as they all consumed movies and shows while talking with one another. Tak had even tried one of Gir’s cookies, which she was pleased to find (but also loathed to admit) was actually quite delicious. She was able to enjoy the company of Dib and Gaz, and ignore Zim and Gir, the latter of which having been of no concern or bother to her at all. So she found it somewhat acceptable that Mimi had occupied his attention, but she was still upset she disobeyed her orders. As the night went on Dib, Gaz, and even Zim had changed into their pajamas, so towards the latter half of the night Tak wanted to change into hers as well. She excused herself from the party and went to Gaz’s room to change, and brought Gaz’s hoodie for her as a favor.

She grabbed her backpack from the front door and made her way up the stairs of the Membrane’s house. She heard the mixed noise of the living room from the movie and everyone’s commentary on it as she made her way up. She’d been in their house multiple times now, both as an infiltrating enemy, which seemed so long ago to her, and now more recently as a visiting friend. The house itself was beginning to gain some sense of familiarity for her because of this, but she still found herself taking in the finer details of it from time to time. She found the primitivity of it rather quaint, yet she told herself she could never live like this. She’s use to her lab, with her experiments, her new ship which she flew out every now and again, and above her main base the expansive human mansion, empty save for robot servants and all the comforts Earth could provide. While she thought about her nearly empty home she examined the family photos littered across the wall of the stairs, as she was habit to do. Even though she found the photographs quaint she always wondered why their father, The Professor Membrane, would keep their home so relatively primitive. She thought something even as simple as a screen would be more efficient for displaying all their images, rather than still photos. She knew his underground lab was much more advanced than their above house, nowhere near as advanced as her own base, or maybe even Zim’s, but she thought it would be almost impossible to tell if she didn’t already know. “Maybe he’s just used to the way he used to live.” Tak thought to herself as she spied what looked to be a very old photo of who she assumed to be a young Professor Membrane. He was small but still wearing a lab coat with goggles, conflicting with the rural farm area in the background. She looked further up the wall and spied a more recent photo of the three Membranes together, posing for a family photo. Gaz looked to be much happier than she normally looks, same as Dib, while The Professor held the two of them in a hug on either side of him. “I’m sure he’s a good father.” Tak thought, “Even with all their slight misgivings they have with him.” She was distracted from her thoughts as she caught Mimi following her up the stairs from the corner of her eye. She was slightly surprised, since she had been spending nearly the entire night with Gir even at her initial forbidding. She was about to say something to her about her change in behavior, but thought there was no point to it. She continued up the stairs towards Gaz’s room without addressing her, and Mimi followed her in tow without a word.

She opened the door to Gaz’s room and saw Mimi scoot under her legs into it, then she hopped unto Gaz’s bed and sat down as she began grooming herself. Without speaking Tak let herself into the room, turned on a light switch, and closed the door behind her lethargically. Tak had been in Gaz’s room multiple times now and thought it wasn’t typically what a human girl’s room would look like, if what she had seen in Earth media was anything to go by. There were no bright colors, no posters of movie or rock stars on the wall, and it didn’t reek of perfume. Her bed was against a wall on one side of the room, on it was a plain blanket burgundy in color, and on the floor were two sleeping bags she assumed her and Gaz would be using tonight. The room itself had very dark colors, which was only exacerbated by the fact that the light in her room needed a bulb changed. The only thing on the wall was a photo of her family above her bed and a few posters of video games Gaz enjoyed. She saw a few other clothes littered on the ground by her closet, so she decided to add to the pile and throw Gaz’s Game station hoodie there. As she did she looked at her desk where she kept her video game equipment and spied a half-eaten sandwich with a drink. Every time Tak went into her room she was reminded how atypical Gaz was compared to other females of her species, and was delighted every time she was as it made her own isolation feel lessened.

She threw her backpack next to the desk and stood in front of the mirror on the closet door. Then she began changing into her pajamas she brought with her. She didn’t get much further than removing her t-shirt, after which she stood in front of the mirror and examined her disguised body. She made her human disguise as convincing as possible, but she also tried to create a human body that was similar in proportions to her Irken form, if only because she wanted to feel comfortable in her disguise. Her body had none of the curves a typical human female would have, because of this she had even been mocked by some of the more preppy school girls for being ‘flat’ as they called her. She considered altering her disguise to give her more pronounced curves that the other human females had. Both to potentially improve the validity of her disguise and because she thought perhaps Dib would prefer it, though she was very ashamed to admit it. She had even brought up the idea to Dib of potentially updating her disguise, but he told her that he liked the way her disguise looked, which did help to alleviate some reservations she had about it. Regardless, she still found herself looking at her half-naked torso in the mirror with some disfavor. She passed her hand over her body and sighed to herself as she looked in the mirror. As she did she saw in the background that Mimi had stopped grooming herself and was now staring at her from the bed.

Tak turned around, feeling oddly violated and said to her irritated, “Would you stop staring at me!?” She threw her shirt at Mimi in retaliation, which she was able to avoid. Tak then knelt down to her backpack and rummaged through it for her pajamas as she said still annoyed, “What on Irk are you doing that for anyway?”

Mimi didn’t respond immediately, as she seemed to be deciding what to say. Mimi then communicated to Tak in telepathy in a tone that feigned innocence, “_Ma’am, Why do you wear human clothes on top of your disguise?_”

Tak was taken slightly aback by her question, not so much at the question itself but at the fact that Mimi choose now to ask it. She didn’t wear human clothes all the time but she’s been doing it off and on over the past few months. She decided to do it one day on a whim after seeing clothes in a store that captured her interest, but instead of merely altering her disguise to match it she went in and bought the outfit. Mimi didn’t comment on the act immediately when it happened but she later gave a brief remark on her ‘going native’ after she was wearing them, which Tak laughed off at the time. She wasn’t entirely sure why she decided to wear human clothes with her disguise. Part of it was simply an impulsive decision, and part of it was the fact that she knew Zim’s been doing it for years, which put the idea into her head, but she would hate to admit that. She stopped for a moment in rummaging through her backpack to give her response and said, “It’s…to make my disguise more convincing.” She lied through her teeth, but she didn’t even know what the full truth was.

Mimi merely nodded her head slowly in agreement but said afterwards in the same tone as before, “_Is that the reason why you’ve rendered human genitals and other body parts on your disguise as well?_”

“Yes.” Was all Tak said in response. She was close to ignoring her as she brought out her pajama shirt and held it up to look at. It was a light gray t-shirt with the bottom cut short, and it would expose the naval of her disguise once it was on.

As she was dressing Mimi said, “_May I ask what the point of doing that was Ma’am? Considering no one will ever see that?_” The innocent tone she had was gone now, and she was now communicating in one that was clearly aggravated.

Tak pulled her shirt over her head and said with growing annoyance, “I don’t know. Isn’t that the point of all the human experiments we’ve been doing? To better understand their biology?” She ended spreading her arms out in question as she stood up.

“_I thought our experiments were for something else Ma’am._” Mimi said matter-of-factly.

“They were, and still are.” Tak responded plainly and began going through her backpack again. The human experiments she’s been completing have become two-fold, but their primary goal still remained the same. It has always been to better understand human biology, but the main purpose behind it was to understand what has happened to her body, and if the planet or its residents could supply an answer. Relatively soon after arriving on this planet Tak began growing taller, but that was the tamest of things to happen. The chemical composition of her entire body has changed and developed into new ways that amazed and horrified her, mostly horrified. She found some similarity in the change that humans undergo when they mature and originally thought of ways to revert or at least stall her changes by experimenting on humans. The initial desire to revert the changes has mostly left her, but she still experiments in hopes of understanding them so that she won’t be completely caught off guard. Similarly, just as she wanted the silhouette of her human disguise to match her Irken form, she also found it fitting to match the intricacies of her disguise to her own body, to the best of her knowledge. She of course did not share this information with Mimi. Tak finished going through her backpack and found the bottoms to her pajamas, a pair of purple short-shorts with an elastic band.

She began removing her jeans to change into them as Mimi laid on the bed and said to her with some concern, “_We haven’t made much progress on our original goal Ma’am._”

Tak wasn’t paying too much attention to her as she changed and said absent mindedly to her, “Well, that’s kind of taken a back seat now. If you haven’t noticed.”

Mimi didn’t say anything else to her after she replied. She merely laid on the bed and watched her superior change. She took note of her thin legs and feet that were now barefoot, and studied the plain black underwear she was wearing as she slipped on her pajamas. Mimi rolled on the bed for a moment agonizing over something until she sat up slightly and said accusingly to Tak, “_Why are you pretending so hard to be human?_”

Tak stopped changing for a moment in shock as she registered what her SIR unit said to her. She had already finished changing but she left her hands by her hips after she put on her bottoms. She turned around and said to Mimi, “I’m not pretending to be anything. It’s a _disguise_.” She emphasized the word as she gestured to herself while she spoke.

Mimi replied exasperated as she rolled on the bed, “_A disguise that’s clearly more work than necessary. As we saw today all that’s needed is a wig and some contacts to pass for human._”

“Oh I’m sorry.” Tak said insulted, “Should I deactivate your disguise and just have you walk around in a rabbit suit all day? Like you said my disguises are more work than their worth.” Tak folded her arms over her chest and turned away from Mimi as she finished.

“_Your disguises are wonderful, same as everything you do Ma’am._” Mimi said apologetically sitting up on the bed. “_It’s just that…_” Mimi started, trying to find the right words to use.

“I’m going native?” Tak finished for her turning around with a raised eyebrow.

“_No._” Mimi started, “_You’re deluding yourself Ma’am._”

Tak entire body tensed up at Mimi’s accusation, “I am not deluding myself.” She began to say enraged. She brought he hands to her hair and swept it back violently. As she finished she left her hands at the end of her hair where her antennas would be and pulled them. She hurt herself by doing so but it’s easier for her to focus on the pain than on how she felt. “Look.” She began again, “I know we’re a long ways from Irk and being the Invader we deserve to be, but we can’t do anything about it.” She picked up her clothes and violently stuffed them into her bag as she spoke, “The only thing we can do now is accept what happened and live our life in peace on this miserable planet.”

“_Well you haven’t always been fighting back as hard as you could be._” Mimi communicated to her, it sounded like something she meant to think to herself. Even if it wasn’t she clearly regretted what she said when Tak turned around and glared holes into her.

Mimi shrank down in fear on the bed as Tak said mockingly, “Really? Cause I can recall you saying plenty of times, ‘_you need to be more cautious Ma’am_’ or ‘_You’re taking these experiments too quickly,_’ and ‘_you’re only hurting yourself Ma’am._’ Why it seems to me that whether I’m just trying to live my life in peace or **_mutilating_** myself to try to resemble something close to what I was before all this you can’t help but find some fault in whatever it is I’m doing!” Tak stood up and walked over to the bed where Mimi laid down. She looked small, afraid, and very sorry. None of these things instilled any emotion in Tak as she picked up her shirt she threw at Mimi earlier. As she did and stuffed it into the bag she said still mockingly to Mimi, “I know what this is about by the way.” Mimi didn’t say anything but looked up at her from the bed confused. “You’re upset that I didn’t give you my permission to play with the defective little SIR unit.” Mimi’s ears pricked up at that and her expression changed to indignation, but she didn’t speak and let Tak finish. “Even though you disobeyed my orders and played with it anyway.” She picked up her shirt and violently stuffed it into her bag as she said, “That’s why you’re up here, being all pissy with me on changes you’ve embraced harder than I have. Ever thought about how hard you pretend to be a cat?” Tak ended her statement in harsh accusation as she glared at her SIR unit.

Mimi expression changed to one calm and obedient. She said to Tak, “_I’m only following my programming Ma’am. What protocol would you prefer me to follow?_”

Tak didn’t say anything for a moment and threw her bag to the side of the bed by her boots and then said sternly, “You are going to remain quiet, for the rest of the night, and for as long as we’re here.” She began walking towards the door and added before she opened it, “You are permitted to play with the defect.” She turned around and pointed at her as she added, “But any sign of interference from him on your design, whether purposeful or not, and I will take you back to the base and take you apart bit by bit and turn you into something less disrespectful and more obedient. Are we clear?”

Mimi didn’t respond via her communicator but nodded her head up and down in affirmation.

“Good.” Was all Tak said in response. She opened the door and said to her, “You are dismissed.” Mimi complied as she jumped off the bed and walked out of the room past Tak and down the hall to downstairs. Tak slammed the door as she herself stepped out and heard something fall and break inside the room after she did. She cringed in worry as she heard it and turned back to open the room and see what it is she broke. She looked inside the room for anything out of order. All of her posters where still on the wall, the mirror was untouched, the glass on her desk was fine and so was her gaming equipment. “That’s a relief.” She thought to herself. She would make a new setup for Gaz a hundred times better than anything she has now but would hate to have the conversation that _she_ was the one who broke it. Being satisfied and relieved that nothing inside the room was wrong to her knowledge she closed the door and looked around the hallway. Nothing was out of sorts. She leaned against the door to Gaz’s room, let out a sigh of relief and said, “Stupid door. Why does The Professor keep this place so primitive?” As she said this she looked down at herself and the outfit she wore. She picked at her shirt in her hand and groaned to herself, “What on Irk am I doing?” After she said this she looked up at the pictures on the wall of the Membranes. Various pictures of Dib, Gaz, and even their father in various places, all of them happy and enjoying whatever the occasion was that called for a photograph. “I’m here to enjoy myself and have fun.” Tak thought to herself as she admired them. She thought Dib and Gaz would be on her for being so bummed out about something somebody said to her, even if the one who said it to her was Mimi. She decided to push all those feelings away, she’s been looking forward to tonight for weeks. She was going to enjoy it.

She walked down the hallway and downstairs back to the living room where everyone still was. Zim and Gaz took up the space of the entire couch, and Dib was in the chair. The show they watched was just about over and they talked to one another while they ignored whatever was on the television. She spied Mimi and Gir playing on the ground, with less enthusiasm than before, but everyone was still enjoying themselves, so she decided she would too.

“What’d I miss?” Tak said as she went to the back of the chair Dib was in.

“That took a bit longer than expected. Everything good?” Dib said to her from the chair, some concern in his voice.

She brushed his concern away and said, “Mimi and I were just talking for bit. Nothing to worry about.” After she gave her explanation she hopped onto the chair Dib was in and laid across the armrests of the chair over his lap. The hesitation she had that prevented her from doing it before was gone, or at least she wanted to distract herself and him from what was bothering her. “So, what are we doing?” She said cozily as she hugged the side of him.

“We were thinking of a Smash tournament in teams.” Gaz said.

“What is that again?” Tak asked.

“You played it with Gaz before.” Dib said, “It’s the fighting game with all the different characters.”

“Gaz, didn’t you call it Tekken earlier?”

“What? No.” Gaz said slightly disgusted with Tak’s confusion, “Smash is the one that’s a cross-over of a whole bunch of video games characters. They look like cartoons, you played as Samus. The girl in the orange robot suit.”

“Oh.” Tak said as she remembered being introduced to that game by her. Gaz had shown it to her after she played against her in Tekken for the first time and enjoyed it. Gaz had hoped that she’d enjoy it, since it was also a fighting game, but Tak found the depth of the video game somewhat lacking, and also said the art style did not appeal to her. “I vaguely remember you showing me that, yes. Has everyone already decided on playing it?”

“Yeah but we haven’t figured out teams yet.” Dib said, “I thought it could be me and you Vs. Gaz and Zim.”

Almost immediately after Dib finished Zim interjected, “Which I refused!” I’m still annoyed that Gaz decided to play Sonic without me, and with _you _all people. So I’m ready to carry Dib and enact my rightful vengeance against you!” He finished pointing to Gaz who merely brushed his hand away lazily and replied unimpressed,

“Which I’m more than fine with. I could go for boys Vs. girls.”

The idea delighted Tak. Partly because she knew she would win easily with Gaz and because she was interested with the idea of a battle of the sexes. The differences of male and female was not something acknowledge in the empire, apart from visual differences. She thought that was better than one side thinking that the other was inferior, but she liked the idea of belonging to a group. She said happily, “And I would be more than happy with winning. Sounds good to me.”

After they agreed the four of them began setting up to play their competition. Mimi and Gir were not included nor were they interested in playing. Gir was quietly sitting in their corner of the room while he played a small hand held video game and Mimi was resting on his lap as he did so. Zim and Dib won rock-paper-scissors for the couch, so they got to sit in it while Tak and Gaz had to sit on the floor. Tak had originally chosen Samus the first time she played, as she found its armor very neutral in appearance, so it was easy for her to relate to it. Once she was at the character select screen she noticed the blue character from the game she was playing with Gaz earlier was a choice. So she opted to play as it instead. Gaz choose Luigi, Dib choose Link, and Zim choose Mr. Game and Watch. Gaz had originally opted to play without items in their fight but Dib and Zim insisted they were aloud, she relented on the condition that friendly fire was turned on as a condition.

After the details of the competition was decided, the game finally began. Tak had to learn the particulars of her character as she played but found it rather easy, as most of the principles she learned in her first playing still applied to her knew character. She also noted that unless she was a total detriment to the team Gaz would be able to defeat Dib and Zim easily, but they were their own worst enemy. With friendly fire on the two of them caused damage to each other multiple times and by the time they were beginning to lose they were bickering with one another and completely ignored the game. Tak found the two of them bickering quiet amusing, and was also pleased that her victory was assured. She let out a light laugh as the two of them continued, but was surprised to hear a small groan come from Gaz beside her. “Your boyfriend is an idiot.” She said annoyed to her as she played.

Tak had to keep herself from laughing but still said very amused, “Hey, he’s your brother.”

“Don’t remind me.” Was all Gaz said. That was the end of their discussion and in very little time the two of them had achieved victory over the two of them. Zim had actually killed Dib at the last moment when his character was on his last bit of health, and Tak let out a laugh after seeing it. Once everything was done Zim had his arms crossed and sulked as he claimed Dib was responsible for their loss. Gaz didn’t say much to any of their bickering but Tak was quiet pleased with their accomplishments. She stretched her arms up and said, very please,

“Well that was fun. So, what’s our plan for the remainder of the night?”

“I don’t know.” Said Dib somewhat annoyed with Zim still, “We could watch another movie or just hang out for a bit.” He turned and looked to a clock on the wall that read 11:47 PM and said, “It’s not even midnight so…”

At the word ‘midnight’ he was interrupted by the sound of Gir repeating the word in shock. He got up from his place with Mimi and ran over to the back of the couch and grabbed lightly onto Zim as he said, “Master, we missed my walk! Can we go now please?” Zim only responded with an annoyed and drawn out, “Gir.” As he attempted to shake him off.

“Walk?” Tak asked confused.

“From back when he was a dog.” Zim began, “He got into this annoying habit of begging me to take him on one every other week for like two hours at night.”

“But the first one we did was so much fun!” Gir replied gleefully.

“Wandering around for two days looking for our base was not fun.” Zim said sternly.

“We don’t have to go that long. Maybe just around the neighborhood, or to our house and back, maybe we can stop at Taco-Shack on the way?” Gir began prattling on as he got lost in the places he wanted to go to tonight and Zim interrupted him by calling out his name again irritated. “Please! Please! Please!” Gir began begging incessantly after Zim spoke.

Tak snickered slightly to herself as she watched the scene unfold. While she found the two of them annoying and worried about Gir’s influence over Mimi, she couldn’t help but laugh at Zim’s inability to control his SIR unit and the rather childish way in which he acted.

“I thought you were having fun tonight?” Zim started to say, “Haven’t you been doing almost nothing but play with Mimi since we got here?”

“Can Kitty come too!?” Gir stopped his pleading immediately and beamed at the possibility of Mimi coming for their walk.

At that suggestion Tak’s smirk subsided and was replaced with a scowl. She had agreed to let Mimi interact with him but she wasn’t about to let her leave the property in their company. She found herself glaring up the couch at Zim and Gir but neither of them seemed to notice her. Zim expression changed at Gir’s suggestion and looked somewhat concerned. He said, “Uh, no. Mimi should stay.”

Gir whined quietly as he let up on Zim’s shirt. He looked down to the ground for a moment before he looked up to him with a sad expression and said, “We’re not going then?”

Zim still couldn’t handle an entreating stare from Gir, so rather reluctantly he conceded to him. He let out an exaggerated groan as he said, “We can go but we’re not staying out long.” At Zim’s agreement Gir let go of him and ran off to his spot to grab his belongings before they left.

“Are you guys really going on a walk for the rest of the night?” Gaz asked dubiously.

Zim got up from the couch and grabbed his sweatshirt and shoes to put on as he said, “No, we’re not. I’m just taking him around the neighborhood a few times until he’s satisfied.”

“How long are you guys going out?” Gaz asked.

Zim finished putting on his sweater and shoes and said shrugging, “I don’t know. Maybe ten, twenty, thirty minutes? Why, want to tag along?”

Gaz shrugged and stood up as she said, “Eh, I’ll pass. I need to take a shower.” She went to the stairs and called out from it, “I’ll be in my room afterwards, let me know if we’re doing anything else.”

Zim waved to Gaz as she went up and then looked to Dib, “You coming?”

“No. I think I’m good here.” Dib said as he tried to subtly place his hand on Tak’s shoulder. She didn’t say anything about it even though she noticed and was sure Zim did too. He shrugged and said nothing further if he did.

Gir walked up to him as they talked. He had on his dog backpack and green sweater, and a big smile on his face. “You ready?” Zim asked slightly annoyed. Gir gave the affirmative that he was and then they went on their way. “No running off this time. I don’t want the neighbors to have to see me walking you around with a leash on.” He said as they made it to the door.

“Can we hold hands then?” Gir asked hopefully.

“No Gir.” Zim said flatly and Gir responded with a disappointed moan. The last thing heard from them was the door slamming shut. As silence came to the room after the noise of the door faded away Tak stood up from her spot on the ground and sat back down on the couch next to Dib.

“I don’t understand why he tolerates that behavior from his SIR unit.” She began to say as she looked towards the door, “If Mimi acted that way I’d reprogram or maybe even disassemble her.”

Dib exhale a small breathe through his nose as laugh and smiled to her as he said, “I don’t think you would, and he isn’t always easy on Gir. He can be more than a handful, but I think he has his own way of dealing with him.” He made a small yawn and an exaggerated stretch as he brought his arms up and around the back of the couch. “Things went pretty well tonight, all things considered.” He said after he finished.

“Yeah.” Tak said somewhat nervously as she adjusted her hair, “I guess they did.” A small smile creeped up her face as she scooted a bit closer to him, but it left her as something caught her eyes. Mimi sat at the opposite end of the room and watched the two of them; Tak thought with mild judgment. Dib looked around after he noticed she was looking beyond him and also spied Mimi, but he didn’t seem too concerned with her, or at least didn’t say anything if he was. Tak gave her a stern look after Dib turned away, but she did not communicate anything to her. Even without doing so Mimi understood the order, she nodded and walked away, where Tak didn’t know, but she didn’t care so long as she had privacy.

After Mimi was gone Dib turned back around to Tak and noticed she still had a hard look on her face and said a bit concerned, “Everything good?”

She was startled out of her thoughts and replied dismissively, “Yeah, yeah. I just told her to give us some privacy and watch for us.”

“Oh.” Dib said, a little nervous. After she heard his tone the same feeling crept into Tak as well. She brought up her legs and hugged her knees to her chest as she sat on the couch. Dib patted the couch repeatedly and blew a small raspberry.

“Do you mind if I change into something more comfortable?” Tak said breaking the silence.

“Sure.” He said as his voice cracked slightly.

Tak did not notice and only let out a relieved, “Finally.” As she brought her hand to her forearm and turned off her disguise. Her disguise faded away and she was left on the couch as a tall Irkern in human pajamas. She brushed her hands through her antennas repeatedly and looked to Dib, who she thought gave her a more quizzical than normal look. A small panic came over her as she misinterpreted what his look could mean and she said very nervously, “You said your father doesn’t keep cameras in the house right?” She said as she frantically looked around the room for any signs of cameras she may have missed.

Dib laughed and brought down his hands from the back of the couch to his side. “It’s a bit late for that. But yeah, no cameras. That’s not why I’m staring though.” He pointed at Tak’s shirt which caused her to look down at herself to find what he was pointing at, still confused as to what it was. “You’re wearing human clothes.” He said.

The realization finally came to her, she fiddle with one of her antennas with her fingers as she trailed off looking away from him, “Yeah, I haven’t really been doing this very long. Just a few months, and I don’t even know why I’m doing this. It’s stupid.” She finished saying the last part under her breathe to herself.

“No.” Dib reassured her as he grabbed her free hand on the couch. “You look good.” He looked at her and their eyes meet each other’s. They did not say anything further and only stared, after what seemed like both an instant and an eternity the two of them found themselves moving their faces closer towards one another. Before their faces meet Tak broke the silence of the room and asked,

“Earlier today,” she attempted to speak smoothly, but she felt her entire body was laced with stress. “What did you think I called you to the closet for?” It was something that was bothering her mind the entire day, and he never gave an answer to her when she asked.

Dib retreated from her and a pained look came over his face as it turned slightly red, he did not realize she was nervous as well. He removed his hand from hers and rubbed the back of his neck with it as he struggle with what to say and admired the ceiling. “That…Oh that…I was just-really I was just…uh…”

Before he could stammer further he was interrupted as Tak placed her hand on him. He stopped immediately at her touch and looked at her. Their gaze meet each other’s again and Tak tried to find words for what to say. She was unable to find any and silence entered the room again, and in the silence and tenderness of the moment the two found themselves leaning towards each other again until they kissed each other. Tak wasn’t sure what Dib misinterpreted her messages as, but she had a few ideas. She decided whatever it was, was not important now, but if it was what she thought was most likely she was sure she was not ready for that level of intimacy. Not to say she didn’t want to be close to him, far from it. 

As they kissed she found her arms around the back of his head and felt her antennas bend of the top of his head. The later was an involuntary reaction that would sometimes happen to her when she was more intimate with Dib, but the exact reason and purpose behind it eluded her, as many parts of her body still did. Their kiss grew more passionate and involved, and Tak felt her tongue and his explore each other’s mouth more heavily. Dib leaned into her as they kissed and caused her to lean back onto the couch, leaving Dib lying on top of her as they did. As she laid on her back one of her hands found itself leaving the back of his head and down his back. Then Tak felt the warm touch of one of his hand on her waist as it began going up her shirt and reached the bottom of her pak. She wondered that if things went any further whether she would have resisted or merely gone along with it, and experience what could happen. In that moment however, she was interrupt by a familiar voice in her head,

“_Ma’am…? Ma’am…hear me?_” Mimi was attempting to communicate with her and she sound very concerned, but for whatever reason her signal was coming through with interference. It could have been the problem from earlier today resurfacing, or it was caused by Tak’s mind being preoccupied. She did not care what the reason was, much less why Mimi was bothering her, as she had ordered her to be silent for the rest of the night, and was still upset with her. She ignored her but another message came, “_…There’s a…We have to…_”

“_Then take care of it._” Tak communicated to her sternly in between her kisses, which she found difficult and annoying to do.

Her messages still continued, and from the little Tak could tell from them it seemed with increasing urgency, “_I can’t! You n-…_”

Tak meant to communicate ‘I’m busy’ to her, but she was too preoccupied to do even that. All she did was pull away from Dib for a moment as she mouthed, “Busy.” In a short of breath exhale that was barely more than a whisper. In the moment their lips where apart from each other Dib noticed that she said something but did not understand her, which caused him to reply with a brief “Huh?” After he did Tak pulled his face back into hers and they continued kissing. Mimi replied for the last time,

“_Ma-… -‘re disg-…h-…door!_”

Almost immediately after Tak registered her message, she heard the sound of the front door opening, and after that the boisterous sound of Professor Membrane’s voice, “Oh family, I’m home!”

After hearing that, the two of them stopped in their kissing and looked to one another as they laid on the couch together in a moment of collective shock. Dib looked her up and down and said in a hoarse whisper, “Tak! Your disguise!”

After she came to attention, and realized what was going on she immediately went to her system, only to find a similar issue with it from earlier. She swore under her breathe as she tried to fix it but before she could Professor Membrane had already entered the living room. “Hello, Dib? Are you in here?” He said as he entered, and after seeing Dib on top of an undisguised Tak he let out a shocked exclamation.

Dib sat back up instantly and leaned over the back end of the couch, he had his head cradled in one hand as he titled it slightly and said as cheerily as possible, “Oh dad, home already?” After Dib was off of her Tak slithered out from under him and rolled off the couch as she ran towards the door, still with her disguise off. She ran past the professor as he turned around to look at her in surprise. Dib exclaimed, “I can explain!” and fell off the couch face first into the floor.

His father spun around from Tak for a moment and said to him, “Explain what?” in shocked confusion. Tak made her way to the door and grabbed Dib’s trench coat that hanged on the wall while the two of them were distracted. She put on his coat to hide herself and went out the front door. She stood there leaning against the door as she fiddle with her system, she entreated and swore for it to work, but to no avail. She heard the sounds of dogs barking and car alarms going off which made her anxiety flare to the nth degree. It was one thing to walk through the city in a wig and contacts, but another thing to be seen in Dib’s neighborhood without anything at all. Finally, she was able to collect herself and managed to work part of her system and activated her cloaking device, just in time. The door she leaned on swung open behind her, and she stumbled forward and spun around to see Professor Membrane staring out of it. Although she knew he was not able to see her and that her best course of action should have been to run away, she was frozen in fear like a deer in headlights. The Professor had always been an intimidating figure for her, even when she first meet him in person. Dib was tall but The Professor towered above most humans, and he looked gigantic to Tak as she hunched over in fear under his front porch. In the dim light of the night the lab goggles he wore looked like the eyes of an Irken, and in many ways Tak had thought him similar to The Tallest. Skilled and experienced beyond belief, enigmatic and impossible to understand, and distant from the world and those who loved him most. In many ways she saw herself in a position she feared most, the weak and unworthy presented before The Tallest only to be shunned and discarded. And then, as quickly as this vision came, it ended. He removed his goggles from his face and Tak saw his eyes, they were human and like Dib’s, hazel in color. He looked through her and then extended his head out the door to look at either direction, once he was satisfied he closed the door behind him, and Tak could hear him say, “It looks like your little friend is gone.”

* * *

It felt like an eternity between the relief hitting her and the sound of the door clicking shut. When she came to, she ran a few housed down from the Membrane’s and dove into a bush to huddle in as she tried to fix her system. She turned down her cloaking device so she could see her system as she worked, and entreated with it again as she tried to get it to comply. Finally, after some minutes of fiddling she was able to reactivate her disguise. She felt her face and hair in her hard light disguise and felt she was in the clear. Then she wrapped Dib’s coat close around her and hugged her knees to her body as she buried her face into them. Later, how long Tak was unsure of, Mimi found her and poked her head through the bush with Tak’s boots in her mouth. She asked if she was okay, but Tak didn’t respond. Mimi continued,

“_I was able to grab your boots but your backpack is still at the house. Their parental unit went to his lab, but I didn’t want to risk being caught._” Tak still did not respond and she continued now very concerned as she went to her, “_Ma’am, are you okay?_”

“I’m fine.” Tak said coldly with her voice muffled between her legs. Then she slowly raised her head up and Mimi saw sadness in her eyes as she said slowly, “I have never been more humiliated in my entire life.” There was a pause before either of them spoke. Then Mimi asked timidly,

“_What are we going to do now?_”

Tak sighed deeply and buried her face in her hands as she said defeated, “Let’s just go home.” Mimi hung her head at her statement and looked dejected as she watched her put her boots on in silence. Tak crawled out of the bush and shook it off as she stood up, then Mimi followed in suit behind her. Tak looked at her for a moment then turned away to begin their long walk home. As she did a thought came to her, which caused her to tighten her fist and clench her teeth. She turned around to her and said angrily, “Why didn’t you do anything!?”

“_I did._” Mimi shot back offended. “_I was trying to message you._”

“And why wasn’t it working?”

Mimi was slightly confused by her question and responded likewise, “_I don’t Ma’am. I thought we fixed it._”

“I thought-” Tak began but stopped midsentence as she reflected and looked down at her hands as she squeezed them and said to herself, “I thought we fixed it too.” She looked up from them after she finished and said still angry, “Why didn’t you do anything else?”

“_What else was I supposed to do?_” She shot back also growing angry, “_It’s not like you sent me to keep watch. I only left cause of the look you gave me. You’re lucky I said anything at all, considering you told me keep quiet for the rest of the night._”

“Oh, so I’m supposed to be thanking you?” Tak said condescendingly, “For sending me a staticky message, and not doing anything to stop him?”

“_What was I supposed to do to stop him?_”

“I don’t know. Where on Irk were you that you could see him but not **_do_** anything?”

“_I-I don’t know._” Mimi said panicking and deflected, “_Why is it my fault you couldn’t pay attention to me while you were exchanging bodily fluids with your freak lab experiment!?_”

At her comment Tak let out an enraged groan and yelled, “Shut up, shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!” Then in a fit of rage she went over and kicked Mimi. Her kick did no damage but the act itself frightened and shocked Mimi. She coward in fear as Tak approached, she bent down to her and said, “You are going to keep quiet. Forever! No more comments, no more advice, and no more making me feel more disgusted with myself than I already am! Do you understand?” Mimi tried to communicate with Tak, but she was too angry to register any communication from her. She yelled again at her, “Do you understand!?”

“Yes.” Mimi almost cried out her response. She had the ability to make vocal communications but Tak forbade her to normally unless they were within their base. She could have coded her response in the noise of a cat’s meow but she was worried Tak was too angry to even understand that. Tak breathed heavily as she stood over Mimi and without another word she turned around and once again began her walk to her base. Mimi followed in tow, crouching low and quietly. After a few minutes of walking Tak had mostly calmed down. She made it to a cross road near the border of Dib’s neighborhood and heard the voice of Zim who said,

“I don’t know Gir. We’re probably not going back tonight.” She turned up the road where the voice came from and saw Zim and Gir sitting on the side of the road as they ate popcorn and watched a small handheld screen in their hands. “You really should have washed those dishes when I told you to, and the suds in the sink didn’t help.”

“I was going to do it.” Gir said annoyed as he grabbed a handful of popcorn and ate it, Zim grabbed another handful and did likewise. Tak was completely bemused at what she was seeing and walked up to them without saying a word. Zim noticed Tak approach them and said unconcerned with a full mouth,

“Oh hey Tak.” He took out more popcorn and said still chewing, “You got kicked out?”

Tak looked at the screen they were watching and saw a live feed of the Membrane household. At the sight of the two of them on the road and everything that was happening she was beside herself with how to formulate any of the questions she had. So she asked the least important one. She brought her hand to her face and brushed her hair up as she asked, “Where did you get this popcorn?”

“I made it!” Gir said excitedly to her. Then the head portion of his disguise disappeared in a flash of light, which revealed his robotic face. The top of his head opened up to show cooking popcorn and he asked her if she wanted any.

Tak stood in front of him and extended the flaps of her coat to her sides to cover him from prying eyes as she said angrily and deliberately, “We are in hiding here. Put your disguise on!”

Zim interrupted her and said unconcerned, “Hey, he can do whatever he wants.” He then turned to him and said flatly, “Gir. Put your disguise back on.”

Gir replied, “Okay!” and in anther flash of light his disguise returned with a wide smile over his human face. Tak relaxed at seeing his disguise back and let out a relieved sigh as she stood over him for a moment. Then Gir playfully poked at her belly, commenting that it was squishy. She slapped his hand away and wrapped her coat around her tightly. Then she looked to Zim and asked,

“What are you two just doing here sitting on the side of the road? And how on Irk do you have a video feed of the Membranes? I thought they didn’t have cameras in the house.”

“They don’t. They’re my cameras.” Zim stated without even the slightest hesitation.

Tak was once again beside herself at his response and asked, “Where do you have the cameras? The whole house?”

“No.” Zim said firmly with a shake of his head. Then Gir added,

“I like to watch him using the bathroom.” He then grabbed the screen from Zim’s hands and showed it to Tak. He hit a button on it which showed an empty bathroom in the house. Then Zim grabbed it back from him hurriedly and said nervously,

“I uh, keep telling him not to do that.”

Tak didn’t say anything for a moment and stood crossing her arms. She glared and said annoyed but not angry to him, “Does Dib know you have cameras in his house? Does Gaz?”

“Dib does.” Zim replied as he gave the screen back to Gir and had a face off with Tak as he also crossed his arms. While the two of them were talking neither of them noticed Mimi had snuck up to the side of Gir as she curiously examined the screen herself. Gir excitedly but quietly exclaimed “Kitty!” as he petted her gently and offered her some popcorn, which she ate happily. 

“Why is he okay that you have cameras all over his house?” Tak said with angry skepticism.

Zim unfolded his arms and raised them up in a shrug as he said, “I mean he has cameras in my house. It’s only fair.”

It seemed to Tak that more she prodded him for information the more outrageous the situation seemed. She knew Zim was eccentric, and that Dib was much more than a little obsessed with him in their early years, but their continuous surveillance of each other was too much for her. She shouted, “Why the fuck do you have cameras in each other’s houses!?”

Zim covered himself with his arms at Tak’s yelling but before either of them could continue Gir shushed them and said quietly as he pointed to the screen, “Dad’s back.”

Tak knew there could only be one “Dad” he was talking about. So she went behind them and joined in huddling around the screen to watch the events unfold in the membrane household. The video feed was the living room, Gaz sat on the couch with a towel on her head as she played on a handheld video game. Dib sat next to her hunched over with his hands folded, and their father had just entered and sat in the armchair.

“What is he going to do to them?” Tak said with hushed concern. She knew their lives weren’t at risk but some of her fears of The Professor were seeping back to her.

“Don’t know.” Zim said, absorbed in the feed, “After he caught you and Dib, he went over to the kitchen and saw the mess. Then got kind of angry and called for Gaz to come down before he went to check on things in his lab.” He spoke carelessly as he went over the events Tak missed, but as he finished he noticed Tak had placed an arm on his shoulder and began tightening it to an uncomfortable degree. He looked up at her and saw her face contorted in rage as she said dementedly between her teeth,

“You fucking saw that?” Tak was still very shy about letting others see her intimate with Dib. The idea that Zim was gawking at her as she exchanged spit with him made her want to drag Zim to her base and vivisect him.

“I got a silent alarm that somebody entered the house and checked the feed to make sure it wasn’t anything bad and when I saw it was just their dad I wanted to see what would happen. That’s it I swear.” Zim blurted out in a rushed panic as he turned to Tak.

She replied with building anger, “You watch Dib and Gaz go to the bathroom and expect me to believe that?” Before they could continue, they were again interrupted by Gir as he brought their attention to the feed as the Membrane family talked. They caught the professor in mid-sentence as he said:

[-_completely and totally irresponsible. I leave the two of you home alone for the weekend and when I’m able to come home early - I see that you decided to host some, ‘wild party’._]

The Professor wave his hand up in exaggeration for his comment. Gaz replied from her game: [_It wasn’t a ‘wild party’. We had three people over. Four if you count the cat._]

The Professor said eminently: [_That mess in the kitchen does not look like ‘four people’. Maybe a dozen or twice that._]

Gaz said indifferently: [_Well Gir can do that._]

The Professor said:[_Gaz, would please shut off your game when we’re having a discussion?_]

[_I can hear you fine dad._]

[_Gazlene, please._] Her father more ordered than entreated her. She begrudgingly obeyed and put her game down as she folded her arms in annoyance. Her father continued:

[_And who was that with you on the couch when I walked in?_]

He ended pointing to Dib who replied: [_It was Tak._]

The Professor: [_Then why was she green with antennas and bald?_]

“Heh, he noticed that.” Zim said with slight surprise.

“No fucking shit he noticed it. Now be quiet.” Tak hissed out at him as she watched the screen. Dib replied:

[_It was a costume._]

The Professor was completely bewildered and said: [_Why was she in a full body costume?_]

Dib trailed on “Because” as he tried to find an answer until Gaz blurted out: [_She’s into roleplay._]

The Professor repeated the word “roleplay” in confusion and Dib brought his hand to his face to cover in embarrassment as he said, [_Yeah… She’s into roleplay._]

“Oh my fucking…” Tak said in between her teeth as she brought her own hands to her face in embarrassment, but was interrupted by Zim who said assuredly,

“The good a cover. That’s a really good cover. I think you’re in the clear Tak.” He said pleased as he turned around to look at her.

“What’s roleplay?” Gir asked confused.

“I’ll tell you when you’re older.” Zim replied quickly as he pushed the subject to the side.

“What do I care if it’s a good cover. He thinks I’m a weirdo!” Tak almost screamed her worried response at them.

“He’s not going to think you’re a weirdo.” Zim dismissed her concern and continued after he grabbed a fistful of popcorn and said confidently, “And he’s not going to think you’re an alien.” He chewed for a bit before he continued with a full mouth, “Honestly I’m proud of after tonight. You just need to admit you’re weird like the rest of us. That make-out session was a bold move for you. I thought you found that stuff gross.”

At Zim’s light hearted but ill timed jeer, Tak grew angry and kicked their bucket of popcorn into the street. They yelled out an annoyed “Hey!?” after which Tak stormed off as she yelled to them, “I’m going home! I am going home!” Snarling as Mimi followed in suit low to the ground without a word. Tak was beyond furious with the night, and everything that happened. She walked down the street for a moment until she said to Mimi in almost a growl, “We are going home. And I’m going down the first dark alley way I see, and whoever is ugly enough to want to try to attack or rape me is getting dragged to our base so I can fucking mutilate them.” More than likely, she would do that before the end of the night. There was still plenty of it left, and the weekend hadn’t even started.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 is finally posted, but I will disappear to work on personal projects again. Will it be for another six months, who can say? Peace for now.


End file.
